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Recovering addicts and the loved one of
the addict help each other
amart
1279 |
The recovering addict and
the loved one of the addict.....
fairly new to this site and new to
recovery.....I'm recovering from a very brief stint with meth
and recovering from an addiction to my husband, a meth addict of
two years.......forgive this question if it is naive.
On this site are so many meth addicts, recovering addicts, and
family/friends of addicts....are we all in the same category or
is there an unspoken line drawn between them? I love this site
dearly and have come to rely on it just a few short days, but
wonder if there are boundaries not to cross when addressing an
addict when I am a loved one affected by addiction or vice
versa. Does that make any sense? Hoping there's not an us vs.
them mentality, but also hoping that if there are unspoken
"groups" I don't offend anyone while I'm here.
I fear this came out all wrong. Hope this was taken the way it
was intended. |
| Replies... |
sickids
gurl |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
I thought more about this and thought I would
explain why I believe there are no lines. Just treat others as
you would like to be treated is a good rule though.
I think the addict does have something to offer to the loved
ones of addicts we ( the addicts ) help the loved ones better
understand what their loved one is feeling and has gone through.
And the loved ones can help the addicts too by telling their
story of what they have went through or asking questions about
the user in their lives it reopens the eyes to what we used to
be and how we have hurt our own loved ones.
I think we are therapeutic to each other and go hand and hand in
our recovery. |
| TerryCa |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
Hello! That's a point blank question, I have
found here many addicts don't want the non-user giving advice on
how to stay clean. Or act as if they (non-user) knows how a user
feels (really feels).
Then you'll get the other side, the families that say the
addicts don't know how the families really feel while the user
is using and/or in recovery.
But, these are minor irritations (imo) and I feel it doesn't
mean you cannot respond to any or all posts.
I just try to treat others the way I want to be treated. I like
to try support people here as well as get support.
Others will be along whom will give you more ideas, thus this is
how the board works imo. |
amart
1279 |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
Quote:
I have found here many addicts don't want the non-user giving
advice on how to stay clean. Or act as if they (non-user) knows
how a user feels (really feels).
I think that's what my fear is. I've spent so long trying to
"fix" my husband with advice from my point of view, always
trying to keep sight of not REALLY knowing what he feels or the
battles he fights, so I am so willing to jump in on the addicts'
questions. I guess I know and we all know what perspective we're
coming from and that's probably why this board works so well.
I also tend to think I have a unique perspective on things since
I was headed towards addiction and lost myself in it for a solid
month (although again, i know that is nothing compared to most
on here) as well as was a victim of my husbands addiction as
well.
If nothing else, this board is very cathartic eh? Even just
writing out our rambling thoughts, even if no one responds,
seems to be more therapeutic than just journaling. After all, I
think in some shape or form addict or loved one, we all just
want to be heard.
Thanks for listening. Hope to get to know you all so much more. |
| TerryCa |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
Quote:
If nothing else, this board is very
cathartic eh? Even just writing out our rambling thoughts,
even if no one responds, seems to be more therapeutic than
just journaling. After all, I think in some shape or form
addict or loved one, we all just want to be heard
Well, hopefully the board is more then the
mere writing out our rambling thoughts here. It's real people
listening and caring.
And as far as just getting thoughts down on paper, maybe for
some that is why their here. For me it's reaching into myself
and being vulnerable and sharing my insecurities and life and
trusting others with the information.
Hopefully this site will be helpful to you to.
<<<Hugs to you>> |
amart
1279 |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
This site has already done wonders. Its
amazing how similar yet different everyone is. What a relief to
know people have lived my hell, can help me through it, and I
can do the same for them. It's Good Stuff |
Naiev
Newlywed |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
If there has ever been any 'forbidden'
questions, I've asked them all!
Don't be afraid to ask the recovering addicts here questions.
Just remember - from what I've learned - the dope affects people
differently - so depending on the question - you may get
different answers, and you may now know which "why" relates to
your husband. You'll get an idea, but one's experience is not
the same an another's.
Again - I'm glad you're here. |
Jamie
J1979 |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
I'm a recovering addict and the loved one of
a addict. My boyfriend of 4 years is a addict like myself. We
used to do drugs together until I got into outpatient treatment
and found out I was pregnant. I'm nine months pregnant, my due
date is this Sunday November 5th. He is in outpatient treatment
and on methadone for his heroin addiction. We both have dual
addictions to heroin and stimulants like cocaine and speed. He
is still struggling with using upper's even though he's in
treatment and whatnot. He isn't working a recovery program
really. He shows up for treatment and his methadone dose but
he's not attending a support group and he isn't doing one on one
counseling. He is getting on Antabuse to help combat the cocaine
and speed cravings. The treatment center requires a blood test
prior to getting on Antabuse and he just left a blood sample
last Saturday so hopefully when the results come back he can
start taking the Antabuse within the next week or so. I've see
die hard users that did cocaine or speed daily either stop
completely or cut down to using only once a week and even then
they were using because they were hanging with people that used.
They weren't having overwhelming cravings that were making them
go out and look for the drug. I really hope the Antabuse helps
him.
Currently he stays off the dope for anywhere from 5-7 days and
then uses for 1-2 days to satisfy the cravings and then goes
without using for another 5-7 days until the cravings come back
once again. He uses to use daily, so did I. When I first tried
to quit I went through the same thing. I would refrain from
using for a week then use and the go another whole week before
using again. I was making progress as far as not using daily but
I got stuck in a rut using once a week. The reason a person does
this is because their body is so used to having the substance in
it that once the body clears itself of the toxin the body goes
crazy craving for more of the drug to be normal. I'm taking
trace amounts that linger after a addict has come down from
their high, this is what I'm talking about. Once those small
traces leave the body the addict starts craving like mad.
Anyways I'm not living with my guy because of his addiction. We
see each other and talk daily and he spends the night a once or
twice a week. Lately he's been around the house more because I
could go into labor at any time and we want to be together when
the baby comes. Still I'm not counting on his completely because
I don't let him around me when he's high or coming down. So if
he's using that day I go into labor he won't be there because he
won't be at my house to travel to the hospital with me and I
won't want to have him meet me at the hospital if he's all
tweaked out.
I also have codependency issues that I'm starting to address and
I really appreciate the advice and support I receive here. I
don't really come here for advice on my drug addiction recovery
because I attend a support group and I'm in outpatient
treatment. I come here for support in dealing with my addict
boyfriend. If I was struggling and needed advice I would
probably appreciate it from whoever was giving it as long as
they tried to relate to me as much as possible. |
| JUSTCATS |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
Quote:
If there has ever been any
'forbidden' questions, I've asked them all!
Me too! You can ask the addicts anything, and
they answer it as well as they can. Everybody is sooo cool
around here.
Just be considerate of others feelings, but that doesn't mean,
that you fear asking questions. If you are afraid that someone
may be offended, I always mention, that I have a question, that
I don't mean, for it to come out in a bad way...
~exfiance is an addict |
| le grumps |
Re: The recovering addict
and the loved one of the addict...
Funny I just saw this thread after posting on
the "I am glad you loved ones are here" thread.
This is a place where the addicts and loved ones are not "at
odds". Occasionally a person will get ruffled if they feel like
they aren't being understood, but generally if you ask something
or say something that people don't agree with, they will be
pretty straight up (not mean) about what exactly the disagree
with.
And of course, there have been a lot of very interesting,
sometimes heated discussions that in my opinion are really
productive.
At any rate, welcome! Make yourself at home, there is plenty of
room! |
See also:
The Brain Chemistry of Being a Loved One
How to support an addict without sounding sorry?
Hard time having compassion for the addict
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