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Boyfriend uses meth, I want to quit


aliyah4
 
Boyfriend uses meth, I want to quit

I'm new here so please bear with me. I have no one I can really talk to or turn to and happen to stumble upon this site. Hopefully there's someone out there that can relate.
Any suggestions or comments welcomed.

My Story:
I have been using ice off on on for 4 yrs now. It wasn't until I got with my new boyfriend that I see myself using it more frequently than before, this is not say that I blame him for my habit. That is clearly my choice. The only hard drugs I've seen him do is pot and a few pills. He is against ice, but yet he will get them for me and does it with me....sometimes without me and lies about it afterwards asking why I'm questioning him when I'm obviously the addict here.When we first started smoking it together it was great, but in time our relationship start to suffer from the use. He's constantly yelling and getting angry at me for minor things that use to never bother him before. One minute everythings fine, next thing I know he's cursing at me. In my heart I knew I had to make a choice it was either I had to quit or sit back and watch my relationship deteriot. After much thought I finally decided to admit to him that I was addicted and need his help to quit. Instead of being supportative of my decision he pushed me away saying all kinds of hurtful words. It's real hard for me to try and stay away from it especially when he's still using and bringing friends by the house whos using. I have tried everything I can think of to keep this relationship from falling apart but it seems like no matter how hard I try he's going to find something else that is wrong. Its gotten to the point where I feel like heck he doesn't care so why should I. I have been tempted to go out and get me a little something for myself...at least when I'm using I feel no pain...I really don't want to go back to using but it seems like I have nothing else to loose.
I don't know what else to do...please help!!!

     Replies...
Time
ToHeal

 
Re: Boyfriend uses meth, I want to quit

First of all congratulations for reaching out for help. So are you saying that your boyfriend is against ice, but is using ice? And he's not going to quit using even though you made the decision to quit doing it? Sorry if I'm a little confused.

I don't know what advice to give, besides the advice that I see most given here, and that is to go to a meeting. A bunch of meetings. It is truly what works for most people to be able to get off the drugs and stay off the drugs.

I know you want to keep your relationship, but I don't see how if he doesn't stop. And you don't need the abuse from him either. Have you asked him to quit?
 

danimal
55

 
Re: Boyfriend uses meth, I want to quit

Welcome aliyah4! You're registered, good sign, that means you'll be around here regularly, right? Do it! You need the support and understanding that abounds here, you certainly won't be getting it from that meathead you call "boyfriend", boy? yes, friend......well, my "friends" would NEVER treat me like that!
You have everything to lose aliyah, you're a living, breathing, miracle of life! You are one of a kind and unique in your own special way, I'm sure your true friends and family will agree with me there, I know that our friends here do! You need help and boyfriend is'nt the answer, drugs are'nt the answer. Keep coming to this site and you will get the answers, they won't always be what you want to hear, not always comfortable, not the easier/softer way we would like, but you will get the answers that will save your life and return you to the life you deserve and were designed to live. We're here no matter what, our love and understanding are un-conditional, make this your refuge. I have over 9 months meth free as a result of my participation here, not much to some, an eternity to others.
Regardless, your freedom is at hand, grab hold of us, you'll be amazed! Here's a little something to ponder.

What you are is Gods gift to you.
What you make of yourself is your gift to God.

If you believe or if you doubt, pray! You won't be sorry.


Just
Ol Ma
Re: Boyfriend uses meth, I want to quit

Hon you need to read your post with another pair of eyes...here use mine...

 Quote:


He is against ice, but yet he will get them for me and does it with me....sometimes without me and lies about it afterwards asking why I'm questioning him when I'm obviously the addict here.


Why of course it is obvious you are the addict there...then he doesn't have to look at himself.

Quote:


After much thought I finally decided to admit to him that I was addicted and need his help to quit. Instead of being supportative of my decision he pushed me away saying all kinds of hurtful words.


If he supported your position and decisions then his would no longer be valid to himself.

Nice he is so good at the blame game...turning the faults and mistakes back to you at each step forward you attempt to take.

Quote:


Instead of being supportative of my decision he pushed me away saying all kinds of hurtful words. It's real hard for me to try and stay away from it especially when he's still using and bringing friends by the house whos using.


Quote:


It's real hard for me to try and stay away from it especially when he's still using and bringing friends by the house whos using.



He doesn't want you to quit. If you do he will have to see for himself just what he is doing. With you using it makes it a comfort zone for him...his comfort zone has nothing to do with anyone else's comfort.

Hon you are trying to hang onto and build on a relationship that doesn't appear to exist.

Walk calmly and quickly to the nearest exit. The relationship is on fire, and he holds the matches.

Go to meetings, check out Co dependency meetings, NA, AA, Alanon hit them all...

He found his enabler in the addict you were...he also found his whipping boy.

YOU are WORTH MORE than that.

aliyah4, Welcome to KCI. Welcome to new and I hope you will consider us good friends.

aliyah4, I am so glad you came.
 

aliyah4
 
Re: Boyfriend uses meth, I want to quit

Just wanted to thank everyone here for being so kind and supportive. I'm going to keep my strengh and faith up as that is all I have to left to hold on to.

The answer to whether or not I have asked him to quit as well...no, I mean how can you possibly ask someone to quit when they themselves see that they have no addiction problem?

Thanks again guys!!


See also:

Husband / Boyfriend Use of Meth

Can you quit meth on your own?

Boyfriend meth addicted: How do I save our relationship?


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