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Help! I think husband is using Meth again!


iahusker
fan
Help!! I think hubby is using meth again!!
Hello all.  I am new to this message board. And after reading a lot of posts from others on this board I think this may be a place where I can get advice. A little history here to help you all understand. About 10 years ago my husband and I both had bad meth and coke problems. We cleaned up on our own without any kind of rehab. I have remained clean for almost 10 years now but my husband has relapsed several times and I think he has again. About a year ago he admitted to me that he had been using again for about 2 years. He went back to work and everything was great!! The mood swings had stopped, our financial situation got better and things were back to normal. Now he's back out of work, hanging around his drug buddies again, money is coming up missing with no explanations, some of the moodiness is back, etc, etc. Here are some of the signs I am seeing again, Like I said the money missing with no explanations, some mood swings, some times of being paranoid, when he was using before he would over analyze things, that is happening again. Some of the tell tale signs that are not there is he is sleeping almost every night or at least I think he is I work night but when I get home in the morning he is usually sleeping, and he does eat meals. But after one of his trips to his friends he does act strange for a while. He still eats but not quite like normal, and he usually sleeps but he also spends a lot of time in our garage which is detached from the house and seems to have more energy than normal. But then after a matter of days or even close to a week those patterns stop and he spends a lot of time in our bedroom, eating more than normal, and gets moody, depressed, and sometimes very grumpy all of this continues until he can go see his friends again which is usually after I get paid and he has gas money to go (we live 50 miles from where his friends are). Then the other pattern starts again. I go through this with him every 2 weeks. The first week after I get paid and he can go to his friends he's in a great mood and very energetic and acting strange again. Then the second week after he's blown all of his money the other mood sets in. If he is using again I think he's limiting it for now anyway to try to throw me off so I don't find out or I'm being paranoid because of the people he's hanging around again. When I mention it that I think he's using again he tells me I'm crazy and there is no way he is doing it again and he cannot believe that I would even think of it again. Why can't I just let the past go? These are all of his comments. Which some of them make me even more suspicious. When that show was on National geographic about meth I tried to get him to watch it with me stating I wanted to learn more about this because of our 2 teenage daughters. He wouldn't even look at it. He went out into the garage and stayed away from me most of the night. I watched it and in some parts felt like they were talking about him. In the way he acts sometimes. Being a former user myself it's sometimes easier to detect a user but he is really good at hiding things. We have been married for 17 years and I love him with all my heart I want to see him get help if the problem does still exist. I don't know what to do!!! This is all taking a bad toll on me emotionally and financially. If anyone has advice please email me privately. It is easier for me to respond via email than here. I seem to be limited on how many posts I can read per day.
     Replies...
silly
veronica
Re: Help!! I think hubby is using meth again!!
Welcome to the board. I understand you preferring personal emails over postings on this board, but I don't give out my email until I know people better.

It sounds to me like you already know the answer. Given the information you've shared, I would say yes, he is using. My addict was able to eat and sleep when the rest of the family did, and his addiction went quite awhile unnoticed.

The fact that your husband has relapsed before would lead me to believe that he has abstained from his use in the past, but has never dug deeper and actually resolved the underlying issues that caused him to use in the first place - THAT is what real, long lasting recovery is about.

Hope you stick around the board ... (oh and I'm from Iowa too - not sure if that's what your username represents?)
JamieJ
1979
Re: Help!! I think hubby is using meth again!!
I'm a recovering addict and my guy is a addict. We used to do dope together. I'm clean and pregnant. Anyways your guy sounds like mine. He would spend more time tinkering on projects in the basement. He had a bit more energy. He was still sleeping and eating though. When he would come down he would spend time in the bedroom sleeping, eating, being grumpy. My guy uses cocaine which doesn't last a long time like meth so it's easier to hide in my opinion although I always know. We aren't living together because of this crap. He stays off the stuff for 5-7 days and then uses for 1-2 before repeating the pattern and not using for a week then using for 1-2 days blah blah blah. He's been on this kind of routine for awhile. You know what's up, listen to your gut.
iahusker
fan
Re: Help!! I think hubby is using meth again!!
Yes I will stay around the board. I understand about the personal emails. That is fine with me. Right now I could use all the support I can get. This is absolutely crushing me emotionally!! After watching the show on NG I really got scared for him. Seeing those people and what this stuff can really do. I feel fortunate that I got totally away from using before the really strong stuff came out like there is now. I know I'm fooling myself if I think he's still clean. Someone who wrote to me privately suggested getting a home test and asking him to take it. That will tell me for sure. I do have one question though. How long does the stuff stay in your system after the last time you use?? I mean to where it will show up in a UA! That way I have an idea when to spring it on him when it is most likely it will show up if he really is using. Well thank you to all who are responding to me. I will be around as much as I can. I work nights so I sleep during the day and it's hard to use the computer when my kids are home.
One last thing yes my username does indicate that I am in Iowa.
Hugs to you all,
no more
mething
around
Re: Help!! I think hubby is using meth again!!
Hi ...another Iowan here !

I agree with them....sounds like he's using again. You know what's up.
They try to make us think we're just nuts or something.

Stick around, this is a great support system for you.
silly
veronica
Re: Help!! I think hubby is using meth again!!
Quote:
How long does the stuff stay in your system after the last time you use??
3-4 days.

See also:

Help, husband using meth again!

Same story, different people - husband using meth

I think my husband continues to use Meth

Husband quit meth; when will he stop being angry?


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