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How do I know when he's using Meth?


tiredx4 How do I know when he's using meth?
First thanks to all who replied to my previous posting your stories are helping me understand and the advice is wonderful. I do have a question regarding meth use. It was a dead giveaway that he was using when I would find his stash or his pipes, but he has gotten good at hiding things. A typical day for him is go to work if he's not "sick" and in bed, comes home, eats, and goes to bed. He sleeps a lot or so it seems here lately. He will be sweet some days and mean as a snake the next day. Anyway, he has mood swings. I just can pinpoint when he is on the high and when he's coming off. He generally will work all week and the sleep and eat all weekend. Can somebody give me some tips? Also, he eats and he is not suffering from weight loss. He looks fine but I know he is good at his drug use when it comes to covering.
     Replies...
loveman
hatemeth1
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
That is exactly how it was for my boyfriend. Work all week and sleep all weekend. It took me years to learn his using pattern. I FINALLY figured it out.

He would use the first thing in the morning. Then he would take his last hit at 12:00 noon. By the time he got home from work he was needing another hit, so he was cranky and mean. He would smoke pot before bed so he could sleep. He was very nice and we had our best moments after he would smoke pot. Then on the weekend he would not use so that he could tell himself he wasn't an addict. That meant that he would sleep and eat and be a horid jerk all weekend.
After he lost his job and I made him move out he reversed his pattern. He would use all weekend long and come down all week. All week he was a monster.
In my experience He was nice when he was using. When he wasn't using he was a jerk. That was our pattern.  
desp
housewife
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Lovemanhatemeth is right on with me also.

Mine justified his use with his work, and just lately has figured out how to speed during the day and stop in time to eat a little at 6pm and sleep by 11 or 12, then get up at 5am, do it again...
Sunday, he sleeps most of the day going from room to room, only stopping to eat and gorge on sweets.
So ya see, it's not them, it's us.
They have everything under control.
Because they work, or because they don't slam, or they have a nice on the outside house..
they are in control of a poison.
Yea, it's so worth it, work hard to get speed to work harder to get more speed..
* The eternal mindset of the rat race addict*
You'll get to the point when you'll be able to tell over the phone or from across the street.
Lucky us, eh?
TnSkye Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Sounds like a 'maintenance' user.
If he's showing no signs of quitting and isn't violent, how about you find some meetings? Learn how to live your own life. It sounds selfish at first, but the more you do for yourself, the more power and control you have.
My hubby's main thing was lies. He lied about where he was going, when he would be back, who he would be with. Always stupid things. Like, do we really need a new drill at midnight??
tiredx4 Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
I really want to thank all of you that posted. I "made up his mind" for him today. I made him leave for good today. I previously filed for divorce but was letting him stay here. He has just become mean or maybe it was just becoming more noticeable. We have a 1 year old daugther that he has nothing to do with but he adores his 2 boys by a previous marriage that was pre-meth and does everything for them. He will spend his last penny on meth and his boys but leave me and his daughter without a dime. I can't live this way. I am a school teacher and a coach and respected in the community. Children and adults alike respect me and question why I stay, I had no answer other than that I love him. I am finally at peace with accepting his addiction but can't accept the addiction's effects on my life. When complete strangers come up to you and say how bad off your husband is, it's an eye opener. Thanks so much and I know I'm on a rocky road but I'd rather be on the road I'm on than the one he is about to go down. I intend to restrict his visitation and have him drug tested through the courts. He has been careless with his drugs and left things that could easily be found by our children and I am not willing to risk our daughter getting her hands on his dope. Wrong or right? Should I take that chance? I don't think there is any way he can pass a hair follicle test but I've heard there are shampoos that can clean the hair. Anybody know if it can be passed or not? Thanks again, sorry for the long post.
desp
housewife
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Dear tired,
You're on to him and so much more important you're aware of the potential danger to your daughter!
I think you'e awesome & very intuative.
A strong woman to be reckoned with!
Yes, drug testing is definately something you should do for your peace of mind and her safety! I know of urine cleansers, but I have'nt heard about the hair test, someone here should know and they'll reply.
SanDiego
Mermaid
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Tiredx4
I went to college and have a masters in Forensic Chemistry and there is no shampoo in the world that will clean your hair to pass a drug test. When they take a hair sample they are testing the root of the hair.
Human hair may contain deposits of illicit drugs. Testing of hair will provide an indicator of drug use at the time the hair was grown. Hair samples have several advantages over urine samples, particularly length of surveillance period (months rather than days) and resistance to tampering. Any form of drug-testing must be seen as a component of a clinical plan for the management of the patient's drug misuse, mental disorder and offending.

Introduction
Drugs and/or their metabolites which are present in the blood stream will be incorporated into hair being generated in the follicle. Once incorporated into the cortex of the hair, these traces of drug/ metabolite are permanently retained and substantially immune to any attempts to remove them. Analysis of the hair will constitute a proxy analysis for drugs present in the bloodstream at the time that part of the hair was grown. Since hair grows, analysis of the end of hair near to the scalp will indicate drugs consumed recently, while analysis of the end of hair distant from the scalp will indicate drugs consumed some time ago. The time period covered is limited only by the length of the hair sample.

A typical testing procedure involves clipping a small sample of hair from the head. At the laboratory this sample is washed to remove surface contamination, then dissolved. Initial testing would be by immuno-assay technology. Any positive results are confirmed by gas chromatogram/mass spectrometer analysis. Careful 'chain of evidence' and confidentiality procedures are essential to protect the patient, for example barcoding the sample at all stages of testing (DuPont & Baumgartner, 1995; Baumgartner & Hill, 1996).
TnSkye Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
My daughter was 9 when I first kicked my husband out. I've since moved from that town. He was terrible about leaving drugs and paraphernalia out. I do not let our daughter go with him at all. He comes here to see her.

Not only drugs, but porn and adult toys too.
Also, I would worry about who he would have her around. Whether or not she would be abused or raped or killed. Too much at stake to assume everything will be ok if we let our children stay with addicts.
tiredx4 Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
Thanks for the wealth of info, knowledge is power. He has made me feel like his problems were mine for so long. He has even told me that there is no way I would pass a drug test b/c he had put drugs in my food/drinks and even told me he would plant drugs in my home if I tried to take Emmalee from him. I finally talked to the police and one of them told me that I would know it if he ever put meth in my food or drink that it would not be unnoticeable. He is a wonderful father to his 2 boys but like I said has nothing to do with his daughter. It's a shame, asked him to give up his rights but he won't. I don't know why b/c he doesn't try to spend any time with her. All the people he hangs out with are just like him and are trying to keep marriages together and keep the habit but they are all slowly going down hill. What's amazing is I wish I could put them all in a room together and tape the conversations. Talk about repetition, lies, stuttering, and convincing that nobody has a problem. Sorry but as a mother/wife of an addict I was just venting. Those that are users please get clean it does destroy lives. It seems like it hurts the ones that love them more than it does them. THANKS mermaid, what relief, we go to court Jan 3rd and he told me he was going to shave his head and his body. Think he will look guilty then?
TnSkye Re: How do I know when he's using meth?

Quote:


he was going to shave his head and his body.
 
My husband started doing this when I found out about his addiction!!
Yes, you would notice if he put drugs in your food/drink. Definately. So many addicts make that threat. I think judges pretty much know what to listen for nowadays.
loveman
hatemeth1
 
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
You are smart to protect your daughter. We separated before I knew he was an addict. It was sheer instinct that kept me from letting him take our baby alone. I thank god now because he was completely irresponsible on drugs. Your child is NEVER safe when they are using and especially when they are coming off.
But let me warn you. He will make threat after threat after threat about taking your daughter from you or telling you what an unfit mother you are, or just plain ol trying to make you feel guilty for "keeping" his precious daughter from him. They are all more than likley "meth bluffs".
My addict had me scared to death for a while, until I realized what meth does to their thinking.
TnSkye
 
Re: How do I know when he's using meth?
At Christmas when I wouldn't let our daughter take an all-day trip to his grandmother's, he said, "Well, its time to file for divorce."
I said ok.
He said, "We'll let the judge say when I can see her."
I said ok.
He hasn't mentioned it since. He knows as well as I do that he's better off right now.
He sees her 2-3 times a week. I let him stay on Sat nights when he wants to. He doesn't pay child support.
What would a judge say?
I would ask for supervised visitation.
If I was denied, he would get her every OTHER weekend and have to pay child support.
I'd say he's better off with things as they are.

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How do I know if my boyfriend is using Meth?


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