| tiredx4 |
How do I know when he's using meth?
First thanks to all who replied to my previous
posting your stories are helping me understand and the advice is
wonderful. I do have a question regarding meth use. It was a
dead giveaway that he was using when I would find his stash or
his pipes, but he has gotten good at hiding things. A typical
day for him is go to work if he's not "sick" and in bed, comes
home, eats, and goes to bed. He sleeps a lot or so it seems here
lately. He will be sweet some days and mean as a snake the next
day. Anyway, he has mood swings. I just can pinpoint when he is
on the high and when he's coming off. He generally will work all
week and the sleep and eat all weekend. Can somebody give me
some tips? Also, he eats and he is not suffering from weight
loss. He looks fine but I know he is good at his drug use when
it comes to covering. |
Replies... |
loveman
hatemeth1 |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
That is exactly how it was for my boyfriend. Work
all week and sleep all weekend. It took me years to learn his
using pattern. I FINALLY figured it out.
He would use the first thing in the morning. Then he would take
his last hit at 12:00 noon. By the time he got home from work he
was needing another hit, so he was cranky and mean. He would
smoke pot before bed so he could sleep. He was very nice and we
had our best moments after he would smoke pot. Then on the
weekend he would not use so that he could tell himself he wasn't
an addict. That meant that he would sleep and eat and be a horid
jerk all weekend.
After he lost his job and I made him move out he reversed his
pattern. He would use all weekend long and come down all week.
All week he was a monster.
In my experience He was nice when he was using. When he wasn't
using he was a jerk. That was our pattern.
|
desp
housewife |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Lovemanhatemeth is right on with me also.
Mine justified his use with his work, and just lately has
figured out how to speed during the day and stop in time to eat
a little at 6pm and sleep by 11 or 12, then get up at 5am, do it
again...
Sunday, he sleeps most of the day going from room to room, only
stopping to eat and gorge on sweets.
So ya see, it's not them, it's us.
They have everything under control.
Because they work, or because they don't slam, or they have a
nice on the outside house..
they are in control of a poison.
Yea, it's so worth it, work hard to get speed to work harder to
get more speed..
* The eternal mindset of the rat race addict*
You'll get to the point when you'll be able to tell over the
phone or from across the street.
Lucky us, eh? |
TnSkye |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Sounds like a 'maintenance' user.
If he's showing no signs of quitting and isn't violent, how
about you find some meetings? Learn how to live your own life.
It sounds selfish at first, but the more you do for yourself,
the more power and control you have.
My hubby's main thing was lies. He lied about where he was
going, when he would be back, who he would be with. Always
stupid things. Like, do we really need a new drill at midnight?? |
tiredx4 |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
I really want to thank all of you that posted. I
"made up his mind" for him today. I made him leave for good
today. I previously filed for divorce but was letting him stay
here. He has just become mean or maybe it was just becoming more
noticeable. We have a 1 year old daugther that he has nothing to
do with but he adores his 2 boys by a previous marriage that was
pre-meth and does everything for them. He will spend his last
penny on meth and his boys but leave me and his daughter without
a dime. I can't live this way. I am a school teacher and a coach
and respected in the community. Children and adults alike
respect me and question why I stay, I had no answer other than
that I love him. I am finally at peace with accepting his
addiction but can't accept the addiction's effects on my life.
When complete strangers come up to you and say how bad off your
husband is, it's an eye opener. Thanks so much and I know I'm on
a rocky road but I'd rather be on the road I'm on than the one
he is about to go down. I intend to restrict his visitation and
have him drug tested through the courts. He has been careless
with his drugs and left things that could easily be found by our
children and I am not willing to risk our daughter getting her
hands on his dope. Wrong or right? Should I take that chance? I
don't think there is any way he can pass a hair follicle test but
I've heard there are shampoos that can clean the hair. Anybody
know if it can be passed or not? Thanks again, sorry for the
long post. |
desp
housewife |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Dear tired,
You're on to him and so much more important you're aware of the
potential danger to your daughter!
I think you'e awesome & very intuative.
A strong woman to be reckoned with!
Yes, drug testing is definately something you should do for your
peace of mind and her safety! I know of urine cleansers, but I
have'nt heard about the hair test, someone here should know and
they'll reply. |
SanDiego
Mermaid |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Tiredx4
I went to college and have a masters in Forensic Chemistry and
there is no shampoo in the world that will clean your hair to
pass a drug test. When they take a hair sample they are testing
the root of the hair.
Human hair may contain deposits of illicit drugs. Testing of
hair will provide an indicator of drug use at the time the hair
was grown. Hair samples have several advantages over urine
samples, particularly length of surveillance period (months
rather than days) and resistance to tampering. Any form of
drug-testing must be seen as a component of a clinical plan for
the management of the patient's drug misuse, mental disorder and
offending.
Introduction
Drugs and/or their metabolites which are present in the blood
stream will be incorporated into hair being generated in the
follicle. Once incorporated into the cortex of the hair, these
traces of drug/ metabolite are permanently retained and
substantially immune to any attempts to remove them. Analysis of
the hair will constitute a proxy analysis for drugs present in
the bloodstream at the time that part of the hair was grown.
Since hair grows, analysis of the end of hair near to the scalp
will indicate drugs consumed recently, while analysis of the end
of hair distant from the scalp will indicate drugs consumed some
time ago. The time period covered is limited only by the length
of the hair sample.
A typical testing procedure involves clipping a small sample of
hair from the head. At the laboratory this sample is washed to
remove surface contamination, then dissolved. Initial testing
would be by immuno-assay technology. Any positive results are
confirmed by gas chromatogram/mass spectrometer analysis.
Careful 'chain of evidence' and confidentiality procedures are
essential to protect the patient, for example barcoding the
sample at all stages of testing (DuPont & Baumgartner, 1995;
Baumgartner & Hill, 1996).
|
TnSkye |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
My daughter was 9 when I first kicked my husband
out. I've since moved from that town. He was terrible about
leaving drugs and paraphernalia out. I do not let our daughter
go with him at all. He comes here to see her.
Not only drugs, but porn and adult toys too.
Also, I would worry about who he would have her around. Whether
or not she would be abused or raped or killed. Too much at stake
to assume everything will be ok if we let our children stay with
addicts.
|
tiredx4 |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Thanks for the wealth of info, knowledge is power.
He has made me feel like his problems were mine for so long. He
has even told me that there is no way I would pass a drug test
b/c he had put drugs in my food/drinks and even told me he would
plant drugs in my home if I tried to take Emmalee from him. I
finally talked to the police and one of them told me that I
would know it if he ever put meth in my food or drink that it
would not be unnoticeable. He is a wonderful father to his 2
boys but like I said has nothing to do with his daughter. It's a
shame, asked him to give up his rights but he won't. I don't
know why b/c he doesn't try to spend any time with her. All the
people he hangs out with are just like him and are trying to
keep marriages together and keep the habit but they are all
slowly going down hill. What's amazing is I wish I could put
them all in a room together and tape the conversations. Talk
about repetition, lies, stuttering, and convincing that nobody
has a problem. Sorry but as a mother/wife of an addict I was
just venting. Those that are users please get clean it does
destroy lives. It seems like it hurts the ones that love them
more than it does them. THANKS mermaid, what relief, we go to
court Jan 3rd and he told me he was going to shave his head and
his body. Think he will look guilty then? |
TnSkye |
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Quote:
he was going to shave his head and his body.
My husband started doing this when I found out about his
addiction!!
Yes, you would notice if he put drugs in your food/drink.
Definately. So many addicts make that threat. I think judges
pretty much know what to listen for nowadays. |
loveman
hatemeth1
|
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
You are smart to protect your daughter. We
separated before I knew he was an addict. It was sheer instinct
that kept me from letting him take our baby alone. I thank god
now because he was completely irresponsible on drugs. Your child
is NEVER safe when they are using and especially when they are
coming off.
But let me warn you. He will make threat after threat after
threat about taking your daughter from you or telling you what
an unfit mother you are, or just plain ol trying to make you
feel guilty for "keeping" his precious daughter from him. They
are all more than likley "meth bluffs".
My addict had me scared to death for a while, until I realized
what meth does to their thinking. |
TnSkye
|
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
At Christmas when I wouldn't let our daughter take
an all-day trip to his grandmother's, he said, "Well, its time
to file for divorce."
I said ok.
He said, "We'll let the judge say when I can see her."
I said ok.
He hasn't mentioned it since. He knows as well as I do that he's
better off right now.
He sees her 2-3 times a week. I let him stay on Sat nights when
he wants to. He doesn't pay child support.
What would a judge say?
I would ask for supervised visitation.
If I was denied, he would get her every OTHER weekend and have
to pay child support.
I'd say he's better off with things as they are. |
