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My sister is a meth addict - Help


Eidden
06
My sister is a meth addict - time is running out
I need all and any helpful information. My sister is 33 years old and is a meth addict. She is a UCSB graduate and went on to be a teacher. She since has lost her job, about to loose her house, and is 90 pounds. She is showing all the signs of meth use; hair falling out, blister type marks on her face, hands, and stomach. She is like a walking skeleton with only skin, and beyond recognition. She says that she does not have a drug problem. She usually tells people she has a disease that vary from cancer, and the latest is a thyroid disease.

She is so frail, but yet speaks so sharp and comes across that she is very intelligent. However, her looks tell a different story. She has several episodes of crying and blaming my mother for all the bad that has happened in her life. She has such hate for my mother, that my mom stays away to avoid any problems with her. However, it is so hard for my mom because she wants to reach out and help her, but in my sister's eyes, she is the enemy.

I currently have her 14 year old son living with me because he couldn't take seeing his mom this way anymore. She also has a 7 year old daughter that is mostly with my mom. CPS got involved, but did nothing.

I've done tons of research and over and over, the same message is that she could only be helped when she wants. This is so hard because she is beyond helping herself and will not admit to it.

Is there anything at all that could force her to get help, and how long could her body really take this drug? There's almost nothing left of her.
     Replies...
Loraura Re: My sister is a meth addict - time is running out
If she isn't suicidal, there isn't much you can do to force treatment.
nine
years
clean
Re: My sister is a meth addict - time is running out
Hi. My name is Lori and I am a former meth addict.
If I were you, I would contact an interventionist. She does not have to die.

While it is true that an addict has to want help in order to receive it, that doesn't  mean you can't help raise her bottom somewhat.

She is in denial. Denial is a delusional system that prevents the addict/alcoholic from realizing the reality of their own situation, and the reality that the dope/alcohol is what is causing their problems. It isn't a willpower issue; it isn't a conscious effort to deny; she isn't immoral. She is INCAPABLE of seeing reality.

First, always speak with love and concern in your voice when you speak to the addict about wanting to help. You should cite specific incidents that lead you to believe there is a problem, without judgment and without attacking the addict. And tell her how those specific incidents made you feel.
Tell her what happened, how it made you feel, and what you did about it.
For instance: At Mom's birthday party last week you were so high you couldn't sit still and you weren't making any sense, and then you picked a fight with Mom for no reason at all. This made me feel hurt and sad, and there was nothing I could do to make Mom feel better, so I just left because I didn't want to make matters worse by fighting with you about it.

Couch your words in the overall message that you are trying to save her life.

This is what I learned in a Chemical Dependency class I've recently taken, which included teaching on how to conduct an intervention.
The goal is to fracture that circle of denial the addict is blanketed in, so that reality can seep into the addict's mind. Once you can do that, the addict will begin to see the problem for what it really is, and will be more open to accepting help.

That help should be already available and set up before you approach an addict with intervention, so not one second of the addict's willingness to get help is wasted.

Please seek the advice of a professional, however, because I am only a recovering addict who is learning to become a substance abuse counselor. I am NOT a professional.

Please don't give up. Her life is worth saving; the goal is to help HER to see this.
You can direct her to this site, for a start.

My prayers are with you,
coffee
diva
Re: My sister is a meth addict - time is running out
I am so sorry to hear about your sister.
It sucks to watch someone you love turn into a walking skeleton, looking like they are at death's door. My husband is an addict. He is about 4 months clean.

I wish I had some great advice for you to help her, but I don't. When I first came here, they told me about the 3 C's:
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.

Keep learning all you can about the drug. SFJ has some great info on his site, as does Lourara. Maybe print some of the info out and leave it for her to find.

When someone is high they won't hear you. No matter how much we scream and beg and plead. Sometimes, when they are coming down, we see a little glimpse of them and can get through.

I hope it gets better.

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