Where can I get help / treatment for my daughter with no money, home or job?

pislander

What should I do next?

I have posted a few times and am still at a lost. As I have mentioned my 43 yr old daughter is a meth addict.
I have had very little contact with her until just the past few weeks. She has called and while talking has admitted to using meth and has said it is an awful drug and she needs help. This is the first time she has admitted any drug use to me. I suggested inpatient treatment and her answer is "I would like to try and beat this myself and if I can't, then go in for treatment."

Last evening she called and told me she had been to a few NA meetings, but where she has gone she does not feel that she can relate. Then she mentioned going to a couple of CMA meetings and she seemed to feel more comfortable there.
She is homeless, has nothing but the clothes on her back and a bicycle for transportation. I live almost 3000 miles from her and feel like I am at a loss when she calls and talks to me about needing help, wanting help.

Any suggestions on a step forward in the right direction? I have not enabled at all, once I knew of her addiction and have told her the only way we can talk is when she is ready for treatment. Also told her she is to put no ultimatum on me and I refuse to let her use me as a means to get money etc.

How does one get help and treatment if they have no home, no money, no job? Is there something I could do to push her in the right direction, or could it be that she is looking to see if I will go soft?
Any input will be appreciated.

Sfj

Re: What should I do next?

Ok, You asked for it. Here’s my input.

1. I’m sorry for the problems and the pain, truly I am.
2. This sentence is a wonderful element of hope:
“She has called and while talking has admitted to using meth and has said it is an awful drug and she needs help”
3. This is also providing a good amount of hope: “she mentioned going to a couple of CMA meetings and she seemed to feel more comfortable there.”
4. Please realize that she is hurting and confused and in her own way, trying desperately to reach out to you for help. Even though it looks ugly and bleak from your perspective.
5. “I live almost 3000 miles from her.”
Where are you? Where is she? Are you living in the Pacific on an island? (screen name) Or is she on one coast and you on the other? The reason I ask, is because I can furnish a good amount of info regarding help for meth addict in California.
6. “have told her the only way we can talk is when she is ready for treatment.”
Please reconsider. She needs someone to talk with BEFORE she is ready for treatment. Someone who will not judge or condemn her. She has enough of that already.
7. “How does one get help and treatment if they have no home, no money, no job?”
Most rehabs, and all 12-step groups are free. If you need more info on these, please let me know.
My site
CMA Website

pislander

Re: What should I do next?

Thanks SFJ for your input...I think it was great.
I have hope also on her finally reaching out to me.
Yes, I was pleased with the CMA meetings also, but I need help in encouraging her to continue.
Her hurt is my hurt and her confusion is my confusion. I want to come out of the "Fog" and be understanding and not make a mess of this, since she is reaching out.

Actually, not quite 3000 miles...maybe 2300 or so. I live on a small island in Florida, not remote, but quiet and laid back. Not much here, as far as any support. My daughter is in the Phoenix area.

On telling her about talking to her only when she was ready for treatment was sometime ago, and we have not talked for a long time (June to be more specific.) When she called the last few times I have not told her not to call if she is not ready for treatment...just mentioned to her that it is good for us to talk about options open to her and I was so happy that she was talking to me about where she is and where she wants to go from here.

Yes, I would like information on outpatient, inpatient any and all I can pass on to her. She also told me that she had been checking out some inpatient treatment centers but is not ready for that just yet.

I was well aware of CMA when she mentioned it to me and it lifted me high when I heard it.

I have visited your site and was very impressed with everything I have read. I have been in and out of your site reading, reading, and getting a wealth of info and am glad for your site and this site.

I don't post much here, but do visit daily (lurking) and it has given me strength to make it this far.
Now I am afraid I am not going to do the right thing for her.
Can we talk?

JUSTCATS

Re: What should I do next?

www.stopmethaddiction.com/drugrehabstate.htm?state=Arizona
www.recoveryconnection.org/find_drug_rehab/Arizona.php
www.stopaddiction.com/states/oregon_drug_rehab_info~Phoenix.html

I did a search, using "google" and found some of these places. I think I put in "free meth treatment centers in Phoenix". There were others listed too.

I don't know if you emailing or calling any of these places would be "enabling her." I think that if she was really ready for treatment, I would do whatever to help her (other than financial).

RobinW

Re: What should I do next?

Thanks Sharon, I will check them out.
i live in Ca. by Sacramento so I will look here also.

wish me luck..

JUSTCATS

Re: What should I do next?

Robin,
I am sure that you can find some place in CA. I just googled them for Phoenix, where this persons daughter is.

So much
guilt

I feel your pain

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this devil addiction that has taken hold of your daughter. I'm not sure you indicated how long she has been using meth.
Please don't be upset with me, but nothing will work until SHE IS READY TO GET HELP. You can not do this for her. You have already given her choices and she has to choose to do something about it. Meth addiction is SO POWERFUL. I feel that a long time user needs to be in a inpatient rehab facility for at least 1 year.
I will pray for you and for your strength. I will pray for your daughter to choose a different path and hope she can break the hold meth has on her...
I lost my 22 year old son August of this year. Austin was 12 when he starting doing drugs. The past 6 years he was in love with crystal. It took over him, he couldn't break it's hold. He was in several rehab facility over the years. Nothing was long enough. When he reached 18 it was his choice to stay or go. I miss my son so much!
Please be positive with your daughter and continue to offer her options, but don't enable her. What happens is her choice.
I still have so much guilt.
Visit my son's memorial website, light a candle, read his life story, share it with your daughter if you have the chance. I hope Austin can make you and your daughter strong. You don't want it to end this way.
www.austin-hesse.last-memories.com
I will be thinking of you and saying a prayer.

I'm 46 years old, have a 10 year old son and my mother is my best friend, as I was to Austin.
God Bless You!

pislander

Re: What should I do next?

Thanks Sharon for the links.

The first one is Narconon, which I am familiar with.
The one link that seems to shed some hope is the second one. They have three local treatment centers in the phoenix area. I will contact them after the holidays.

I really appreciate your taking the time to research this.

Quote:
I don't know if you emailing or calling any of these places would be "enabling her." I think that if she was really ready for treatment, I would do whatever to help her (other than financial).

IMO, emailing or calling anyone regarding treatment is Not enabling. Since she is opening up about her addiction, I feel all info I can have to suggest would only be helping.

Thanks again

pislander

Re: I feel your pain

Hi Jill,

Quote:
I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this devil addiction that has taken hold of your daughter. I'm not sure you indicated how long she has been using meth.

"Devil addiction is so true - She has been a user since June of 2005, at least that is when I first found out.

Quote:

Please don't be upset with me, but nothing will work until SHE IS READY TO GET HELP. You can not do this for her. You have already given her choices and she has to choose to do something about it

I agree, I can not force her into treatment or anything else for that matter, but having options and being there for her when she calls is the best I can do now. As I had mentioned I had only talked to her a few times since I found out about her addiction and those were terrible conversations, denial, hate and downright mean.

The last few calls she has made just the past few days, have been like God has answered my prayers and is letting her open up and talk somewhat to me. I will not enable her financially, but talking and encouraging can't hurt, can it?

Jill, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I will for sure visit his site and light a candle.
God bless you and please let go of the guilt, you had no control, and did not cause your son Austin's addiction. The memorial website you have dedicated to him shows The Love you have for him and how much you care.

BentBut
NotBroken1

Re: I feel your pain

Welcome Annette to KCI. I'm sorry Kathy was so mean and hurtful for a while...sounds like she's coming around though. Early clean time is hard in many ways.

Not everyone *has* to do inpatient or outpatient rehab...and I'm not discouraging it either. Kathy has semi-short term use-June 2005 makes it a little over a year now. If she has said she'd like to try doing this on her own first.. has tried N/A and it didn't fit.......found a fit in CMA....and is now speaking to you on better terms....
yet says she'd do rehab if on her own doesn't work...then, it sounds to me like Kathy had enough of methmadness and has some self-determination to kick meth. That will go a long way in her recovery-either way she goes.

You are well-educated since you've been to Sfj's site and have read here. Now you have some treatment center options to look into. That wouldn't be enabling Kathy in my opinion. You'd just be prepared to talk to her when and if she needs the rehab option. I've heard nothing but good about CMA.

Keep loving her, communicating with her, praying for her, and coming here to vent/read any time you want. That's part of your recovery...and you do need somewhere to talk-maybe even a "someone" to talk with (counselor). Parent's get the harsh end of the treatment and need love and support too.

I'm glad you came on-board and shared with us. There's lots of love and knowledge here for anyone in need. KCI is where I quit meth on September 30, 2006 after 6 months of use. So again, Welcome to KCI.
I'm keeping you in my prayers. Please keep us posted?

pislander

Re: I feel your pain

Thank you so much for your kind words.

Quote:
it sounds to me like Kathy had enough of methmadness and has some self-determination to kick meth. That will go a long way in her recovery-either way she goes.

Kathy is a strong-willed woman, (like her Mom). She called again last night and I was on the phone with her for I really can't say for how many hours, but many.
She was depressed and crying, but after awhile she settled down and talked again about getting help and if I asked to many questions about what she was leaning towards, she would say....I am not ready to let you know yet, I am researching my options. My reply was, If you need help researching, I will be more than happy to help and left it at that.

She has lost everything she had because of her addiction and she knows that is why, to a point. She was a single mom of 4 and CPS took the children and they were put with there bio dads. The dads will not let her or I have any contact with the kids, no phone calls, no letters. This is upsetting to her and I hope and pray that she will one day be able to have some type of closeness to her children.

I for sure will be back here, and hopefully I can give some good news.

I am going to be posting after the holidays, about something else that I need to know about Meth and recovery.
I thought it would be better to wait until after the holidays, as maybe more would see it and be able to respond.

Search only this SITE by keyword or topic using Google's Search Engine!
(make sure www.kci.org is selected below)

THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern.