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About my Husband - Is there life after meth?


   Mother of 3-together 12 years. I have been separated from my husband for bout 7 months, I just learned of his addiction a few months before that, now I look at it I was in denial my self due to being 7 months pregnant. After making him leave here he was bouncing round place to place like all the rest I read bout here. He was recently busted for making it and I was in shock...guess my story like the rest "Good man, had it all, etc," What the hell is happening to my life?
   Since his bust 1 month ago he has been staying at cousins house (2 years clean) went through all the detox and back to better than normal... what I want to know is where do I go from here. -To start he would beg me back and lie bout being done....knew that was lies...stayed away...would talk once weekly -got busted and ran straight home where he was not allowed and was picked up.... -went to cousins and showed up at moms one day while detoxing...looked awful -I have only seen him that once till yesterday... was I surprised to see a fat, (well fatter) healthy, funny, SMILING, socialable man. After using bout 2 years and bout 7 months heavily.
   I am wondering if this is normal for such short time? Is it possible for him to stay clean now? Should I give him any hope of coming home? Do I leave him be and let him recover? How long and what is happening to him?
   I have no knowledge of crank or any speed. Never been round it till now. All I know is what I have read here in last few days. Thank you all for being so open!!! I really have no idea what I am doing or what to say here...
- wife n mother


Replies

Pat -
   Dear wife and mother, Welcome to the message board. I am the mother of a meth addict who passed away recently, so all I can say is for you to learn all you can from the different sites on the web about meth and where to go for help. There are experts here who have been and are where you are who will offer great advice and support. Did you say you have only seen him once in seven months? and that was recently? how do you know he is clean? Is he telling you? Sounds like he's running out of places to go and unless he is on a road to recovery, personally I would not take him back and go back thru all that hell meth addiction causes. Is their life after meth? You are about to get a lot of answers real soon, but first you consider your life and the lives and well being of your children. This just comes to me from the heart. I hate to think of all the pain my daughter-in-law went thru thinking my son would quit for good and giving him chance after chance. But his death was due to him trying to come off of the stuff by himself and overmedicating. If you want to be supportive, tell him you will be there when he is clean, if the two of you agree that's what you want (to preserve your family) and until then you must go on with your life. A lot of this I have learned on the different websites. I never in my life thought I would be right here talking to someone about this subject, but God must know what he's doing cause I have received a lot of help and you will too. You will be making a lot of tough decisions, but you stay strong ,learn all you can and TOUGH LOVE WORKS> Your friend, Pat


Charlie -
   I am so sorry you are living this bad dream. I would not wish it on my worse enemy. I have been on this same road for about a year and a half now, but I have been marred to my husband for 21 years and he started using when he was 42 years old. we have 5 children together and this has wiped out a whole family. As far as your question, Is there life after myth? I wish I could tell you yes, but I have not found it yet for my husband or myself. The best thing I can tell you to do is take one step at a time and take care of yourself and your children. One thing I have learned is meth is much stronger than love of a family, stronger then your health, stronger then the power of god, and stronger then love. Take care of yourself.

S -
   If he's put on weight, he's almost certainly cleaned up.
   Two years of meth use, 7 months heavy? That's not very long, compared to a lot of the former addicts posting here (myself included). I think that if I had cleaned up at that point, I could have done it more quickly, and without even a fraction of the hell that I've been through. Mind you, I used for 10 years, and spent the final 2 years burning through quantities that could kill someone who hadn't built up tolerance already.
   Be safe - administer drug tests. Be open about it - make it a condition he has to agree to. Take care of yourself and your kids first and foremost. If you see him relapse, don't give him ANY slack, boot him out immediately. Good luck

texas -
   Of course there is life after meth. it's what you make of it that counts. it can be better, or it can be worse.
    Hey - he looks healthy, staying with people he trusts (and you trust)....but it's you who has to trust him. I have been away for 7 weeks now and we are going through counseling because I just can't trust him. I want to so badly, but he broke that...and he has to rebuild it.
   It's a long road - just be prepared. It's not all wine & roses because he says he has quit. Also know that all the attention is usually focused on the addict and you are left with you hands in the air saying "what in the world happened here". Like you , I knew nothing of drugs and felt he used that to his advantage. Look at the pictures on crystealrecovery.com soon. Little things will make sense. Hang in there, gain knowledge and you too will become strong. We are here for you.

Tammy -
   Wife n mother, you are the only one that can decide what you have to do. Just remember that the happiness of you and your children are JUST as important as his happiness. You are the only one that can be responsible for your own happiness, and the same goes for him. You didn't make this problem, and you can't fix this problem. No matter how much love you have for him, love isn't enough when it comes to battling meth. In my opinion, you should stay on the path that you are already on, and move forward with your life. He will catch up when and if he gets ready to. God bless.

wife n mother -
   I thank you all so much for your reply's!
   I was getting on with my life and taking care of things very well...now that he is showing improvement, my ice cold heart is melting. I guess hope is creeping back in.
   I spent the day with him and he was the same man I once knew...Just didn't think that was possible. SO...now I am right back to having feelings again, wish I could stay the ice-cold bitch I was few months ago...It was working so well...lol
   Thanks again all of you.


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Life After Meth Issues & Topics


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