My daughter, age 35, is using Meth

controller
1971

my daughter

I have not been here in awhile. My daughter is 35 years old. She started using meth approx 3 years ago. Her children are now 5 and 4 and they stay with their dad most of the time, because my daughter is staying with someone who cannot allow the children at her rental home. The kids are better off with the dad, of course. I never hear from my daughter unless she needs a favor. She rarely asked me for anything monetarily, but she gets food stamps for her and the girls, but the food stamps get traded for money and very little is donated for food for the girls. Fortunately, their dad takes care of them in that dept. Every time, I see my daughter she looks skinnier and skinnier. She could not weigh more than 85 pounds. She has never admitted that she has a meth problem. The only reason I know is because a former close friend of hers told me that she and my daughter use to smoke it on a daily basis. Since, her friend has turned her life around and no longer associates with my daughter. Since my daughter refuses to admit to me she has a problem, I just keep playing a game with her just to keep the door open so that we are on speaking terms. She has no job and even though she has been offered many, she never seems to take enough interest to apply. the lady that she stays with is my age and feels sorry for her and allows her to stay and in return my daughter supplies some groceries with her food stamps that are intended for her and the girls. I have tried to turn this situation over to God, and for the most part I have stayed strong in attempting to go on with my life. I am having a rough time lately sleeping just wandering what is going to become of her. I know that she is depressed and misses her kids, but yet she is not doing anything positive to change her situation. Am I just to sit back and ignore the situation?

TerryCa

Re: my daughter

Hello, so much of what your saying is like that of my daughter. The obvious signs of using drugs, weight loss, apathetic, lifeless and denial. I found not accusing but stating that I will support her treatment in rehab. has been the best communication with the least amount of hatred from her.

You are doing the right thing IMO, and giving the burden to God.

As long as the children are safe, loved and cared for then that is what needs to be done for them.

I would let your daughter know without any shadow of doubt that you love her. That you are there for her when she wants help getting away from drugs.

I wish you could change her, but we impatiently wait on the sidelines for the day that they run very fast from their addiction.

Strength/hope/love/hugs to ya

robinrue

Re: my daughter

stop "the game" your enabling- if u love her and I'm sure u do-this is not a game -tell her-i lov u - i know the game and I'm not playing -i lov ya-call me when you are ready for the help- i know you will need, and i pray you ask - mother of 20 year old meth addict

luvepiphany

Re: my daughter

Oh mom, you are doing and loving just as you should. You are the greatest!! Keep seeing those kiddos, they will be your life-line when the sadness hits for sure.

Keep coming back here where you are needed.

upagainst
thewall

Re: my daughter

"I have tried to turn this situation over to God"

I have so been there and done this. It is only when I finally admitted that I could not do it any longer and truly said here God she is your child deal with her , that things truly started to change. It is a very slow process but I see some changes. It will not happen overnight but I know God will handle this.

It is only a mom's nature to worry about our kids, no matter what age they are they are still our babies. God's blessings to you.

controller
197

thanks for the support

I appreciate all the support you all are giving me. I had the most horrible dream this morning that my daughter died. I cried and cried. So I emailed her and told her how much I love and miss her and I also let her know that I know she has a problem and that I am always here for her when she wants and needs help. thanks again for your comments. I am watching her girls today and they bring me joy!

Guene

Re: thanks for the support

controller1971 Good to see you again, I'm so sorry about your daughter, If you remember my daughter was on meth too, but she's says she's clean, I pray she is. At the first of the year my husband and I decided we couldn't live with her and her problems anymore so we sold our house and moved to Montana. It was the hardest thing we ever Had to do, but I also knew I couldn't deal with all the pain and my health problems anymore.

She seems to be doing good and she's working and has a really nice boyfriend, the point is I felt the same way, I can't leave her, I have to protect her, but she didn't care about how we as her parents felt, she only cared about herself, once we took that support blanket away, she knew she had to do it on her own and she is. Let go and let god, you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it, only she can. Love and Hugs Bobbie

controller
1971

my daughter

Thanks again, You put it plain and simple. I just have to continually remind myself!

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