KCI The Anti_Meth Site

What does a meth buzz feel like?

lisag45	What does a meth buzz feel like? I've recently been 'reunited' with my ex, just as friends so far, and am trying to understand his meth use. While in our relationship, many years ago, his problem was alcohol & painkillers. As a result, he was often 'out of his head'; falling down, blacking out, verbally/mentally abusive, etc. I know now that some of this came from age, immaturity, personality, etc, as well as the alcohol/drugs. So, now he has given up the alcohol & pills. For the past 5-6 years, he has primarily been using meth, snorting it. We have only been in contact again for about a month and I have been around when he is using. I don't see the obvious effects, like I would when he was drinking and using pills; that 'growing' buzz. I have read 'How a Meth Addict Thinks and Feels', which was extremely helpful! But I'm still curious about what kind of buzz happens right/shortly after he does a line. How long does it last? And does the buzz change over the course of however many hours? Or after however many years? I am not noticing any significant change in his demeanor, behavior, etc, over a 2-3 day period of using. Also, he tells me that he uses about a gram in 5 days. I know that any meth use is awful, but how much use is this? I've read about different 'levels' of use and I just wonder where this amount would fall. Like I said, I understand that any meth use is bad...just trying to understand!
Replies...
emilyann farmer	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? Hey Lisa. In my own experience a meth buzz is like this: You smoke and within less than a minute you start to feel slightly dizzy. Then that progresses into the most sickeningly sweet pleasure overload that you could possibly imagine. That lasts for a couple hours and then you're just stuck....wide freakin' awake, not knowing when the hell you're gonna eat or sleep. Hooks you from 'Hello'.
Tender hearts KS	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? *Quote:* I've recently been 'reunited' with my ex, just as friends so far For some reason, I have this visual in my head of you standing at a cross walk, traffic whizzing by, your ex on the other side of the street. The 'do not walk' sign is lit up, and you start to step out into the street. May I ask why you would want him back in your life, and why you would even want to be with him when he is using?
forget suzette	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? well, it has to be fantastic in order for us to loose everything..........and everybody in our life. metaphorically is like trying to see people standing in front of the sun. meth being the sun....it distracts us from our own selves of course we forget about everyone else too. you feel empowered, energetic, full of creativity, sexually charged... .....and while that's going on ...you're screwing everything up. it doesn't help to build a card board shelf.. ...when you SHOULD BE DOING ________. but you think making a card board shelf beats all. dylan said it best. "another evenings empire, has returned into sand, vanished from my hand, left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping"
imlost inky	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? Oh me me me - I know this one !!!!!! *Quote:* But I'm still curious about what kind of buzz happens right/shortly after he does a line. How long does it last? And does the buzz change over the course of however many hours? Or after however many years? I am not noticing any significant change in his demeanor, behavior, etc, over a 2-3 day period of using. and this *Quote:* While in our relationship, many years ago, his problem was alcohol & painkillers. As a result, he was often 'out of his head'; falling down, blacking out, verbally/mentally abusive, etc. Oh yeah! That's me- my life- my dissent into the world of addiction. My husband had been a raging alcoholic for 7 years by the time meth rolled into the picture. It was his gateway drug off the booze- and my life's savior. I loved him on meth- Meth was an awesome improvement over alcohol. Meth made him productive, talkative, loving- omg very loving. A newer improved version- the man of my dreams right there- the answer to my prayers. NO! NO! NO! Now my husband never did get violent on meth- but I tell you what it did. It brought out stupid. Stupid logic, stupid choices, stupid decisions. Meth is the absence of logic and reason. Now your man here is starting out just like he did- just like I did- it is what I called functional. Giving you an improved version of the man you had. It isn't an improvement. It is progressive. as time goes on, he will change. He will not remain this new and improved version- and if he ever has to abruptly quit, like if he gets busted or he has a heart attack or slips into a coma, he will go right back to the alcohol. He may not ever get violent on meth- my husband never did. But you will lose him all the same. You will look in his eyes and just see empty. Meth will become his most beloved. You will cease to exist to him. If you are not careful, You will cease to exist to you. Now *Quote:* But I'm still curious about what kind of buzz happens right/shortly after he does a line. How long does it last? And does the buzz change over the course of however many hours? Or after however many years? Curiosity killed the cat and it damn near killed me. The buzz - first time- head tingling, hair just standing on edge, every nerve in your body alive and jumping. You get the burn first- then comes the drain- it is so nasty- but that's okay because you are alive- on top of the world. It can very quickly appear as the answer to your prayers- a fun time to be had by all. It can kill you - it can make you wish you were dead long before you get your release from this hell. I did meth with him that first go- when it was so much improved from the alcoholic. I have permanent kidney damage now - teeth falling out of my head- I lost a year of my life in a fog- missed my baby's 1st birthday even though I was physically there. The insanity of it all still brings me to my knees and makes me cry. You don't want to know what the buzz feels like- not today, not a month from now, not a year from now. You won't stay functional. No one does. It will cost you more than you ever want to pay. You don't want to go down that road. My advice- until he is ready to seek some serious help for his many addictions and quit working the replacement theory, get away. You don't want to know what we know. It's no game - this is addiction.
Wounded Sparrow	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? *Quote:* I did meth with him that first go- when it was so much improved from the alcoholic. I have permanent kidney damage now - teeth falling out of my head- I lost a year of my life in a fog- missed my baby's 1st birthday even though I was physically there. The insanity of it all still brings me to my knees and makes me cry. T, that made me cry. I've read your story before, and I've read what others have written about it, but those last two sentences knocked me over. I'm so glad you came out of it with an ability and willingness to warn others. God bless
imlost inky	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? Thanks WS- it took me so far from who I am, the person I am, how I really feel.......so quick. I don't ever want to go back- ever be that person again. My family, my life- I don't want to miss anything ever again. That's not me. Meth is not me.
lax2	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? The act of snorting a line physically produces a short burning like feeling (which some of us loved...)... Followed by your brain feeling like it is made up of thousands of LED, light emitting diodes... lighting up one by one till you are FULLY LIT... Then you Feel AHHHHHHHHH... look for something to do/focus your attention on, move a mile a minute, or talk a blue streak... FOR MORE ON WHAT THE METH BUZZ FEELS LIKE...See SUZIES REPLY ABOVE... That pretty much says it all... NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO... DON'T EVER EVEN TRY METH ONCE!!! JUST DON'T!!!!!!! For good measure, I'd stay as far as possible from anyone using meth, INCLUDING YOUR EX...
lax2	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? I certainly can relate to what IMlostINky said too... Much of it is the same as my story, except my partner was never allowed to try it by me... I couldn't and wouldn't do that to him... BUT HE always minded the drunk me more... which ... I always credited the METH with helping me stay "Sober" Misguided or Downright DELUSIONAL thinking is the rule on meth...
SOS 1988	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? if you do it once, you're an addict...I'll tell you what the high is just that good...till years later you find yourself in a miserable, insane, strung out messed up state.
lisag45	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? Just to clarify-I have NO intention of trying meth. I'm just trying to understand what's going on with him. He's been using, about a gram every 5 days now according to him, for about 6 years. Boy, can I relate to your thoughts imlostinky-it does seem like an improvement over the alcohol/pills. Thanks for answering my questions! Thanks for all the replies!
imlost inky	Re: What does a meth buzz feel like? Lisa, it isn't an improvement. It feels that way because he is different than he was as a drunk. He is more aware, more intelligible, more attentive - nicer. But it isn't an improvement. I don't know your man- I know mine. I know my husband on alcohol was hell. I know there were so many times I hated him- just absolutely hated him. Hated for him to come near me, hated the smell of him, hated the sound of his voice, it was hell. When it got so bad I really didn't care anymore if me and our kids were homeless, I would rather be homeless in a cardboard box than to spend one more hour in that home with that drunk hateful disgusting man, he quit drinking. I didn't realize at that time he had already gone to meth- in order to stay awake and drink more. So he gave up the booze, kept the meth, and I thought it was wonderful. What started out as attentive to me became us being attentive to tweaking. We would hang out just long enough to get the bumps going then he would disappear outside to work on the van- and I would disappear to scrub my kitchen walls. Still going come sunrise. Get the kids out the door to school, he would head off to work- that was our ideal of fun time. Yeah. When he returned to meth after 8 years clean, I didn't notice. I had my own stuff going on and I just didn't notice. When the boys came to me, it woke me up. What I saw was heartbreaking. He didn't cheat on me, he didn't abuse me, he didn't do any of the things that I have on my checklist of what makes a bad husband. But he wasn't here Lisa. His body was, he was not. There were no shared memories- I look back, i see pictures of him taken with the grandbabies- blank black eyes, soulless eyes where once was love. There was no love in his eyes- just hollow. It's so hard to put into words. So hard to describe. If your man won't quit, if he won't get some serious help here, don't hang in there hoping. No you may not intend to try it - but you will. Eventually it will be if you can't beat him, join him. All it takes is one moment of what the hell why not- and there you go. Just that quick. Just like that. Just that way- and your life is forever changed and not for the better. Being with an addict takes so much of you if you are not careful- it leaves you so empty. So together alone. The worst loneliness I have ever felt has been when I was in the room with the addict. I missed my husband so horribly -and he was right here in this room, in this house. But HE wasn't here- just a shell. It looks better on the surface- so you think it is better. But it isn't. The time will come when he just won't see you. And you won't recognize the addict before you. His addiction will take you to the lowest point you have ever known. It will leave you vulnerable for your own quick fix. If it is not too late to get away, then get away. Go on never knowing what meth does. There are some lessons in life that you just don't want to learn. You don't want that firsthand experience. If you stay, know that the functional won't last. It won't. It will get worse- a lot worse. This is as good as you will see him until he quits and gets help. This is as good as it will ever be, right now. It's all downhill from here.