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Is husband seeking sex elsewhere because of meth?


mtgl7771
 
Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
I know that meth and crack cocaine can give a strong sex drive. Me and my husband have had no sex for 1 month due to his use of the above. However I have found in the past months 2 videos of pure porn, and now on the internet many videos (mostly rap) but uncensored, very nasty. I have no indication that he has had an affair. Most of the time he is home and high but is this just a thing to watch or is it pretty likely that he is finding it elsewhere?
     Replies...
Sfj Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
Anything is possible.
Some meth addicts remain faithful, but many are not.
Porn is common for male meth users to watch.
evewuz
framed69
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
Could your problem be in part due to his inability to rise to the occasion? It was only when my ex fiancé was extremely heavy on meth that he experienced physical difficulties during sex such as difficulty maintaining an erection and ejaculating.

There was also a psychological rift between us.

If you and man have some type of discord/ disharmony going between you (possibly due to his meth use)--that might be part of the reason for your coming together less often.

As far as the porn goes, it is common for both male and female speed freaks to watch.
forget
suzette
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
this is a very relevant to methamphetamine discussion topic.
...This woman is trying to understand what's happening to her connection, and intimacy level with her porno obsessed
loved one.
a very common symptom of our addiction.
..I guess you aren't an addict or a spouse to an addict.
are you someone's parent?
..........we are discussing meth addiction.
my ex boyfriend, who I was with 9 years, became obsessed with anal sex, wanting me to do it (no way) and he asked me to stick a cucumber up his ass.
....and that's so common it's a joke here.
some bad things happened to us.
an answer to the original question.
....addicts become so self absorbed, a lot of us get so
perverted that we tend to satisfy ourselves.
if he's home.
...he's not out cheating.
the same general rules apply with any man.
.....but if I were you, I'd go find a real partner.
there's some evidence that he's living in his own private Idaho.

good luck. 
UCL
Angel
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
This is probably my least favorite reality to have to face about the whole spouse-of-a-meth-addict thing.

All I really feel comfortable saying is, it sucks what meth does to a once loving and solid relationship,...and it sucks what meth and internet porn can do to what was once an intimate, loving and thriving sexual connection between two people.

I'm sorry for everyone who has to go through the pain of it.
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
In my case, before I knew about the meth, I thought that we had a decent sex life. It was fulfilling until the internet bs, I caught him having an internet affair with someone in WI. He claimed it was a mid-life crisis thing. That was 2 years before I found out about the meth.

After the discovery & he moved out, he hooked up with a woman who partied & used meth. Her name was Tina. Hmm... Ironic, isn't it? He did later admit to both of us that he was using her to get at me. Oh, it got at me alright!

Now in recovery, he doesn't want it, not interested in it, no seeking it elsewhere.

I thought it was just me the whole time. Evidently he's the one that has issues that he has to deal with. Sex isn't important to him right now. His recovery is.
forget
suzette
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
send him to me.
....I found the one thing that helped me get my groove
 back, was talking (writing about) how you feel.

...erotic story writing was the most helpful thing I did.
I didn't care if I ever had sex again when I quit.

...and writing gets you to spend time in that area of your
brain again.

now I'm as sexually deviant as a sober person can be.
.... a lot of people who came to the sex forum numb, leave
flirtatious, and more sexually aware of their own potential.

it's password protected, but when he gets there, I'll send the key.
just a suggestion.
LoveMet Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
Well MT, for me with my fiancé' (who is an addict). He cannot usually "rise" to the occasion unless he has smoked it. But he has a very unhealthy obsession with porn. He used to make porn collages...nothing but taped together pictures of women's.....and butt's...it was really quite disgusting...Or he would pick like Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton and do the same thing. He would sit there and rub himself to porn or sexual movies all the time. So it is common...
mtgl
7771
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
My TV bill came in and there again 2 new videos from pleasures. He swears he didn't do it. I can not believe he expects me to buy that. I tell him on that day your son was testing at school from 8am to 1pm and these started at noon. He says that he is not going to confess to something he didn't do. where does it end?
Indiana
shedevil
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
Quote:
where does it end?????

When you have had enough.

Remember that addicts are master manipulators. My ex tried to lie his way out of something that I witnessed him do. He tried to tell me that I was hallucinating because I was tired. Funny now, but at the time my jaw dropped and I thought, "You have lost your friggin' mind!"
I admit that I tried to argue with him. That was a lost cause. What he said made no sense whatsoever to me, but to him it was a logical and valid argument.

Seeking
Faith
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
Oh man, don't that sound familiar.. My hubby paid someone's phone bill with his debit card out of his company account. Now if this was a legit charge .. he would have just explained it.. but even after seeing it in black and white.. he still didn't know what the charge was?? WTF.. they really do think we are stupid or what?? and of course I tried to argue it with him.. I had the (*^(*& bank statement in my hand.. he looked at it.. STILL didn't have a (&%^$%%^&* clue.. good Freakin grief already!@!!!!!!. Masters at their game that is for sure... I am learning to play, but every time I think I got it figured out.. they change the damn game. I can't keep up anymore
UCL
Angel
Re: Is husband seeking sex elsewhere?
>> Masters at their game that is for sure... I am learning
>> to play, but every time I think I got it figured out..
>> they change the damn game. I can't keep up anymore

....Lying goes hand in hand with addiction.
His addiction alone is a game you cannot win, but, if he is that much of a player and is cheating on you too and lying to you,...what kind of relationship do you really have?
Why not leave and start a healthier life for yourself elsewhere?

See also:

Meth, porn, and another perspective

What does Meth do for a man's sexual appetite?

Porn, Sex Addiction & Meth Recovery

Sexual Problems and Crystal Meth


Back to Crystal Meth & Methamphetamine Questions, Answers & Advice


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