KCI The Anti_Meth Site

To the Addict who still suffers

nine years clean	To the Addict who still suffers If you've come to this site, you've come to the right place, because you're obviously questioning your current lifestyle, and are curious if there are others just like you. Well, you've found us! Welcome. Please come in from the rain, if only for just awhile. You are safe here. You are amongst friends. All we ask is that you treat everyone with respect, as we will strive to always treat you. We are addicts, recovering addicts, loved ones and family members of addicts, and we welcome you with open arms and open hearts. I know that when I was active in my 13 year meth addiction, I didn't know there were other people like me out there. I was terminally unique, and the only thing that could "cure" my condition was more meth. I didn't know there was a better way to live, and that there were people out there just like me who had kicked meth and gone on to have that better way of life. I didn't know much about the drug, meth, that had such a hold on me. I didn't know why I used, and I didn't know why I couldn't stop. I didn't know how to stop. Not until I landed in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, where I found people like me, and I needed them. I needed to be around people like me, and there were only two places I could do that: out there still using with my tweaker buddies, or in the rooms of NA with my ex-tweaker buddies. This forum is rich with experience and wisdom and knowledge and love and support and acceptance. It is a place where you are safe from judgment; a place where you can begin to forgive yourself, and by accomplishing that, you can begin to heal from your addiction. From the bottom of my heart, welcome. I want you to know that WE DO RECOVER. My name is Lori and I have been clean for over 10 years.
Replies...
mj	Re: To the Addict who still suffers I just read Nineyearsclean's message, and am impelled to reply to her. I am a mother of a 28 yr. old young woman who has lost everything to this evil chemical. I am in despair, hoping I won't have to take antidepressants some day. I pray for her daily. She has left a trail of debris, broken hearts, including her x who she should have married by now. His heart is totally broken, along with her parents, family and friends. She is hooked up with a 47 yr. old who still takes money from his mother, is now in jail. I have trouble "forgiving" all of this. I hope my own heart will soften someday. Thanks for your inspirational testimony. I really am seeing and feeling very gray these days. Jail time didn't even seem to "wake her up" out of her stupor, and that was 45 days clean with letters written to her from all those who love her: family/friends/boyfriend. It is a sad, sad state of affairs. Sign me, Mother in mourning...
pepper	Re: To the Addict who still suffers I am the mother of a meth user. He's only 22 and I'm trying desperately to help him. But after reading all these posts I realize my 'help' is only hurting him. I've spent over $40,000 the past two years helping him pay bills, warrants, speeding tickets, attorneys, etc. I realize I've just been enabling him. He's my only son and I love him dearly. But do I love him enough to let him continue down this path to hell, hoping and praying he'll see the light and come home? I've offered him a free place to stay, college, etc. but he doesn't want to move home because "the addiction won't let him go". I haven't heard from him in two days and I know he's out there - high. What do I do?
smb ch06	Re: To the Addict who still suffers Pepper: It's possible that Al-Anon would help you tremendously! It's for the families of....
pepper	Re: To the Addict who still suffers I'm looking into a support group - I found this site first. I know it's something I desperately need to do, and I am going to do it. I had one-on-one counseling about a year ago and it helped a lot - at least to understand what I can change. I need the strength to say 'no', no matter how many lies my son tells me, or the millions of guilt trips he puts on me. It's just so hard to watch him struggle - I want to make it all go away but nothing I do works.
wleven son	Re: To the Addict who still suffers My husband is an addict. He says he's been clean for 5 months from cocaine. Is he really? I know he still does pot. He gets so violent. He came home last night from his friends wanting to go out at 12:00 a.m. I said why? what are you going to do at 12:00 a.m. in the morning and that he shouldn't go. He snapped like an animal!!! Snapped like an animal. Abusive. Start throwing things and making threats. I really, really hate him. But I feel stuck. We have two kids. I only work part time and I am trying to make more money with Real Estate. As soon as I'm financially secure, I'm leaving. I've waited 4 years for him to recover. He's a liar, a jerk, a beast, and I can't take it anymore. I'm a Christian and I can't believe these things live in my heart. But they do. I Really, Really, Really despise this man. I really wish God would take take care of the situation. I've been waiting for soooo long. The lies, the lies, the abuse, the abuse. I can't take this fool anymore!!
mdfa zalea	Re: To the Addict who still suffers I'm 19 months old and I STILL SUFFER! What the @#%$ is that? Hummm, hopefully in time, I will be able to answer that, but for NOW. I am one grateful addict to be clean off that sheet..I used for 17 years on a a daily basis...up my nose. Yikes....what gets me by? My NA group, my sponsor, and the guy I call God. I write to you with tears in my eyes because being high sucks, coming down sucks, staying clean sucks, BUT being ALIVE is really freakin cool. Living is really cool. And until you REALLY TRY to be clean then you don't know what life is about for you. Try to remember that when you're in A MOMENT that time will pass and heal it. Just for that second, that minute, that hour, the song that your listening at the moment, the anger, the frustration, the that whatever. It passes...try to pass it you'll see that it really isn't that bad.
teepee	Re: To the Addict who still suffers I can't get through college with out it as I get moody. tiredness. I've been using for 2 and a half years. and have not gone without it for more than a week. I'm terrified of reality. am I losing it? I know a lot of people know I'm on drugs. but I don't dare tell.
blessed	Re: To the Addict who still suffers i am an addict i read your story it touched me because i lost everything in my addiction all i had left was my dope buddies really not my friends I lost everything by the time I was 18 years old. I am 31 now. I'm in narcotics Anonymous. found a new and anew life freedom from active addiction that's the only promise in N/A. the only way we can keep what we is by giving it away. you can only carry the message not the addict so keep praying to your god. my clean date is 1/28/06.first time ever. I live my life today I'm truly blessed. that I'm alive. and in Narcotics Anonymous i found out i have one disease only that is the disease of addiction so keep your head up ......
faraaz	Re: To the Addict who still suffers hi i am faraaz and I have tried quitting seriously about three times now and i somehow seem to get back on it. I really don't want to be on this forever. all i want to know is that if i ever get clean are there going to be a lot of persistent symptoms or side effects that i am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life