KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Home  |  Meth Topics  |  Letters & Stories  |  Message Board  |  Slang Names  |  Anti-Meth Sites  |  Cleaning up Labs  |  Physical Damage  |   Resources for Teachers  |  Research Articles  |  Recommend Reading  |  SEARCH






What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?


click
mom
What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
My bf is supposedly 10 days clean, he's been going to an outpatient treatment program for the last 3 days...

He's been grouchy, which I've expected...and I know he can't kick all this within a matter of days, even weeks or maybe even months...I know this logically. Of course my emotions want him to at least show that he's making some improvement, yet I don't see any. Maybe improvement isn't he right word...more like him really wanting this. Granted he is going and he looks good when I see him after, I think the groups REALLY help. He even said he still wants to get high REALLY bad, and they talk about it in the groups. But he gets to my house after, and he's just a mean ol grouch.

Today I am worried because he gets paid and its Friday. I asked him what his plan is so that he won't get tempted and he says he doesn't know...and seemed like he didn't care. So, I'm not sure if he will relapse today or not.

What can I realistically expect from him during this time? Is he going to relapse a lot? Is he going to be mean? Is he going to just shut down? For how long?

I have so many questions...
     Replies...
Loraura Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
Quote:
Of course my emotions wants him to at least show that he's making some improvement, yet I don't see any. Maybe improvement isn't he right word...more like him really wanting this.

Things usually get worse before they get better. Sometimes, much worse.
If things got better when an addict quit -- they wouldn't be an addict!
It's the fact that it's worse, much worse, without using that keeps them using!

No one WANTS to feel like crap, physically or emotionally.
Meth is very alluring because it IS a fabulous anti-depressant! It is a cure for the depression that it causes! If it didn't have such horrible side effects, no one would ever WANT to quit.
The pain of continuing to use has to be MORE than the pain of abstaining for the addict to make it through those early months.

Sometimes that pain is intangible to both the user, and their loved ones.

click
mom
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
I see. So, because he's hasn't felt much pain from actually using (example: has a roof over his head, has a job, can use his mom's car at will, has food) he might actually not want to stay quit...
Sfj Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
If he is going to an outpatient program, be thankful.
Realistically, at this point, it is all you can expect. Give him encouragement for doing that.

If he settles in to a good routine with treatment, he may want to consider 12-step meetings at some point. Pushing him to do so however, will often backfire. You can make an encouraging comment, but try to avoid being pushy or controlling.

I also suggest reading Cassandra's posts.
Loraura Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
Quote:
What can I realistically expect from him during this time? Is he going to relapse a lot? Is he going to be mean? Is he going to just shut down? For how long?

Expect nothing that HE doesn't co-sign. Seriously, setting expectations for him will likely cause you to be frustrated and angry.

If he sets expectations for himself, then I would suggest that you support him in his efforts.

But taking away all of your own expectations, and just accepting what the outcome is, will prevent a lot of frustration on your part.

The other questions you asked have different answers for every addict. I'm sorry. I know you want answers so you can feel prepared and have some security in "knowing". Unfortunately, there just ARE no answers in advance to those types of questions, in my opinion.

click
mom
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?

He is doing some sort of 12 step groups along with the outpatient treatment...its a requirement. Its also a requirement that he gets tested while he's there for two weeks. If he fails it, he has another chance. If he keeps failing, then he gets kicked out. He's going to a program called Life Ring.

I understand not being pushy, but really sometimes isn't it what someone needs to wake the hell up?

luve
piphany
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
Yes Clickmom, it is, but it's usually not what a loved one needs to do to get some peace and happiness. It's such a frustrating but very real fact that the more a loved one pushes, the sicker and more miserable they (the loved one) become.

Many people find peace and some serenity in the 12 step programs for loved ones of those in recovery-Alanon, Naranon and Coda are all support groups for you and all of us who have alcohol and drug addiction in our family and friend's lives.

The family support forum is under the community tab on the top of the home page and there is a wonderful moderator and lots of people who share your h3ll
forget
suzette
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
Quote:
What can I realistically expect from him during this time? Is he going to relapse a lot? Is he going to be mean? Is he going to just shut down? For how long?

everyone knows, anything goes.
......it depends on how hard he hit bottom when he quit.
if it wasn't a major extravaganza of loss and pain........he'll go back.
I agree with lorauora's 1st reply.
.....no one wants to feel like crap...and they won't forever.
it's like he's holding his breath, waiting to breathe.....speed is that breath.
I moved so I couldn't get to it.....I was angry for a year......and still not completely balanced even tho I see a shrink
this is a long, hard, endless battle.
...do you really want to do this?

good luck.

le
grumps
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
Quote:
I understand not being pushy, but really sometimes isn't it what someone needs to wake the hell up?
In my opinion, not really. Being pushy, or even "encouraging with an agenda", is something that can turn an addict off from being open with loved ones.

When I was quitting, and beginning recovery, I hated the idea that I was having to change for the sake of other people's sanity. Why do /I/ have to change? Why are /my/ actions the bad ones? Why must /I/ do all this stuff like go to meetings and groups for the sake of what /other people/ consider to be health? I wanted to feel good, and I wanted my RIGHT to feel good!

I don't know if other addicts here felt this way, but I felt like attacking my drug use was an attack on me personally. I was extremely sensitive to how people interacted with me. I remember my dad renting me a storage room when I was going to rehab to put my crap in there. The entire time I was extremely grouchy, angry, and rude, even though I did appreciate his help. It was like one "false" move from him, and I would feel like this powerless child who was not in control of my life. And that made me angry, and made me want to b*tch him out and go my own way. My friend was there too, and I asked her if I was acting unreasonable, and she said YES... your poor dad is just trying to help you and he's being really cool about it, too.

Good lord, I do not miss feeling like that!

If he is not "seeing the benefits" yet of being clean, it probably means that he is still conceding "himself" in his mind. He is probably resenting the fact that he needs to change, even though he knows deep down that he does have to change.

No one likes to be "wrong". And when an addict finds out that how they have been managing their lives is "wrong", it can sometimes be a hard thing to accept, especially since making it "right" is such an emotional investment. It's really hard to make things "right" when we are so used to our mal-adaptive behaviors.

The fact that he is attending outpatient rehab and meetings is *HUGE*. I agree with Sfj, that is a major point where you can be encouraging to him. He may feel patronized if you ask him everyday what he learned, or if it looks like you are vulturing over his progress.

But asking him how he is doing, telling him you are proud of him for taking care of business, and trying to bring something to the table in terms of your own appreciation and stability in your *own* life will help him have something to "work" with.

I know it's hard, it's a balancing act that is feels nearly impossible. But the benefits for both of you will come if you guys can just stick it out..

I hope this was somewhat helpful to you, I know it was long...
click
mom
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
thank you le grumps for that post. I think I see what you are saying.

I just talked to him tonight and yep, I was right, he used again. He said he felt so crappy, he just "had" to. I didn't yell, didn't say I knew it. Just said why? Said, you have now set yourself back to start all over again.

So, now what should I do? He's coming over tonight and I really don't know how to react. Do I just act like nothing has happened? Do I try to talk to him again?

He did say he went to a meeting today...though he didn't go to his group again. Is it even helpful to go to a meeting when you are high?

He mentioned to me the other day that when he goes to these groups or meetings that he feels like his reward should be to go get high. 
le
grumps
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
Awww, that's a bummer that he got high again!

I think I am a little late in responding to this, but when you see him, definitely acknowledge that it did happen, but try to steer his focus to the future. 10 days is good, and he can go far past 10 days if he just lets the shitty part of quitting meth run it's course.

He really reminds me of myself when I was trying to quit.

If he went to a meeting even though he got high, well that can be a good sign. Anyone is welcome to come to a meeting, even if they are high. I'm guessing that if he went on his own motivation, then he is probably feeling some shame because he used again. Does it seem like he's a little ashamed?

There was a time when I was in "limbo", right before early recovery. I would quit using, last a few days, then use again. Through all that time I was going to meetings and an outpatient program. I wanted to quit, but it was so hard to stick it out through the withdrawals. But I did stay close to the program, and eventually I did what I had to do to STAY away from meth.

But yeah, I would go to outpatient, and be so excited about my "progress" that I would.... go out and use.

But it was so critical that I stuck around anyway, because it kept real recovery within sight, I just had to move toward it. Recovery won't meet us halfway.

Let him know that you are sad that he used again. But tell him to stay close to his meetings, and his outpatient. That they are the folks who can help him feel better. He just needs to push himself to keep coming back.

I really hope the best for you.
luve
piphany
Re: What can I expect from my meth addict in outpatient treatment?
grumps, you wrote some of the most revealing answers to my question as to why the addict doesn't seem to feel any appreciation whatsoever to those who love and help him/her. Thank you! Clickmom - I bet that helped a lot. I'm sorry he used, but yes, if he was planning on going to another meeting-that is courage in action! He will be taken care of in meetings-I mean that his guilt and frustration will be soothed just by being in a room with people he is obviously feeling a little accountable to. He must feel something for himself to want to go to a meeting and seek help. Did you say you had been to meetings with him? If so, then you know that his fellow addicts / alchies will support him on his path and you can step back and cheer from the sidelines in your own way.

grumps, you're a hero to me today

See also:

An Intensive Outpatient Treatment Model

Meth Rehab - Inpatient vs. Outpatient Treatment

How much time does outpatient rehab require per day?


Back to Crystal Meth & Methamphetamine Questions, Answers & Advice


THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern.


HOME  |  ABOUT US  | PRIVACY POLICY  |  CONTACT US  |  SEARCH

Copyright 1999-2017 by KCI The Anti-Meth Site
All Rights Reserved
Legal Disclaimers and Copyright Notices