KCI The Anti_Meth Site

What caused you to stop using Meth?

hussie dors	What caused you to stop using Meth? I really would like to know what was the main thing that made all of the recovering addicts in here STOP using? What was the catalyst? Was it a case of .. you were sick and tired of being sick and tired? What was YOUR rock bottom? Did you just know in your own heart.. That this was the time? Or is it all trial and error?
Replies...
Naiev Newly wed	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? I put my addict in prison....that didn't make him stop though. The reality that he truly did lose everything - including his freedom - did.
hussie dors	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? Thankyou NN.. I should have also put this question to the loved ones.. I can relate to what you said NN...My addict is also in prison .. he has lost his freedom.. he has lost everything... it might be his rock bottom.
Sfj	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? I strongly believe that we meth addicts will stop when the pain of continued use exceeds the fear of withdrawal. I was in too much pain to continue. (emotional pain)
eyes open83	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? co signed with sfj plus i couldn't handle the voices in my head any longer....
silly veronica	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? No offense Leslie (REALLY, none meant) but I don't think you'll really know with your husband until he gets released from prison. I was 100%, no question at all, convinced that Chad was recovering and healthy and going to come out of prison a changed man. He did 9 months of Bible study, church (even singing in the choir), NA meetings as often as he could, reading on his own. I was so wrong. The true test will be when he's home (again, I mean NO disrespect by that).
FSOAB	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? Naiev, I hope with all my heart that he will get out and build from there. That you have a wonderful life together.. Don't put a whole lot of stock into did just yet.. Don't want your bubble to pop like the atomic bomb. I've got a box of 'I love you more than anything' and 'I really screwed up' and 'all I want is you and our daughter....' Pictures up the ying-yang, cute little boxes made out of match sticks.. He talked a good talk after he got out for about a year and everything went BANG!!! Really hope its not so for you...
Lisa	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? Knowing my son deserved better than a using mom was my catalyst.
forget suzett	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? the last time I flat ran out of money, and sanity ........ 3 times before that I realized I wasn't a "functional user" anymore and HAD to quit. simply because... I was not mentally capable of doing a job, or getting a new one, ......to make the money, to keep going. and was not willing to do any of the things it would take to continue.........so I fell flat on resources. I went crazy 3x. ...a few times I wanted to pursue other consciousness. I got busted....back in 86' when I was 22. for singing the alphabet with an 8 ball and 2 quarters. ...............being in rehab, made it hard to keep using. there was a time I was functional .....about 15 years. where I did it to get focus........and did the things I needed to do to require focus. and quit.......to me. when there were enough things I needed to organize or wanted to draw, I did it again. I was "functional" when I quit BEFORE I hit bottom. ..I didn't know what "bottom" was. but it got to where, I got more crazy than focused. ...and spent all night looking for supplies, I was sitting on............or something. I quit 6 years and never picked up a pencil to draw I felt numb, my brain was not fine tuned. ...it felt like I was under a spell....like, waiting for it to lift. When I relapsed after that long sobriety... ....the second it hit my blood stream.... I told myself, I tried it, the worlds way....and I hate it. I'll never NOT do speed again..............................I'm going to die using. I gave it my all to make good on the promise. so whatever threatened to take speed away... .........................I scoffed a it's importance. with great passionate defiance............in the downward spiral............when I was severely flailing in twisted dark psychosis........"not minding" living on the street in order to have meth.......smoking in condemned bldgs. .....and I knew I was circling to land....I was still living... .......I thought.... if I'm going to do it...I might at well do it right and REALLY........go down in flames, skidding down the runway on my side.........so I took out 9 payday loans. I quit about 500 times when I was enlisted... .....I saw rock bottom only 4 or 5 times in 25 years. I've seen rod stewart 13 times. ...............I'm glad I did something else. It's going to be OK......see? what could happen?
Naiev Newly wed	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? I have to believe in what he's done so far. He has remained clean since being incarcerated. There is plenty of meth in there...along with heroin, pot, and everything else you can imagine. He has attended 32 NA meetings. He's been tested 18 times (all clean). He has said out loud "I'm an addict and I'm always going to be an addict." He has admitted he is powerless and has found his Higher Power. He has searched his past and knows what pain from his past he must deal with. He knows he will lose what little he has left if he touches it again. I can no longer look to the future - but what he has accomplished so far. One day at a time. People out of prison do stay clean - it's very discouraging when I'm always hearing other stories of their loved ones not making it. Incarcerated or not - there is NEVER a guarantee from one day to the next that an addict won't use. If all the recovering addicts here can do it, why am I constantly being made to feel like because my husband's in prison he won't? Is he 'tainted' because he did time? There are things I will never share / do with my husband - even if he stays clean for the rest of our living days. Why? Because I'll never FULLY trust or let my guard down. Because I know there are no guarantees.
nine years clean	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? I sensed death was very near, and although I had been trying to give my life back to my maker since the time I first attempted suicide at the age of 14, for the first time in my life, I CHOSE life. I had an epiphany, thank God.
hussie dors	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? nineyearsclean, my addict said something similar to me. He said... I have to stop or i just know I'm going to die...Your reply gave me goose bumps.
Iselita	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? I was tired of being a loser, a loser that was going to have a baby. It started with me not wanting to use meth while i was pregnant. After i had my baby I said, I am free why go back. I saw it here and there but had too many bad memories from it, I have a hate towards meth and a fear, That was 3 yrs ago
missy buns	Re: What caused you to stop using Meth? I could not feel love. The self loathing was consuming me. I felt so alone, guilty, a slave to addiction, so ashamed. My addiction was killing me mentally, physically, and spiritually. I had to surrender.