KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Home  |  Meth Topics  |  Letters & Stories  |  Message Board  |  Chat Room  |   Slang Names  |  Anti-Meth Sites  |  Cleaning up Labs  |  Physical Damage  |   Resources for Teachers  |  Research Articles  |  Recommend Reading  |  SEARCH






When people say relapse, what does that mean?


mtgl7771 What is relapse?
When people say relapse, what does that mean? Does it mean he does it once and gets caught and starts recovery all over again? does it mean he will confess to it or just keep going till he's confronted?
I caught myself searching the room. I hate that I did this but I found 1. a plastic baggie with the corner cut out. cannot be sure it is not old but.... 2. a shelf on my shower had a large black smudge, ashy. now I know when he left to rehab and I cleaned up every nook and cranny that wasn't there. 3. and probably most telling is he left his sunglasses and fishing license behind.
I hate that I know deep down my gut instinct was right. Thank God I didn't replace him on the checking account.
Please someone answer the above question on what is a relapse.
     Replies...
Naiev
Newlywed
Re: What is relapse?
To me - the term 'relapse' is something that a recovering addict will admit, not hide until they're caught.
I don't know.

Have you asked him?
Chasing the possibilities that he may be using again (which it seems is what you're doing with the evidence) will only drive you crazy....or it would me at least.

I'm sorry.
k8
kanguru
Re: What is relapse?
Quote:
When people say relapse, what does that mean? Does it mean he does it once and gets caught and starts recovery all over again? does it mean he will confess to it or just keep going till he's confronted?

Relapse can mean different things to different addicts...it's entirely individual.

It could mean a few days of strange behavior and then a confession "Oh honey, I'm sorry I messed up. I'm going back to my recovery program."

Or it could mean secrets, lies and denial while you run around playing detective for months on end and he enjoys the challenge of keeping you hoodwinked while he uses behind your back.

Or it could mean, as it did with my man, that he lovingly kisses you goodbye one day and then simply disappears into the Darkside, never returning home again even to pick up his possessions (now three months later).

I know with my man that there'll be no admission of a relapse and nothing but lies, denial and blame on me until he's finished this run - however long it takes this time until he either bottoms out or kills himself.

He's not using meth, you see. He just decided one day to throw away everything that was of value to him and go off and live in a dirty back room in Skankville again because (by his own admission) he's nothing but a low-life scumbag.

(In case you missed it, that last paragraph was expressed with a tone of heavy sarcasm.)

So as to whether or not your confronting him is going to make one bit of difference, I can't say. I wouldn't pin my hopes on it if I were you. He'll do what he'll do and you'll be sidelined once he's in the arms of his meth lover again.

Naiev
Newlywed
Re: What is relapse?

Quote:


He's not using meth, you see. He just decided one day to throw away everything that was of value to him and go off and live in a dirty back room in Skankville again because (by his own admission) he's nothing but a low-life scumbag.

That was good!

Penel0pe Re: What is relapse?
"Relapse" means different things depending on who you are talking to.

Some people will say "I have a year clean minus two days (because they used one weekend out of that year.)

Some people will call daily use daily relapse (I call it active addiction.)

In my own recovery, a relapse means I have made the decision to get high after making the decision to stay clean. I am one of those people who says "I have 2 years, ten months clean today," but if I use tomorrow, I start over again, at day one.

For some people "relapse" means they have been using pot or booze, just not meth - and they have "relapsed" if they use meth again.
It depends on the person...
I think a better question would be:
What is RECOVERY?
To me, recovery means that I am working a program that addresses my addiction, with the goal being COMPLETE ABSTINENCE from substance abuse... learning how to live without having to get high on anything.

People in recovery sometimes relapse. They lose their clean time (This is MY DEFINITION, remember,) but the tools they learned - those they keep. It is up to them to pick them up again, and use them in order to stay clean.
k8
kanguru
Re: What is relapse?

Quote:


Leslie asked:
Have you asked him?

Did you see this on the other thread

Quote:
My husband has stopped meetings, no sponsor, stopped his spirituality. He has closed himself off again and acts like I'm the enemy. Hasn't gone back to coke/meth that I can see but has "taken" some of my sons adderral pills (he found the bottle), taking too many trazadone, which means he will run out AGAIN and be even more depressed. I asked him WHY? Why if you know what is needed to stay sober, if you have all the recourses available to you, why do you choose not to do it, at least try? He said he is just miserable, he's haunted, all his "past" is coming back, he prefers to be alone and being with me makes everything 10x's worse.
I just told him that I love him and am here to support him but I couldn't do this for him. He said I was trying too hard. He admitted that "mentally" he is taking his first hit and maybe I should just kick him out now.

Hmmm...looks to me like that discussion has already happened and he's already given her fair warning of his headspace and 'gone fishing' anyway.

I could be wrong of course but I'd be putting the survival drill onto an amber alert stage.

Naiev
Newlywed
Re: What is relapse?
Too many long threads - I missed it I guess.
Edited to say -
Yep - I'd probably make him leave now. History may be about to repeat itself.
 
k8
kanguru
Re: What is relapse?
Leslie wrote:

Quote:


That was good!

Yeah and it'd even be funny if it wasn't so effing tragic.

Frenchy Re: What is relapse?
RELAPSE-
When an addict chooses to get clean and he falls off the wagon (finds himself getting high after making a decision to get clean) he has relapsed.

IT CAN TAKE 2 minutes, it can take 2 months.
GETTING CLEAN IS EASY.
STAYING CLEAN IS THE PROBLEM.
The addicts have it best, they get A EUPHORIC HIGH AND WHEN THEY COME DOWN...WE WALK ON EGG SHELLS TO KEEP THEM HAPPY.
IT IS THE LOVER OF THE ADDICT THAT SUFFERS MOST.
THEIR SUFFERING BEGINS WHEN THEY see the aftermath of their addiction.

FOR SOME THIS NEVER HAPPENS...instead, they find themselves 6 feel below be4 such an awakening has a chance to come into fruition-

Naiev
Newlywed
Re: What is relapse?
I'm not sure why you keep 'correcting me' or whatever, but what I meant by "that was good" was that when my addict left me with the excuse that my daughter was our problems, there were issues we needed to work on living separately, and that it was only temporarily, I wished that I would've been smart enough or strong enough to say something like that to him.

I apologize if I offended you. I won't address your posts and will make sure I read other posts thoroughly before asking someone a question that may already be in another thread so you don't have to point it out.
k8
kanguru
Re: What is relapse?
Quote:
I'm not sure why you keep 'correcting me' or whatever,

Pull in the prickles, love. I wasn't correcting you or being critical of you at all.
I thought you were laughing at my sarcasm so I was simply saying "Yeah it'd be funny if it wasn't so tragic.
You don't need to add anything more to it than that, friend.
No offence intended, none taken.

forget
suzette
Re: What is relapse?
basically..  it APPEARS to me...( I don't know cause I wasn't there)  dude smoked some speed in the bathroom...........and got pipe soot on the shower curtain.  relapse is like falling off the wagon.
.....It means you DID drugs, but you were trying NOT to do drugs.
....if you are trying to diet and you relapse....you ate a cake.
 
Sfj Re: What is relapse?
One cannot be in recovery and relapse at the same time.
That also means that  One cannot be in relapse and recovery at the same time.
lax2 Re: What is relapse?
QUOTE " the addicts have it best..."
I don't know what to say about that...But I guess I'll just say UM NO Not exactly...
Penel0pe Re: What is relapse?
Quote:
One cannot be in recovery and relapse at the same time.
That also means that
One cannot be in relapse and recovery at the same time.

I know LOTS of people who have been in recovery with many years of clean time who have gone out and used.

Did they lose all of the knowledge they gained in the years that they were in recovery when they made the decision to go out and use? They aren't using the tools, that's a fact...

That is my point. People who are in recovery aren't exempt from relapse. People in recovery who relapse have something missing in their program... they aren't applying what they have learned to their lives - some are choosing not to, and some just haven't learned enough yet, and newcomers in recovery are especially prone to relapse.

I was going to meetings for seven months before I got clean. I learned how to get clean at those meetings. I learned how to get clean by attending a program of recovery. I was in recovery - I just wasn't doing it right. I didn't quite know how just yet. I had to be in recovery to learn how it worked.

I didn't get on a bike and ride it correctly the first time either. I was riding a bike - but I kept falling off, too.

I didn't have the luxury of institutional abstinence in a inpatient program to get clean. Not everyone has that option. I had to learn how to get clean out in the world. Some of us have to do it the hard way - live in the world, go to meetings, go to IOP, whatever - BE IN A PROGRAM OF RECOVERY, and learn HOW to get clean and stay that way by attending, learning, and in time, applying a program of recovery to our lives in order to get clean and STAY CLEAN.

I had to be in a program of recovery in order to get clean. I stay in a program of recovery in order to stay clean.

If a person has cancer and is getting chemotherapy, still has cancer but is getting better, is he in recovery or is he not?

If he stays well for a period of time, but the cancer returns and he has to go back for more chemotherapy - ie: do what is required of him to get well again - is he in recovery?

Recovery, to me, is doing the work required to be free from active addiction. For some of us, it takes time. I think when you tell people who relapse in spite of their efforts "You aren't in recovery" it might give them incentive to give up on themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again...

jes78 Re: What is relapse?
for me relapse starts way before using. i behave different, hang w/ old friends. so i guess i can be in relapse and still be physically clean of drugs. i eventually pick up though. i hope things work out for u.

Meth Relapse Topics


Back to Crystal Meth & Methamphetamine Questions, Answers & Advice


THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern.


HOME  |  ABOUT US  | PRIVACY POLICY  |  CONTACT US  |  SEARCH

Copyright 1999-2014 by KCI The Anti-Meth Site
All Rights Reserved
Legal Disclaimers and Copyright Notices