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Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?


Apassion
2help
Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Hey everyone- just a quick question.

My friend, the addict, lives very far from me (Vegas) and as his family knew he had a problem 2 years ago, I just spoke with his mom last week, he lives with her.

She seems to think he has been clean for almost a year now. He told me in July he was still abusing meth, its been 2 years or more.

Is she ever going to figure this out? With her unaware, is she enabling him to abuse just by him living there and all the things that comes with it?

Why would he ever get clean if he has somewhere to go and had the ability to fool his mom and most likely getting $$$ off her?

Ok, so its more than a quick question, sorry. I just cant help but wonder, by her not knowing, will it get the best of him before he hits rock bottom?

Does she really know but not accepting it, ignoring it?

Thanks in advance
     Replies...
JUSTCATS Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Sometimes it is hard to tell when someone is tweekin'. I for one, had no idea that my ex fiancé was hooked on meth. I thought he was just being his feisty self.

I look back now, after he has been arrested, and see that there are a lot of things, that didn't add up. For one, he was losing weight like crazy, but I chalked it up to him welding at his job for 12 hours in 100 degree weather... Him needing a lot of money...

If she were, to take the blinders off and really look at certain things, she would probably realize it. In my opinion, she doesn't want to realize it. "Pretend that there is no problem and it will go away."
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Justcats...

My ex is a welder also, and I thought a lot of it had to do with his job also. I had NO clue either...

His mother was in some serious denial. She still is. She can easily blame me for his addiction, but that's alright... I know the truth. I am not to blame. He had the monkey on his back way before I can into the picture.

Sometimes you just have to walk away from the situation especially if someone is looking at the world with blinders on. I found that some people may resent you for telling them the truth. They view it at causing trouble or "stirring the pot".

Its like trying to deny being pregnant... Sooner or later it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger...
Lives
With
Wolves
Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Off topic - but is Meth prevalent in the welding industry? My son is thinking of attending a trade school and that is the only one offered in my area that I can find.
JUSTCATS Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Quote:
Off topic - but is Meth prevalent in the welding industry?
I can't remember where I read it or if it was even true, but I have heard a lot of welders are into meth. In fact, I think that is where, my ex, got back into it.
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
I've heard the same thing. My ex used to work nights in a foundry and they ALL used the sh*t (from what I heard).

But NOT al welders do meth. There's a couple of major industrial factories around here that will do random drug testing so no one dares to use any kind of drugs.

Its places like those companies that the welders make KILLER money instead of barely above minimum wage...
GaFlake Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Well, my husband hid his 11 year addiction very well. He is not a welder. HE SELLS SUPPLIES TO THE WELDERS! Is that not weird. His dealer was a customer (welder) of his. I think you girls are on to something.
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Maybe they aren't happy people... Who knows...

Until I get some financial compensation for doing the research on that, then I'll just accept the way things are. I refuse to let it occupy another moment of my "my time", the time that I need to use to focus on "me me me" instead of "wtf".

I've wasted too much time and energy beating a dead horse...

But, it is interesting to note the similarities though...
smbch06 Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Mine, too (ex-bf) was a welder! And I, too, had no idea he was using. Same story, he got thinner and thinner, working 12 and 14 hour shifts, making himself scarce during his off-hours because he didn't want his tweaking to show.. The more scarce he became, the more I complained about it, then I found myself ragging on him for leaving piles of incomplete projects everywhere.... and I thought it was ME! It took me a long time to figure it out. I hate to generalize, but it seems they are really, really good liars (guess they have to be).

As for a mother's denial - I watched my own mother deny that my brother was an addict all the while he was taking her money to buy it with and slamming it up his arm. I tried to listen as my ex-husbands mother, after my ex's 3RD DUI, insisted that it was the other car who pulled out in front of him and that the police tampered with his urine specimen, but I just had to tell her that that was the biggest crock of sh!t I've ever heard. Mercifully, she wouldn't talk to me 2 years after that. He and I are divorced now. The ex-bf meth addict is living in his car and says he's doing' just fine!
jacks
mom
Re: Hiding his meth addiction from mom, should I tell her?
Okay I could be wrong about this, but...

I think it could be possible she has NO CLUE!!! If she has not encountered the 'party scene' ever, (and I know some folks who have been straight ALL their lives), she could be totally naive about signs of drug use.

When my daughter was using, there were a couple of parents that FLAT OUT KNEW that their kids would NEVER do meth...and even after Jacklyn's O.D. there was one that would let their son have 'parties' at their home. This kid was a pretty clean cut, straight 'A' student. I don't think in their case it was denial. He was a great manipulator!

Until he got arrested along with a couple of others.

At least I suspected. AND tested. I seemed to test when she was crashing and a complete a$$ho7e...so no proof. Other than that, I couldn't tell you any signs I saw in my daughter except that she was a defiant teen...and that's a common thing for some teens anyway. BUT the defiance was magnified a gazillion times!

I ALWAYS thought I'd know. I was a stoner and 'partied' with the best of them. I saw people high all the time. But we did not have meth around back in the day. Now I can spot a tweaker, but this is only because of my obsession with internet research and paying attention.

This one can sneak up on you!

See also:

I fear my friend is back on meth

Clean of meth or not - how can you tell?

Is he still using meth?

Is a meth addict honest the day after using?

A meth addict doesn't always look like an addict

Should I be looking for Meth abuse?


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