Daughter off of Meth - Will us parents survive?

This has been just one of those days. Lets see yesterday I get diagnosed as being Bipolar. Today my day off thank goodness I get a call from the High School at 11:45 AM. My daughter is having another bad day (Highly Emotional) and they want to send her home. Its just not going well at all and she just hates school and is not doing well there. She only needs 3 credits to graduate thats the worst part. Well the vitamins she was taking thru her into this latest episode saying she could not stay awake and woke up so groggy. L-Tyrosine and L-Glutamine! Well anyway as bad as schools going and not knowing everyday if shes going to make it thru the day is putting a lot of stress on us 2 the parents and our jobs. I believe she hates school because the kids are mean to her and the drug use there is bad. Kids pulling her both ways and all like a rubber band being stretched. So my wife and I talk at lunch and we call a lady we know who does home schooling that we trust. We decide this is a good idea and we call her and she says yes get her out of there I,ll take care of this personally. We accept. We then go to a Dr. who signs the necessary paperwork and talks to my daughter. This Dr. knows the whole story with the meth use and all. My daughter tells her I was diagnosed as Bipolar yesterday and she calls me back in and says I want her evaluated like a light bulb went off. We set up a appointment for our daughter for Friday at 1PM to see if shes got what I have. My goodness my wife and I have no idea if the things we did today are the so called right thing to do? We are so confused and these emotional outburts are overwhelming. I guess I,d like some feedback to as if we are doing good by our daughter? As of this point were battle weary already and so confused! I do know one thing I,m ready to go crazy or have a heart attack! Just wondering which one comes first or if it matters? Dad

I don't even know what to say but this.... Kids don't come with owner's manuals, we just have to do the best we can with what we are given.

I don't know if you have read it or are interested but I am just starting to read The Purpose Driven Life. It seems to calm things when they seem chaotic and help answer questions that only ourselves and God can answer.

I am not always on but you can always send a note to my inbox or I can give you my e-mail addy.

You won't go crazy or have a heart attack! I'm in the same situation as your daughter. I refuse to take any medicine because I simply just don't like the idea of a pill for your problems- I won't even take aspirin for a simple headache. Medicine can help, but also have lots of side effects. Also, going to school was also one of the very reasons I got addicted to drugs. I could've graduated last year, but I never went to school because I just wanted to get high. So now I'm doing an internet high school, which is pretty much the exact same thing, same classes, even some people that went to my public high school are doing it. Maybe consider homeschooling or a virtual high school for her. Everybody I knew did drugs and my use lessened a lot when I wasn't around them anymore. Lessened though, not stopped. It will be better than nothing.

I know this all sucks, but slow down and take it moment by moment, step by step. First off, if you don't take care of yourself, you can never be in a position to help your daughter. So, take care of you - are you starting to take meds for the Bi-Polar thing? Try searching on the net for info about this.

I would have done the exact same thing you have done - pull her from the school and the kids. Homeschooling is very prevalent where I live. Our son was actually kicked out of school and we choose private schools. He struggled thru all that and finally was able to get his GED - I am very proud of him for that. He has learning disabilities and ADHD - similar issues as with bi-polar. From experience with other parents of kids with bi-polar (the popular disease of our times) I do think drugs can help stabalize the moods and help her function. I am normally against drugs but for these types of issues I believe they help.

I think it is difficult to diagnose these issues. And God knows that dealing with a child on Meth can make you completely insane and lose it and a child on Meth of recovering from Meth can make themselves into a basket case. Talk to the experts, do your own research, perhaps experiment with drugs for bi-polar. The right combination and answers are out there.

Scared Dad,
I'm with Bean. Are you doing the right thing? Who knows? Go with your gut!! That is all you can do. If it feels right, do it. This roller coaster ride is full of ups and downs and uncertainties. You are doing everything you can for your daughter. Feel good in knowing that sometimes there are no guarentees. If all your daughter likes is 3 credits to graduate and the home school will give her that, I say give it a try. You and your wife are GOOD parents. If things do not turn out like you hoped it is not because you failed as parents. That is so hard for parents to grasp. All you can do is all you can do. Just keep on caring and loving your daughter and the rest is up to her. I'll be lifting you up in my prayers.
cmom

Hang in there scared dad! Your daughter is lucky to have you and your wife doing all you two are to understand and keep her sober! But mostly I just wanted to tell you:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Even on your day your so worried bout her! I hope she knows how lucky she is to have parents like you two!

jesy

Thanks Jess thanks cmom we are trying! Dad

scared dad,
Just do your best your best is all you can do. i have a question for you tho your thinking the L-tyrosine and L-Glutamine thru her into the lastest episode? Just wondering why you think it was that? I also think if she wants to home school that is a good idea, the pressure at school may be to much for her right now maybe that is why she reacted today.
lori T

When you knew in the back of your mind that this would be the hardest thing any of you have been thru... today and days like today are the reason. There will be days that are much worse than you anticipated. The only way to the other side is THROUGH it. Keep pluggin' Dad. You're doing fine. This is not going to be fast, or simple, or easy. But the three of you WILL be stronger and closer WHEN you all reach the other side.

Hey Dad sent you an e-mail in your box, it will explain what was going on today. I think since she only needs 3 credits that the home schooling would be the best. She's having a hard time with the kids at school and believe me they can make her life hell. Kids today are so mean and hateful they don't even know how they can hurt. If you need to talk just e-mail me and I will do anything to help you and your wife. Love Bobbie

Hi Dad!

I think the home schooling is a really good idea, especially since she is has so little to go! I couldn't imagine trying to adjust to sober life while having to deal with high school and all the temptations and being trapped in that whole scene. It sounds like your daughter could really use the break.

Also, the emotional outbursts should be going away over time. The months after quitting meth tend to mimick the highs and lows of bipolar disorder in a lot of people. This is not to say that medication won't be helpful for her.

I got diagnosed as bipolar a few months after I got clean. This was after three sessions with a psychologist, and one with a psychiatrist. I am still not sure that I believe them - bipolar is a "flavor of the month" diagnosis IMHO in the recovery world. But what I /do/ know is that the meds I was prescribed - Depakote - have certainly taken the edge off.

I am still fickle, but not so much. I have a tendency to be "manic" most of the time, until I become physically and mentally overwhelmed, then I crash. My movements are a little slower and measured now and it makes it easier for me to get my act together.

You are on the right track, Dad, doing what is right and supporting your daughter - not demanding that she just "snap out of it". You rock!

grumps

Its so nice to hear the backing on the home school ALL OF YOUS. I think shes got way too much pressure on her at that school to! Thanks for the support and I think we need to settle in for the long haul! Dad