Should I use "Before/After" meth pictures on my husband?

Hi everyone? I was looking at my husband today and thinking how old he is looking. He is going really bald and the thinness looks bad on him.
Any, way I was thinking of putting up a big picture of a meth user before and after in our closet or his storage room. Does anyone think he will get offended?
He is only 27. He used to be so fine. Plus, I worry about him because his teeth are rotting and he has an irregular heart beat.

Yes, he will get offended at a picture hanging.

It's bad enough for us to talk civilly to them to let them know what they are doing to their brains and body, they feel like they are being attacked when we do stuff like that. When I smoked and drank I would have gotten furious if someone used this tactic to 'open my eyes.' Seems like a low blow.

Perhaps it would have better results if you put a picture of him there instead- a before and after?

Will he get offended? Yes. I think he will.
Or he could be like my husband- he actually thought at the time he was using he looked better.

It is only now that he has been clean for so long that he sees and feels the damage meth left behind

Meth takes so much more than it gives.

Quote:

Does anyone think he will get offended?

Not only will he absolutely get offended, he'll get pissed off.

I wouldn't have worked for me. He needs outside help.

In my humble opinion,
lori

He does think he looks better? But he doesn't realize he's starting to look like freddy kruegar with blue eyes. Plus its gross because he wants me to have sex with him looking like that? All I could imagine is freddy kruegar with rotten teeth.

Quote:

He does think he looks better?

Yes, he does. Meth distorts reality- it makes you believe you are better , everything is better with meth.

It isn't until you come off of it that you realize what a lie that is-
and then you see Freddy Kruger with blue eyes and rotten teeth
Pity- He will really regret that - teeth are expensive to correct and horrible excruciating pain until you do.

I know- says she as she pops yet more advil...........
and prays for a home equity loan so she can fix her husband's teeth so he won't look like a methhead.
Out of everything, that hurts me the worse- physically and emotionally.
Visible proof of bad choices.

Sorry I can't help you any better than this- just know you are not alone-

You all are right. But it was just a thought. I was really grossed out. He's been really nice lately trying to hide his addiction. I wouldn't want to ruin that.
I just saw him and he brought me flowers and he said " aren't you going to say I look good?" I said "you look wonderful." But you know what I was thinking.
Before you think that was sweet of him to bring the flowers. He bought them to cover up the money he took out to buy more meth. They were cheap 5 dollar flowers. But I have been holding back because one thing I have learned while being here it doesn't do any good to say anything.
I don't know why he's being nice though. Usually he is a total dick. Its starting to scare me.

Like you said, he's probably being nice hoping that he's hiding his addiction.

It is hard to hold back and bite your tongue. We want to get in their faces and scream and make them understand how this drug is affecting them and us and our children and everyone who cares about them.

But it hasn't done any good yet, it won't do any good tomorrow.

Best thing to do is learn to take care of yourself. They are not going to see that all your needs are met, so you have to.

You may consider putting money aside. I didn't and my husband broke us and left us owing thousands, more than we could ever hope to pay back. I didn't think he would do that to us, but he did.

My husband when using would buy me something - usually plants - that way he could buy his guilt free.
After all I did get something.
Quote:

I don't know why he's being nice though

He's using, he is happy, all is right with the world.
Quote:

Its starting to scare me.

What goes up must come down- laws of gravity.

You know as nice as he is at this moment, there is another side to him that is just moments, hours, days at best away.

Bushbaby- Look in the phonebook now for the abused Women's shelter emergency number.
Please have it ready-
You never know until it is too late just how bad it can get.
I'd really hate for something bad to happen to you.

There is a better life to be had. I sure wish it would come your way.
I wish you could find the courage you need to find it.
Somehow, some way........

I took over the money. I have been saving like crazy. He has direct deposit through his work so as soon as his money comes in I pay all the bills and set them aside. Then I tell him we only have so much money in the bank because I paid all the bills, blah , blah. Then he goes to the bank and withdraws money and he's happy.
I opened up my own checking account. As soon as the ATMs and checks come, I will take out the overdraft protection on our account and transfer most of the money in there. I have to leave some or he will have a cow.
As soon as I get a better job I'm out. It's expensive to live here in San diego. And hard as hell to get welfare or anything like that. I tried that route once when I was trying to leave.
So my only plan now is to save, put my kids in daycare so I can keep my job, then find a better job so I could support myself. He'll probably beat the @#%$ out of me once or twice but it's the best plan I got for right now.

Possible better plan

Maybe???
I know here- when I was ready to say enough and leave my husband years back, I could not get help because he did not beat me.
I know they have rental assitance, housing, educational assistance, child care- all kinds of help available if my husband had hit me.

Worth a look into wouldn't you think?

You may not survive the next beating- and as your husband, he would automatically get custody of your kids.
Now that is scary.

I looked at rental assistance, 5 year waiting list here.
Welfare, you have to practically be living on the streets to apply.
Child care I have applied for. 2 year waiting list.
I have already applied for all these things.
How do these people get on welfare here?

And I tried calling a womand shelter for the abuse and I had to be on welfare. She said the rent was 300 a month but I couldn't leave for work or anything for a year. I asked " then how do I pay for the rent". She said," all of the women here are on welfare." I was like, " a @#%$, I'll call you back."

Go through the Domestic abuse services.
While you may not qualify for assistance through the Federal government, the abuse shelters have a seperate funding, more resources.
Also, if you are in a shelter for abused women, you take priority on housing and assistance.
Worth talking to them about.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
They are better able to do more for you than food stamps.

Just give them a call, see what your options are through them, and think about it - at least consider it.
Better safe than sorry.

There is more than one shelter on that list.
Call them all.