Loving an addict, the weird part...

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You know what's weird about loving an addict, is you feel so damn guilty about making the right choices. And do you know why we feel so guilty, because it's what we haven't done before.

We have let them manipulate us. We've let them steal from us. We've let them put us into debt. We've given them 3rd and 4th chances. We've let them cheat on us. We've put our lives aside trying to save their lives. We've lost who we are for them.

So when we finally put our foots down, we feel guilty. Not because we don't deserve to put our foots down, but because we feel as if we're betraying them. But all along we have been betraying ourselves for them.

It's weird how we can care for everyone else, but the moment we start caring for ourselves we feel guilty.

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There are over 18 pages of responses. Let me know if you would like the link to read some of them.

They include:

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Loving the addict is hard but loving yourself is harder to do..

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It's because time and time again we hear, "It's a disease" and you wouldn't abandon him if he had cancer would you? That's what makes me feel guilty and makes me stay.

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You know what's weird about loving an addict, is you feel so damn guilty about making the right choices.

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There's something about the wording in that first sentence that bothers me. It implies that the cause of this problem lies with the addict....like they made us this way.

That subtle shift masks the true source of the problem - and its solution.

Recognizing that the problem lies in our not placing sufficient emphasis on taking responsibility for our own wellbeing, is the starting point to recovery.

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Recognizing that the problem lies in our not placing sufficient emphasis on taking responsibility for our own wellbeing, is the starting point to recovery.

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Very well put! It took me forever to get that through my head! When I finally did that was my moment of awareness. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

THIS is the reason why I was able to make a lot of progress in my own personal recovery...
Please ponder over this... It is a VERY valid point!