KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Home  |  Meth Topics  |  Letters & Stories  |  Message Board  |  Slang Names  |  Anti-Meth Sites  |  Cleaning up Labs  |  Physical Damage  |   Resources for Teachers  |  Research Articles  |  Recommend Reading  |  SEARCH






Loving an addict, the weird part...


Naiev
Newlywed
You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
The following posting is something I read on another board that I frequent - written by 'Billy'sBabyGirl'.

It so simple yet so true.
Quote:
You know what's weird about loving an addict, is you feel so damn guilty about making the right choices. And do you know why we feel so guilty, because it's what we haven't done before.

We have let them manipulate us. We've let them steal from us. We've let them put us into debt. We've given them 3rd and 4th chances. We've let them cheat on us. We've put our lives aside trying to save their lives. We've lost who we are for them.

So when we finally put our foots down, we feel guilty. Not because we don't deserve to put our foots down, but because we feel as if we're betraying them. But all along we have been betraying ourselves for them.

It's weird how we can care for everyone else, but the moment we start caring for ourselves we feel guilty.

There are over 18 pages of responses. Let me know if you would like the link to read some of them.

They include:

Quote:


Loving the addict is hard but loving yourself is harder to do..

And:

Quote:
It's because time and time again we hear, "It's a disease" and you wouldn't abandon him if he had cancer would you? That's what makes me feel guilty and makes me stay.
     Replies...
4molly Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
You know it's just funny how we do "lose" ourselves for the addict and "his" problem. When focusing on ourselves is what we should be doing. Why is that so hard?
luve
piphany
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
Molly, your question brought to mind the very prophetic and wise quote I read on here..."Their teeth match our wounds" It's way deeper than the first read.

luvya
lover
ofa
meth
addict
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
When my addict was still relapsing...I talked to my counselor and said to him. " He could not really love me, I am too clean for him." He looked at me, with disbelief in what I just said.

Sick!!!
luve
piphany
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
That's too funny!!!!!!!!!
Wish I could wear my loverofanaddict badge in public!

I had someone actually ask me if I was on drugs the other day-Someone, I may add, that knows what is going on in my life-I just about fell over-I almost laughed out loud, I almost cried. I said, "I hate drugs" What a bizarre thing...I wonder what I would be like if I did do drugs-(maybe the cigarettes and caffeine are making me someone I don't know....)

I swear, ya can't win for tryin--the disease is obviously way more catchy and holding than we know.

Makes me paranoid....to have normal human reactions-what's normal?
In the end, it is said that everything will be turned upside down. It's looking like the end from my view.
amart
1279
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
That guilt factor is so true. Not only is it hard to love ourselves, but essentially codependency allows us to focus on saving THEM so WE don't have to face what's wrong with OURSELVES. it's almost ironic. I mean after all, they have an "excuse" they are altering their mind's make up, physically and mentally addicted to a SUBSTANCE. What's our excuse? 
k8
kanguru
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
Quote:
You know what's weird about loving an addict, is you feel so damn guilty about making the right choices.

There's something about the wording in that first sentence that bothers me. It implies that the cause of this problem lies with the addict....like they made us this way.

That subtle shift masks the true source of the problem - and its solution.

Recognizing that the problem lies in our not placing sufficient emphasis on taking responsibility for our own wellbeing, is the starting point to recovery.

Indiana
shedevil
Re: You Know What's Weird About Loving An Addict
Quote:
Recognizing that the problem lies in our not placing sufficient emphasis on taking responsibility for our own wellbeing, is the starting point to recovery.

Very well put! It took me forever to get that through my head! When I finally did that was my moment of awareness. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

THIS is the reason why I was able to make a lot of progress in my own personal recovery...
Please ponder over this... It is a VERY valid point!


Back to Crystal Meth & Methamphetamine Questions, Answers & Advice


THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care professional if you have a specific health concern.


HOME  |  ABOUT US  | PRIVACY POLICY  |  CONTACT US  |  SEARCH

Copyright 1999-2017 by KCI The Anti-Meth Site
All Rights Reserved
Legal Disclaimers and Copyright Notices