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Help! I need to Drug Test my spouse


brenda Need to drug test my spouse
So found his "drug kit" the other day - This time with drugs in it - Sort of hard to claim that was something he hid a long time ago so he had to admit to not being clean - Spent 3 days sleeping, complaining of back pain, etc (usually stuff) 4th day started getting around 5th day pretty good 6th and 7th - Lots of energy and not much sleep - My brain is going pretty good thinking that it was a quick recovery time - Asked him to do a drug test to put my mind at ease - Wow, what a response I got - I was violating his rights, What if the kids found the drug test in the trash (not to mention the drug kit was in the house when I found it) What if people found out he did drug test, how degrading would that be etc. Then when I drew some boundaries he backed up and agreed to do drug test but strangely has not had to pee for 2 days now - So my question is how long does it take for the meth to get out of his system so his drug test is clean - I just have those sticks you put in the pee that I ordered off the internet - I know the answer to whether he's using but I would like some education so I might have an idea of the magic day that he will begin peeing again
luve
piphany
Re: Need to drug test my spouse
3 days
imlost
inky

Re: Need to drug test my spouse


Quote:


I know the answer to whether he's using but I would like some education so I might have an idea of the magic day that he will begin peeing again
Well Brenda, he pees every day.
So let me ask you, why ask the question when you know the answer?
What are you hoping for?
Some magical change of face where he will come clean in more ways than one?
He will - but not on your timeline. You can't make him quit Brenda.
He quits when the pain of using exceed the fear of quitting.

Now you can buy all the tests you want, find all the drug kits you want, and he will still lie.
Addicts in active addiction lie- that is what they do. Not because they think you believe it- it just gives room for doubt and it is denial.

Now wouldn't a better question be how will you know he is clean? and going to be staying that way? When he gets honest.

Your choice now is this- how much do you allow for his addiction to control you? your every thought? your every move? keeping your life on hold?
That is what you have say over. That is what you determine.
That is within your control.
LorauraRe: Need to drug test my spouse
Yup, about 3 days of abstinence will result in a clean urine analysis.

He's using.

He felt better on the 6th and 7th days because he scored.
notold
ash
Re: Need to drug test my spouse
Drug testing him now is pointless IMO. You already know that he's using and he won't pee until he knows he can pee clean so he can get you off his back. Why waist the test now? Save it and spring it on him randomly. If he refuses to pee or give you any excuse/blame/sob story then that counts as a dirty result.

Besides what are you going to do if it is dirty? Yell, cry, threaten to leave? It won't get the reaction you're hoping for ... been there done that. Oh and BTW I got all of the exact same excuses you got... it's degrading... what if someone found out... yada yada yada... blah blah blah.

So.. what if one the kids had found the "drug kit" with the drugs in it? OR for some unthinkable reason the police found it in your house with children residing there. I dunno about you but those are some unnessary risks I wouldn't be willing to take with my children.

He's an addict and he's going to do what addicts do. Lie and hide for his addiction. Your most likely codependant. You can drive yourself crazy worrying and looking for clues as to whether or not he's using or you can learn about codependancy, get yourself some support and work on your own recovery.

Nothing you say, do or find is going to change him. NOTHING. Clean UA or Dirty UA. Fact is he's using and he's going to continue to find ways to use until he wants to quit.

The balls in your court now brenda.
sickand
tired77

Re: Need to drug test my spouse


Quote:


He felt better on the 6th and 7th days because he scored.
My thoughts, exactly!
Savedin
illinois
Re: Need to drug test my spouse
I agree. Drug testing is pointless right now. There is no doubt in my mind he's using from what you described in your post.

I'm sorry, but please stop holding onto the hope that you're wrong about this. You're right. Now ask him if he's ready to fix it.

See also:

Drug Tests and Drug Testing Excuses


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