KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Are meth addicts pathological liars?

niko18	Are meth addicts pathological liars? hi...I have been reading on this site almost every day for the last few years to learn about meth addiction and how to deal with an addict. I am not an addict, although I did try meth no more than a handful of times with someone that I thought I knew and someone that I thought cared about me. I came here trying to understand the mind of the person I thought I knew when we were "dating". I recently just learned things about him that I never knew and it makes me ill. I don't want to generalize - especially because I have come to highly regard all of your experiences and advice to others - but are meth addicts pathological liars? My head is swimming with the lies he's told me, from how long he's been doing meth, to his sexual orientation, to his relationship history...you name it, everything was a lie. So, now that I know he was with men as well as women...what do I do (besides get tested)? He's now living with his pregnant girlfriend, and her entire family is addicted to meth. There's rumors that he's gay and she's just a cover. I don't care about that so much as that if he's gay, why was he with me or other girls? The reason it didn't work with us is that once I realized he was involved in drugs more than he let on, I wouldn't see him if drugs were around. I thought that if he cared about me he would stop using because I didn't. I thought I could show him the better side of life. He tried to get me to do meth with him every time I saw him, but I would always say no after the first few times. I just didn't like it and it seemed that he needed it to just get through the day. It got to the point where he didn't want me around because I wouldn't put up with it. It took me a very long time to get over him, wondering why I wasn't good enough to save him, but I know better now. But, what's killing me now is I feel like a FOOL...I want him to know that I know the truth, but what good will it do, right? I want him to know that I now know every thing he told me was a lie - and I mean everything. How he could look me in the eye and lie to my face is beyond me. Do I leave it alone? When someone is caught up in their own web of lies do they even care about the people that they're hurting? Someone here always says to "Let go and let God" and I love that. I cared about this person with all of my heart, but I'm so mad that I want to get revenge. Besides knowing it's wrong, I'm also scared because from what I understand his "girl" comes from a hard core gang related environment and I am completely opposite. Our worlds are a million miles apart. A pathological liar believes their lies as the truth. Do they ever have a moment of clarity and realize how deceptive they are? thanks for listening
Replies...
kmb2006	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? *Quote:* are meth addicts pathological liars? Liars? Yes. Master manipulators. Pathological? Most likely not. They will say whatever is necessary to protect their addictions. *Quote:* So, now that I know he was with men as well as women...what do I do (besides get tested)? If you are no longer in contact with him, then yes, getting tested is all you should do. If he's still in active addiction, you will only end up being fed more lies and excuses and will only end up more hurt and confused. Like picking the scab off a healing wound. If he is in recovery, there might come a time that he will feel the need to make amends to you, but he'll have to do that in his own time. You'll have to wait for him to come to you. *Quote:* When someone is caught up in their own web of lies do they even care about the people that they're hurting? Maybe, but they care about the drug more. Nothing matters as much as that next hit. *Quote:* I'm also scared because from what I understand his "girl" comes from a hard core gang related environment and I am completely opposite. Our worlds are a million miles apart. Yeah, leave it alone. Now she's the one getting manipulated and lied to. Good for you for putting your foot down and not getting sucked into it.
SOS1988	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? When I was using meth I lied and used if I had to, whatever I had to do to score more drugs to feel alright. I agree with the other posts you won't get a straight answer from him until he's clean. I started hating people that didn't use hard drugs because I felt like I was being looked down on, that they thought they were better than me, it fills you with so much contempt you can't see straight...There's no point in getting emotional over his past mistakes, I recommend letting the past be. If you still feel sore just keep in mind he's the one that's going to burn for his actions; being strung out his hell on earth.
niko18	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? I will read your comments every time I need reassurance. I appreciate you taking the time to respond
niko18	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? SOS - you are right about that. I always thought I was being supportive by building him up but he would always find a way to see the negative and think I was putting him down and say "why do you act like you're better than me?" I didn't get it at the time. Thanks for responding
scorpio	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? *Quote:* are meth addicts pathological liars? Well, other than the effect of the drug, meth users are as diverse as any other 'group' of people. So some of us are most likely pathological liars. The drug itself doesn't cause someone to 'become' a pathological liar, however any illegal and/or socially unacceptable lifestyle lends itself to deceitfulness. *Quote:* if he's gay, why was he with me or other girls He may be bisexual, which would cause an attraction to both men and women. Get yourself tested simply because he's been sexually promiscuous, and let this one go, it really has nothing to do with you, or your past relationship with him. *Quote:* I thought that if he cared about me he would stop using Its really hard for a non-addict to understand this one. Imagine someone saying to you, 'if you don't stop breathing, I can't be with you', a little overkill here, but not really. There are times in an addicts life that they truly believe there is no possibility of not using drugs. *Quote:* wondering why I wasn't good enough to save him I know how this feels, even though I'm an addict, and have lived my own addiction, at times during my husbands relapses, I have felt this same way. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I don't feel that way today. I suggest you get some support for yourself before this becomes a life long pattern for you. Go to Alanon, get a sponsor there, work the steps. God bless you, and I suspect you suffer from an illness that is just as powerful and damaging as drug addiction, its called co-dependence and you too can recover.
anon	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? Pathological liar is a non-clinical term for a person who intentionally provides untrue accounts, often not to hide or gain anything in particular. This is different from a person who lies, yet believes them. This action is known as confabulation. Though "pathological liar" is not a clinical term, this only indicates that it is not defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fourth Edition), or DSM-IV, as a disorder. Pathological lying may be the manifestation of an anti-social behavior, such as Antisocial personality disorder, also known as sociopathic behavior. It should be stated that still other disorders may include chronic lying as part of their description. For example, a person diagnosed with Dissociative identity disorder will deny doing things he or she does not remember. The person may have no memory of an action and will insist that it never happened. However, anyone who had witnessed the action will believe the individual to be lying. This is, of course, an over-simplified version, and any actual situation will be more complicated. Confusing the issue more, some people diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder may also have sociopathic tendencies and intentionally lie about some things. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathological_liar
Sfj	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? Meth stimulates the center portion of the human brain. That part regulates or stimulates, the functions of a more primitive nature. Things like feelings of pleasure, sex, 'flight or fight' tweaking ? rapidly repeated movements. Meth ignores the front part of the brain. That is the part that is responsible for higher levels of administrative thought. Things like logic, ethics, morals, abstract thinking, math, and yes, even such concepts as truth. When truth is ignored, or even pushed aside by a demand for physical pleasure, it may appear that the person is lying. In a way he is of course. But it's more a matter of shutting out any need or desire to be truthful. The chemical properties of methamphetamine will cause a personal obligation to be truthful to become very insignificant and virtually nonexistent.
Indian ashedevil	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? Addicts are liars and manipulators. That comes with the territory. I've noticed that a lot of addicts in recovery work on that and thus it can change. Then again there are people out there with issues with telling the truth. It can be very easy to confuse the difference between the two... That's just what I have concluded within my own personal experience. Just because my ex lied all the time about everything under the sun (at least to me and his family), I try my best not to hold it against or assume that recovering addicts are in the same category...
luve piphany	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? Well, you have gotten excellent answers to your question. I have asked that same question about my addict bf. Among all of the excellent answers I received, the one that stuck with me the most or shall I say I understood the most in my heart is, "meth addicts don't lie, they just make up their own truths". Then I went to AlAnon & NarAnon meetings for myself to try settle my heart and soothe the revenge I wanted for the "truths" my addict made up for me because I was going insane! I have just recently posted a question on an online Al-Anon message board asking how I deal with the anger I have for being stupid enough to believe my addict when he told me he would repay me for a loan of many thousands of dollars...he continues to tell me he will pay me back but his actions show zero...I was told that I should probably just think of the money as a gift....and leave it at that along with giving it up to God etc. Then one woman responded with a link to a website dealing with narcissists. Wow! There is a lot of info there-check it out. Just search narcissism-amazing! My bf and the last bf both have all of the symptoms of being narcissists-both use meth and have used drugs for many years-both were what I thought of as pathological liars. I have done lots of research on this lying business and I don't know if my experiences are unique but I have found that meth addicts are narcissists-whether they are only that way because of the meth or they were born that way, I don't know. I just have seen and experienced pathological lying-denial of lying-true belief in their lies and basically a complete warped sense of reality from all of them no matter how much they loved or cared for me. I have seen and heard meth addicts say that black is white and white is black and believe it in their meth shrouded minds. Check out groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER I think you will at least find some peace and comfort in not being alone by believing the lies of an addict you loved and maybe you will put off the need for revenge for another day... lots of luv to you
Sfj	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? Very Interesting. The notion of comparing a meth user to a person with "NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER" is something that needs attention. Meth gives the user a sense of superiority, invulnerability, confidence, superiority and things like that.
luve piphany	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? Ya, interesting. And if you think that's interesting, check out lovefraud.com.....recovering from loving a sociopath. It's stretching the severity of many of our relationship problems with meth addicts, but many of the same coping and detaching tools are given plus many of the symptoms-or red flags are the same with sociopaths and meth addicts. Just from what I have read....
Indiana shedevil	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? luv... Hmm... I like that condensed version of your screen name... Hope you don't mind Thank you for sharing this stuff about narcissism. OMG... I can't diagnose or assume that this what I was dealing with regarding my ex... I just know that there are a lot of characteristics mentioned there and I just thank my Higher Power for giving me the strength to run while I had the chance.
luve piphany	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? Yeah, scary huh. I thank that sweet gal on the Al-Anon online message board for emailing me privately to tell me that perhaps I should check it out. Ya know, God really uses people everyday-thanks God and thanks to all of you who humbly allow Him to use you
niko18	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? thank you everyone for your responses. It's interesting about the narcissism. He truly was, yet at the same time was he really? He needs to use a drug that gives him that false sense of superiority. He would tell me that's how he feels when he does it and that it makes him a better more improved version of himself. Ok. whatever. Towards the end he was downright evil. I'm finally tired of wasting my time trying to figure out his mind and his life and with the help of everyone's words of wisdom I will soon be over the feelings of betrayal. It's funny, last night I cam across a journal entry and the last line was "Imagining him not being in my life is a difficult thought to fathom." Today I can't imagine him being in my life. Thank you for listening. It's comforting to know I'm not alone and that there's people that understand.
Cindy Lou	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? He's gay and his other half is a cover? There is a soon to be baby in the mix? Am I the only person seeing something way wrong in that thought? Just who's business is it to deal with all this meth crap? Honestly people? Who's? Do most people think as long as its not me? I will tell you this... I'm going to do my dambdist for me and anyone else.. I'm no better than anyone else.. I do have a high standard when it comes to human life. Meth messes with the very core of human life... I'm freaking pissed about it..
lax2	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? I've never been much of a liar in any condition. Even when I was using drugs I rarely lied. I'm sure many of you non users even tell more white lies, or stretch the truth in everyday life that I did even at the peak of my using. I don't even like to B.S., false flatter, or give fake compliments more than I have to; however sometimes it is cordial "No you don't look fat in that, you're not fat!" On the other hand there were times when I was "Merely" delusional"...
Cindy Lou	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? I tend to think when someone asks me if they're fat that they are being pretty shallow.. I would be known to say something like this.. I don't care if you're fat or skinny, I like who you are and lets go out and make a good memories..
forget suzette	Re: Are meth addicts pathological liars? no. ......but, some pathological liars are meth addicts.