Addiction: leave your spouse, never your kids?

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I mean we made her move out because of her addiction and here I am sitting with my hubby day in and day out while he drinks and is in denial.

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I guess my question to you is, why make the daughter move out while the hubby gets to stay?

Not trying to be judgmental, but trying to understand your choices.

In my mind, especially being a recovering addict myself, I can't help but wonder what effect or feelings has that created in your daughter? It seems like a double standard to me.
I left my addict ex-hubby. I had to, for my own recovery. My oldest daughter was told to hit the door years later, so I can't put the two together in the same time frame as she was only 8 when I left my ex.

I still pray for my oldest. I also still chose not to have an addict/alcoholic for a significant other. I have to remain consistent in my own recovery. Does that make any sense?

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This whole notion of kicking people out is perplexing to me.

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Yep, me too. I was welcome to stay at home as long as I wanted to. I also had the freedom to leave when I wanted. Same with my son.

Now I did leave my home. It was/is absolutely heartbreaking to me to see my son high. The sores, the behavior, the coming down. He gets so thin when he does it for a long time. It was most painful. I cried way to much.

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I and my family members actually like each other.

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Us too. See, I do like my son and he likes his mommy. We talk, we laugh and we have even cried together. He does what he does. I cannot control that. He is an adult. Alls I can do is try to show him how it's hurting him. And hurting him it is.

One the other hand, I'm thinking I would not put up with some of the things I've read here that wives do put up with. I can't say for certain but I can't see me doing it. But then again I do believe in vows. I do believe they are to be took seriously. I see a lot of encouraging people to leave their spouses. Can't say that I really agree with that.

I'm thinking there is no "one size fits all" here. We are all different. Different tolerance levels. I guess you do what you have to. I don't know. That's why this is a good place. Most likely you going to find somebody here that has been where you are right now.

Oh and off topic Sfj? I actually thought it was a pretty good question. Seems to be about dealing with meth to me. 

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BUT there are rules in our home. One rule is no drugs. Rules are good, consequences are good. You cannot live in my house and do drugs. So if one of my children decide to do drugs then they are making the decision not to live here.

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I agree with this 100% - regardless of whether it's your spouse or your child.

SFJ - I feel like you get too bent on the whole divorce issue - you're against it, and that's okay. Do I feel like some people get married and divorced for the wrong reasons, yes. But what about the rest of us? Is divorce EVER okay in your eyes? It's okay to expect someone to stay in a marriage because of vows when there is drug use? Or verbal abuse? Or physical abuse? Divorce isn't always right ... but it isn't always wrong either, and I get the feeling that's what you're trying to portray.

I give your wife credit because if she lived through HALF the hell I've lived through, then I have NO IDEA how she was able to stay sane and keep the marriage going ... I truthfully don't.

I don't feel bad, not one single bit, for kicking my addict out. You don't get to behave like that, continue to lie and hurt people, betray people's trust, cheat and whatever else you want to do and still get to stay in a nice, warm bed at night with food on the table for your meals and everyone else taking care of you. You just don't.

Again, MY situation.

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I'm not certain, but this whole thread seems a bit off topic to me, but since we don't have a real OT forum anymore, I'll jump in and see what happens.

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The thread began with a question about living with addicts in the family.

How, exactly, was that ever off topic? I think it is a valid question, myself.