Clean of meth or not - how can you tell?

Quote:

---

He's still selfish and thinking about himself (meaning he expects other people to do what works best for him not considering what may be best for someone else-he doesn't concern himself with inconveniencing other people) and he's sometimes vengeful and will do things just to make my life more difficult. I wonder if he is sincere or just being manipulative.

---

That selfishness is not always cause by meth use. Was he selfish before the meth use? If yes then chances are that he is just selfish. Some people are just that way.

Quote:

---

He's still selfish and thinking about himself (meaning he expects other people to do what works best for him not considering what may be best for someone else-he doesn't concern himself with inconveniencing other people) and he's sometimes vengeful and will do things just to make my life more difficult. I wonder if he is sincere or just being manipulative.

---

This sounds more like a personality trait, than a meth situation during early recovery.
Although....I had severe anger issues, short tempered, and just felt pi**ed off even if nothing was wrong, during my first 6 months of recovery.

Like rachel asked....was he like this before his meth use?

Quote:

---

He was quite the opposite before his use. Very giving, thoughtful and responsible. He would help anyone who needed it and didn't expect anything in return.

---

You know as loved ones when the people that we love are using, we seem to think that "If only" they would quit using then life would be good again. What we often unintentionally ignore are the things that we read from other people that are in recovery. We tend to think that if the using is gone all the problems will be too. But recovery brings it's own set of problems with it.

You are expecting him to be the same man that he was before he started using and it is not going to happen. Just as you have been changed by his meth use, so has he. And do you really want him to go back to that same man that thought that meth was an acceptable answer to the problems in his life?

Some things may change and some may not. He may become less selfish the longer he is in recovery. He may not.

Quote:

---

But the question who did what to whom (and even why) is irrelevant. What is relevant is to stop mourning oneself, start smiling again and love in a less subservient, hopeless, and pain-inflicting manner.

---

I found it in one of the sections from the link that you provided...

Sweetie... It is time to make today a good day. Don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today!

Quote:

---

He was quite the opposite before his use. Very giving, thoughtful and responsible. He would help anyone who needed it and didn't expect anything in return.

---

How long was he like this? Be really honest with yourself because, ultimately, it is only going to effect you. Perhaps, he was being all those positive attributes you stated because he wanted something ( panties to drop, companionship, etc. .)
If this was the case, maybe he is being more of his true self now and when he was using. In a perfect world, when people are Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and addiction is involved, we give them the benefit of the doubt that they were Dr. Jekyll.

The cold hard truth this may be Mr. Hyde. This change might have nothing to do with his addiction. He may continue being a prick for the rest of his life.

Addiction may mask the truth after it is long gone. Follow your heart, ask it.