Meth Psychosis

My boyfriend and I have been smoking "@#%$" off and on or about 4 years. He had one it also prior to our binge. About a year and a half ago he started being a complete ass! Worse than ever before. He began by accusing me off cheating constantly and things progressed from there. Since May of 2005 he has shown all signs of schizophrenia. In the last week he ended up kicked out of his home and mine ,put himself in jail after throwing his 700.00 watch out the car window and hiding on a hillside covered by a tarp and then pulling out his tooth (due to thinking it was a tracking device) and then spending the night in the local hospital's mental ward and then going into a rehab program. However for a couple of days he had been clean and was still be=having EXTREMELY psychotic. Talking about his friends in the walls and everything. Has anyone else ever seen this and does it go away? I'm very worried as we've been together 9 years and have 2 children. I should also let you know, this psychosis has been developing for a good year and a half if not more. He hears voices and sees things that aren't there. He is very afraid at night. He knows he's lost it, but can't help himself. He used to be such a strong person and now he seems like an infant. He really believes the things he hears and sees. Now matter how hard we try to convince him other wise. I'm afraid he'll never be normal again.

My suggestion is to give him 2 weeks absolutely 100% clean, no meth or other amphetamines. If he still shows no progress in reducing his paranoid behavior, he should definitely seek medical help.

Yes I have seen it - and in my sister's case, it did go away when she quit using.
It took time though- longer than just 2 days.
I wasn't living with her at the time so I don't know just how bad it got.I know she would call me numerous times with paranoid thoughts - even so far as to believe her boyfriend had his new girlfriend in the room and was attempting to electrocute her.
Believable at the time because her boyfriend was also shooting up- except for one small thing. He wasn't there- he was in California at the time.
We live in Kentucky.
She would hear things, see things - I don't know to what extent though.
I just know once she got into rehab and had been clean for some time, she no longer had the delusions.

I can't say if that will be the case with your boyfriend.
Just sharing with you what I have experienced.

That makes me feel a little better. He would yell me how could I sit there and let them grab my a*s right in front of him. And he would repeatedly check under the bed for someone or tell me I had people calling for me outside of his house. Needless to say we lost our home of 4 years and each moved back in with our individual parents. At one point i time we made 80,000.00 a year together, now he's in rehab, no job and I'm on welfare. I pray that for my children's sake he can be the productive man he used to be. Thank you again for yoyr response. I won't know how he's doing for another 29 days as he can't have any contact til then. He's in the salvation army program.

He will never be the man he used to be- nor will you ever be the woman you once were.
But - big but here-
Maybe that isn't a bad thing?
Maybe just maybe you both can come back better than you were before meth.
Just maybe
It would be nice- sure would.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have been accused of sneaking people into our house while everyone is asleep. My husband set up wireless cameras in our bedroom and would be watching in the garage and would storm in and run up the stairs because he insisted saw someone in bed with me. Of course he would come up and I would be sleeping, then he would go through the closets, look under the bed, check the bathrooms looking for the person he saw. It was just a nightmare to have to live that way week after week. Then after he would crash for a few days he would go back and look at the tapes and low and behold there wouldn't be anything there - I must have erased it.

It got so bad at one point that I had to just leave and not talk to him so I didn't get to his level of sanity. It was crazy - he was the one doing meth and I was the one who couldn't sleep.

He has been clean a few weeks now and it is getting better. We can at least talk about it rationally and logically. The longer he his clean the more of the old him I see.

Until he gets help you will have to leave. There will be no reasinging with him because he can't think logically about these things while he is using. He truely beleives the things he sees and hears are there so you can't really tell him they are not and expect him to beleive. There is no telling where his thoughts will go, so for your safety you should go somewhere away from him where you wll be safe.

If you need to talk, let me know. I know exactally how you feel.

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pulling out his tooth (due to thinking it was a tracking device)

I've seen this exact behavior in the recent past - only the patient I knew pulled out ALL of his teeth for the same reason (Plus he thought the voices were coming from his teeth.) It's so strange how "Tracking devices" are a common theme with meth psychosis.

If your boyfriend stays clean, the psychosis might clear up. It would clear up even faster if her were on antipsychotic medication (Plus NO METH.)

Do the rest of you re me telling you about an 18 year old friend of my daughter who was on the psych unit with a severe meth psychosis? The good news is, although it took 2 months or more, she is FINALLY not psychotic, realizes she was sick, and admitted to having stayed up for 13 days on meth. She is still on medication, which will probably be titrated down to see if she can be off all meds.

Sometimes people don't come back, but it is very possible that your boyfriend can come back under the right circumstances - NO MORE DOPE, and with some medication too.

Are YOU going to stop using, livingwithinsanity?

OMG. Pulling out your own teeth. OUCH big time. That is just crazy. Time to say nope to dope.

Kell - it gets worse.

This guy not only pulled out all of his own teeth, FIRST he took a red hot metal rod and forced it through his cheek to "Burn" the "Transmitter" out of his gums. Then, after he pulled his teeth out, he carved some "New Teeth" out of hardened epoxy, which he had placed sharpened, flattened pieces of copper (From pennies) into. He f-ing HAMMERED THESE THINGS INTO HIS JAWBONE, DUDE! They looked like Horse Teeth. I took him to the dentist because his breath smelled like the bay at low tide... the dentist looked into his mouth and said... "Where did you get these..... dentures?" LOL - he had to go to a surgeon under general anesthesia to have them removed. I don't think he could feel pain!

OMG-UGH. That is AWFUL!

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I don't think he could feel pain!

I saw my son run a 16 penny nail thru his hand and pull it back out like it was nohing. He didn't even flinch. I asked him about it later and said it was just anger. He was totally fried that day and I knew it. I think they must not be able to feel pain.

My friend knows a guy that would get drunk and pull his teeth. He couldn't affort a dentists, said they hurt, so he yanked them out, but not all at once.

So sad.

Okay the tooth thing with my boyfriend started about 2 years ago when he swore it was an infected tooth and went to the dentist and made them do a root canal(unecessarily)They only did a partial root anal as all they did was fill it with cement and told him to come back later for a crown. The medicine inside the root canal came out and the tooth had been loose ever since. By the way his tooth hurt because he grinds his teeth in his sleep especially on a come down.
Anyhow as for myself I REALLY want to quit, but don't have anyone to help me with my children and I mean NO ONE while I go through the endless need to sleep during initial detox. His family is helping him , but they blame everything on me even though he did meth before I came along and he was lying to me about it off and on in the begining of our relationship. I lso worry about the depression for myself because I think being depressed is what started me on meth in the first place. I definetly don't need any help becoming depressed.

Find some help. A mother who is loaded all the time is no better than one who finds a babysitter to get off meth.

I never said I was loaded all the time and I don't use to get HIGH anymore and I don't do it every day. Besides like I said my family is barely letting me use a part of 1 of 3 unused bedrooms where I can't even use the closets nor put my own dresser in here. My clothes and my children's are stored in boxes and my car after I wash them so as you see asking for help with my children, yeah right. And as far as friends I no longer have any after I moved and changed my number so people would stop calling me and asking me to score for them. My best friend of 16 years thought getting high with my boyfriend behind my back was more important than our friendship where I had ALWAYS been there for her. So my situation is really screwed. I wish I had help, but i don't see it coming anywhere in the near future.

I know exactly how you feel. I had very little help when I quit, plus being pregnant, and taking care of a husband with severe injuries from a self-inflicted gun shot wound. It was only by the grace of God that I made it (3 years clean)and my family is still together. If you really want help quitting I know that there are rehabs out there that allow you to bring your children with you. I will search for them again if you are interested. It'll be hard, but not impossible.

I completly ripped open my face day in and day out. Thinking something was in my skin. voices were heard as little demons floating around my room smiling at me. Meth craziness is so scary because you TRULY believe it to be real

It would be great to be able to take my kids with me, however the women's rehab in my area has a waiting list for the division where they allow children. To get on the waiting list you have to be in the program already, which means I would still have to have someone to watch my kids for a minimum of 3 weeks. By the way I live in the Silicon Valley area. (California)

Voices Yes I herd them as well as Seeing things. Though a question was asked by a Doctor. Did I hear these voices last year? Did I see these things before I was Hi? Eventually I had to put my trust in people who were not using. I was swept away in an ocean full of meth. I had to believe in what these Non Using Family ,Friends as well as Health Care Professionals were telling me. They are not the ones who are getting hi I was. A couple of things slowly started to click. While I was clean for a few weeks I would still hear things. When I would look around the room. I noticed the rest of the family was carrying on. Even after I just herd something. They would not respond to what I just herd. I started to put it to together. If I really herd what I just herd. My family and even strangers around us would of reacted if the sound or sight was real. What was tuff was I did here it. It sounded so real in my mind. A few times I would double and triple check with them too see if they herd or seen what I did . I had to filter out my hallucinations. It was very important that I was with people who don't use and that I trusted. This would confirm that the things I was hearing were just that. I was hearing stuff. Eventually those voices and thoughts slowly go away. But its a process. Even if Your not using sleep deprivation can cause auditory hallucinations. What's crazy was when I was going crazy I thought they were the ones who were crazy.. Now that I have been clean for over 14 months. I can truly see how crazy I was. If You hang out with crazy people they will drive You crazy!!!!
 

*ahem*

I pulled one of my own teeth, because it HURT.
and it had a sharp edge that kept cutting my tongue and prevented me from giving blow jobs to my ex- boyfriend.

I was high,
but as many toothaches as I had at that time, it felt good to rip it out with needle nose pliers.

I heard whispers and saw glimpses,

...but I knew it was the drug.

See my boyfriend told me that he was hearing things almost two years ago but never said anything. I think he used to like the sounds and sights he get when he was tripin. I think he got so wrapped up in them that he could no longer distinguish the difference between real and fake. As soon as he started letting everyone know how bad he'd been trippin it just blew up. I think when he told his family and friends what was going on with him, it made him comfortable to let everyone SEE him trip, because once they knew it only took about a month for him to completely lose it. I heard from his brother (who is also in the Salvation Army program for 6 months already) that his first night there was really bad. He was tripin and kept alot of the guys awake all night as he gets very scared and paranoid when night hits. It's all pretty sad to me. He had been tripin so hard for so long that my 8 year old daughter is happy he hasn't been around.

He straight up accused me of having someone touching me while he was in front of my face talking to me. He thought the tooth was a tracking device? Go figure, and the $700.00 watch he threw out the window, was probably believed to be a tracking device too. He wouldn't tell me why he threw it. Oh yeah and I'm not sure what happened to his car, but it was towed and his parents went and got his belongings out of it. So now he doesn't even have a car anymore. Meth made him a TOTAL LOSER

Livingwithinsanity,

I hear a lot of excuses from you as to wh you can't quit.

What are you doing to change that situation so that you CAN quit?

If you don't make changes, nothing will ever change.

It is your job to remedy the road blocks.

I'm not making alot of wxcuses. The fact is I have none tohelp me and I'm not going ro just walk away from my kids. My mother doesn't give a @#%$ about me and the rest of my family live out of state. You have no idea how strongly I mean it when I say I have NO ONE. And honestly I have no ambition to du much of anything, for years I stressed and qorked very hard to keep my family going good and the result is my situation now. All that for nothing

Oh yeah and my start towards a change is coming to this site and talking about my problems to absolute strangers. For me that's progress because a year ago I wouldn't even admit to having a problem.

Almost 11 years ago, I and my husband both were hooked on meth.
We had 5 children - 12 and under , the youngest being a year old.
I quit- he quit. We had nobody - no family- had never had any family other than my sister and his brother. My sister was shooting up and his brother was in jail.
It wasn't easy- not at all.
But we did it.
The house wasn't the cleanest it had been for awhile, I took naps with my baby, went to sleep early, made myself get up in the morning and do it all again.
He had no vacation time, had lost his one job because of meth- so wasn't about to lose a new job with 7 mouths to feed and no food stamps or AFDC.
It wasn't easy but he did it.

Nothing ever worth having is easy - Yes I do commend you on your first step - it is a big one to admit there is a problem.
That is the hardest part - but the very first huge step in making your life a better one.

For every reason you have to use, there are 10 more for why you shouldn't.
That is what you have to hold on to.

I know this sounds corny - truly I do- but as a mother myself it is the first thing that comes to my mind.
That one children's story - the little engine that could.

I think I can I think I can

I told you it was corny

You can do what you set your mind to- You just have to believe in yourself.
I think I can.

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The fact is I have none tohelp me

Call those places Penelope took the time to find for you, and see what you can do. If they have wait lists, get on them. If they have requirements, get them done. You can do it.

You don't want to lose your kids. Continuing to use poses the biggest risk in just that.

Dude...
they will TAKE your kids one day if you don't stop now.
none of us could stop either,

..... till we did.

if you don't think it can be done, don't interrupt those who are doing it.

*smiles* you can.

Your kids should be the one of the MAIN reasons to get into treatment. I have 5 kids, 4 of which I have. 9,7,5, and almost 1. I made it work, if you dont make something work you will probably go back out. People here have been there done that.

If you want it, make something work. Start going to meetings daily. Hook up with people who know your struggle and want to help. Tweaker friends dont want ya to win this battle. Misery loves company. Do some search. You will lose your kids eventually. If not what happens if you get caught by the police. They dont give a @#%$ and will put those kids in a foster home and worst off separte them.

Take a look at what is not working and focus on making changes so life starts to work for you. If your ole man is not along for the SOBRIETY boat, you need to walk on for your child(ren).

We offer friendship and honesty here. We here at KCI KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!
 

Wow, your story feels too familiar to my own. I have two kids and no family either. My husband's family blames me for all the problems we've ever had. Three years ago, he attempted to commit suicide and they haven't spoken to me since.
 

I was alot worse off a year and a half ago, when I was selling dope. I got pulled over, my car searched, the officer insisted I was high, but I hadn't done any that day ( I was on my way to go get it) he let me go with a ticket and finger printed me. When my boyfriend and I broke up we got in a big fight andI called teh police and got a temporary restraining order against him and they called cps. Nothing happened because of it. My mother whom I currently live with works for the child protective services, so I have a little advantage there. She made sure the case was closed. I used to do a ball in 2 days, now I wouldn't even have that much at any given time. And it seems like everyone here thinks I have no intentions of quiting, but since I signed up on this sight I haven't used. I'm trying to build up the courage to go into treatment. Oh and outpatient wouldn't work for me. I need to go somewhere where there are no triggers for me, because around my home, just about everything sets me off. In fact I have a pretty stronge urge right now, but hopefully my son will let me nap next to him while he watches aq movie so I can get rid of the feeling. See I have quit before, for 3 years. And I did instantly, when I found out I was pregnant with my son. It was really easy then but my life was alot more togfether then too.

Oh yeah rthanks for the info on rehab-Mariposa and house on the hill are the same facility-First you go on the waiting list while in Mariposa then if you get accepted into house on the hill, they transistion you.
Honestly my sister is trying to get me to move to Washington where she is and I will be going if my kids Dad doesn't improve any because if he doesn't I don't want them around him.

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Oh and outpatient wouldn't work for me. I need to go somewhere where there are no triggers for me,

Why not? The only place on earth with no triggers is in a pine box 6 feet under. You will have to learn how to handle triggers. Avoiding them only puts you right back where you are now when you can no longer avoid them.

Why not TRY some of these programs? What is the harm in trying?

Did you use the link I posted to check on NA meetings in your area?

Amen loraura

Run to washington! I mean really, @#%$ your man, think of
you and children. If he wants to live a life with you...CLEAN. He will get it together.

You can do this.

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My mother whom I currently live with works for the child protective services

Your mother works with CPS, but she won't help you with the kids while you work on your life? How do you know outpatient won't work for you, have you tried it?

You have to learn how to deal with triggers in every day life, so why not start now? My connection lives 10 minutes from here - the triggers are WITHIN YOU, not outside of you. Trust me on this. You can't know what won't work until you give it a try. Of course, you'll either do it or you won't. We are just trying to encourage you to get your life back, that's all.

My kids Dad is getting help. He is in a 6 month in patient program and I recieved a letter from him and "sounds" like he's doing better. Alhough I'm alot less stressed out without him around and everyone keeps telling me I look happier and the wrinkle inbetween my eyes from frowning is gone. Plus without his stress I don't really feel like getting high.And if everyone knew my WHOLE story of my life you would agree Washington is good for me. Also I didn't see a post with any link so if you could post again I would appreciate it.
PS. I just spent a night w/some friends I haven't seen in about a year and had a great time SOBER

His stress does not make you want to get high, YOU MAKE yourself get high. There is not one thing a person can do to make you put drugs in your body. I was raped as a child, abused,lived on streets, my mother n law was my crack supplier, my friend(so called)my meth dealer, my husband(before he left)still brought drugs into my house...still I am choosing to be dope free...WHY????????????/

Because it does not work!

NA WORKS.TREATMENT WORKS. DRUGS DONT WORK.

the thing is, darling you must want freedom over drugs more then anything else. In the end your children will thank you. Do you think they dont know? My son was 3 trying to make his 1 year old a bottle because he knew something was wrong with mommy to let him cry and not be able to get away from the bathroom long enough to go make it. Kids have great intuition. They are very sensitive. The senses are what gets them around at a young age.

We smell. We act stupid. We neglect. We are not able to do drugs and CARE for CHILDREN.

Please seek help.
 

I'm in the same situation with my ex and i'm dealing with it everyday now painfully. He is taking medication which seems to help but the paranoia creeps back every so often. He use to think that i was cheating on him. He thought cameras were in the tv and computer. He moved out of my place because he didn't feel safe. He thought he was hypnotized and everyone is out to get him. He's lost a lot of friends and some of them just don't understand what meth could do to a person. Some days he can trust me and his family but other days the paranoia triggers and all the delusions come back. I understand when you say that he truly believes everything is true and happening. He tried to commit suicide because it was too overwhelming and was told by the doctor that taking the meds and seeing a pyschiatrist should help. He won't go and talk about it because he thinks all the events are true. I can't convince him and he use to trust me completly before all this happened. I've been struggling with this and it's painfull. I'm so depressed and overwhelmed with it all but can't seem to let go and not support him through this. I cry all the time and wonder if it's every going to end.

I think that in time it'll get better, when I was on drugs and up for days, I would start tripp'in thinking that there were people after me and wouldn't rest until I felt safe, like calling my mom at 3:00 in the morn. and going to her house to sleep in the closet. I know what your saying about being accussed of cheating my husband was on that trip for awhile. He would come and go through all of my things hoping to find some type of clue, he even ask me to take off my clothes to look for evidence. I caught him trying to put a phone device on my phone so that he could listen to my phone calls. One time he got pulled over and our car impounded and after we got it back, he swore up and down that they had installed a tracking device. I know exactly what your going through from both points of view, I've had to deal with my husbands addiction as for my own. if you ever need someone to talk to let me no. I was a mother addicted to drugs with two small children and now clean for 5 years. It's possible!