silly
veronica |
Abstinence is NOT
Recovery
We've all seen it, we all talk about it --- Abstinence
is NOT recovery. Until the underlying issues are
confronted and resolved, somewhere down the road, those
issues will reappear and the addict will treat those
feelings with some sort of addiction.
Apparently, being that I'm not an addict (of meth
anyway), I don't have the background or experience to
give advice on this one (or so I've been told).
Just hoping a conversation can be started - addicts
opinions and feelings on this, experiences of those who
have thought that abstaining was enough, only to realize
down the road that it's not.
I remember when I first "got it" - when it first sank in
- yes, abstaining is not enough (it's a start), but
until those underlying issues are confronted and worked
through, somewhere, sometime, it will come to bite the
addict in the a$$. |
Replies... |
trying
2bme |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Yes.. I agree 110%
After over 2 and 3/4 years of clean time.... I relapsed.
I used dope to cope with life.. cause that's the only
way I knew how to cope.
I am now going to counseling... working on recovery
rather then abstaining. There is a HUGE difference |
XOutlaw
Woman |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
For me, I was abstaining when I was
drug free but still wanted to do drugs. I was recovered
once I no longer had the desire to do drugs. I abstained
through the first year, while I was learning how to
recover. |
Paws
from
hell |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
I dunno !
But for me abstinence ( not using ) was putting my first
step into action.
The rest just follows ! |
Tender
hearts
KS |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
I threw 4 years clean time/sobriety
out the window in '90. I quit doing everything I had
been doing to stay active in my recovery, except attend
meetings. My body was at meetings, but my mind was
closed off to recovery. I had become terminally unique
again.
I had NOT dealt
with my codependency / sex addiction issues, despite my
sponsor's best efforts.
I continued to hang with the then bf who was in full
blown relapse and slamming. I started hanging at the
local bar, of course under the pretense I was just there
to play pool and drink a Pepsi.
It was only a matter of time.
Thank God I made it back to recovery.
|
Broken
N2 |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Abstinence is the key in the
beginning....right?? I mean it is a HUGE AZZ step
towards recovery...right?
I'm asking?? |
FSOAB |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Maybe abstinence is simply realizing
that whatever your taking is not the magic pill...
One of my guesses.. |
teqa
peq |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Yes Broken it is Essential to
recovery . If we don't abstain then there is no
recovery.
IMHO if we don't deal with our underlying issues we are
bound to fail. I heard this over and over again when I
was new and I guess I had to keep hearing it as I really
didn't think I had issues. I started drinking to have
with my friend and liked it. That progressed to drug
use. The speed was for weight loss and just got out of
hand. However once the clouds lifted from my brain and I
started looking at my behavior it was like "why am i
such an @#%$" Without the drugs and booze I'd get
anxiety because of my own behavior. This would make me
want to use to get rid of that anxiety. I had to look at
why I behaved in the ways I did. And guess what I
discovered. I had issues
My first year was all about abstinence and controlling
my anger. I would have these out burst of anger and then
beat myself up over them. I'd remember telling myself I
was happier when I was using and this just sucks. I went
to 12 step meetings and everyone would say over and over
look beneath the anger. Wow would I get pissed "look
beneath the fing anger what'd think it's like a rug and
i can fing pick it up and look under it" I didn't have
clue. However with time I "got it" I still get angry
however I no longer act like a lunatic.
The most beneficial thing I ever did was explore my
childhood and see where I developed my Self limiting
beliefs.
It was a real eye opener of how I developed these
subconscious beliefs and how I let them run me for
years. |
Lisa |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
What constitutes "recovery" (besides
working the Steps)?
I quit using on January 19, 2006, which means I have
almost thirteen months clean.
I'm not working the steps, I don't go to therapy or
counseling, so I'm not following a "recovery program"
per se.
All I do is read a lot on spirituality, read and post on
the boards, and try to do the right things in my life.
Am I in recovery? I guess 12-Steppers would say no.
However, recovery is a very personal choice...FOR ME, I
started my recovery when I began to abstain from all
mind-altering substances. I continue it by continuing to
abstain and by opening my mind to new and
life-confirming and affirming thoughts and beliefs.
So, I guess it's up to each one of us individually to
seek our own personal form of recovery. |
silly
veronica |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Quote:
I continue it by continuing to
abstain and by opening my mind to new and
life-confirming and affirming thoughts and beliefs.
To me, this IS recovery. It's not
just stopping the use of the substance, but it's taking
it to the next step (whatever that step is - meetings,
counseling, treatment, support groups, reading books,
etc.).
I guess my point is ... stopping the drug and doing
absolutely nothing else ... is that recovery? To me,
that's just abstaining from the drug (and then it will
come back to bite you).
Again, only my opinion. |
Tender
hearts
KS |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Quote:
Abstinence is the key in the
beginning....right?? I mean it is a HUGE AZZ step
towards recovery...right?
Yes it is, Marcel! For me, in the
beginning, a lot of my time was meetings meetings
meetings. People kept telling me 'keep bringing the
body, and eventually the mind will follow'. That was so
true for me.
I did a lot of white-knuckling that first year. My mind
couldn't absorb a lot of the 'recovery-related' stuff I
heard and saw.
I was putting one foot in front of the other at the
suggestions of others, but didn't really start 'working'
recovery as in dealing with issues till after that first
year.
That's when it really hit me that just not
using/drinking wasn't going to cut it. I HAD to start
working on me and what drove me to use/drink all those
years. But I needed that first year of 'abstaining' to
get my brain/body healthy enough to really start working
recovery.
Make any sense? |
eyes
open83 |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
abstinance does not equal recovery
i wrote a thread about this a while ago...all my
thoughts and feeling on it are in that thread |
Broken
N2 |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Ok I am TOTALLY lost...hahahaha
I go into treatment with the thoughts that I will work
on myself and my recovery...heh....but they tell me to
just abstain from all mind altering chemicals.
They say to stuff your feelings about your past or just
put them on an imaginary shelf in your mind...mmmk...and
only focus on today!!
They say it is VERY dangerous to your RECOVERY to work
on these things right now...and possibly ever...so..
Should I abstain or should I recover. .hahahaha...you
peeps confuse the hell outta me!!
I think WAYYYYY to many people worry about other peoples
recovery and how they go about it... When in reality
they should be worried about themselves. Just my
opinion.... |
luve
piphany |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
That's a perfectly logical
observation and opinion about the program. It's all
about you right now-take what you want and Need and
leave the rest. That's the wonderful way of the 12 step
program. It's yours to do with as you will.
|
Tender
hearts
KS |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Marcel...I was born in a state of
confusion...from which I have never recovered! |
deee
CA |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Hmmmm... should I open mouth and
insert foot now or later?
So I will ABSTAIN from talking about myself here...
My mom was an alcoholic for at least 10 years. Hardcore
alcoholic. Then at 27 she just stopped. She didn't want
me and my brother to see her like she saw her mother.
She hasn't touched a drink in 25 years. During those
years she became very athletic - now does triathlons and
iron mans. BTW- she's never ever went to an AA meeting,
she told me she found "recovery" through a good diet and
exercise.
So would you say that she never was in recovery? That
she did not 'recover' from her problem with addiction?
That abstinence was not enough for her?
Love to hear your thoughts... |
Penel0pe |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Quote:
What constitutes "recovery"
(besides working the Steps)?
Learning HEALTHY ways to cope with
life and emotions without having to resort to drugs when
life rears it's ugly head.
Working the steps are ONE WAY to learn how to cope with
life through spiritual and self awareness, learning to
be more selfless and less selfish.
But there are other ways.. I only know how to do it one
way, so that's all I have to offer.
As Sfj has said lots of times, "There are as many ways
to recover as there are ways to get high."
I like 12 step, but it certainly isn't the only option.
|
Tender
hearts
KS |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Quote:
BTW- she's never ever went to an
AA meeting
I see, said he blind man as he
picked up his hammer and saw
|
deeeCA |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
You didn't answer my question
tenderheart! |
Tender
hearts
KS |
Re: Abstinence is NOT Recovery
Quote:
You didn't answer my question
tenderheart!
Damn, you caught that!
Dee, I love you like a sister.
I don't think it's a coincidence you posted about your
mother and what she's done so soon after you posted
about not being motivated to attend meetings anymore
I know what works for me.
Obviously something different has worked for your
mother.
As has been previously said, there are as many ways to
recover as there are to get high.
What worked for your mom won't work for me.
What works for me may not work for someone else.
That's the best answer I can give you, my dear!
(((hugs))) |
