Assignment from my sponsor

I had to write a list, throughout the week, of things I DID have power over, and things I was POWERLESS over, probably to help me get the theme of what I really, truly had power over, which, I discovered, isn't a lot. Ok. I get it. I really do.

I was also supposed to write a short little paper about what it looks like when I HAVE POWER OVER something, and what it would look like if I let that power go.

Well, the theme I discovered was that I have power over my actions and choices. That's it. So, if I "let the power go", then, by an example:

I have power over what clothes I choose to wear and whether or not I put on makeup. If I LET GO of that power, wouldn't that get me to work without clothes and with no makeup? Or would my husband pick it out (ohhhh, scary). Or is that something I have to turn over to my Higher Power as well as my addiction?

Am I making sense?

Well, try one day letting hubby pick out the clothes and the decision on whether or not to put on makeup...make sure you have time to decide whether or not to take back control...I am assuming he has no idea of color
co-ordination...LOL.

And yes if it makes sense to you it makes sense.

Oh and by the way... that little item of making sure you have time to decide whether to take back your own reins or go with his ideas...please, please at least try it all on and take pics...we wanna see too!

If you let the power go, then yes, someone would have to dress you and yes you are making sense.

I would dress you as...oh... A MIME. Yeah...that's the ticket - white pancake makeup with drawn on eyelashes, one of those silky jester suits and the hat with the bells...

I actually HAVE one of those hats, now that I think about it. Maybe I need to stop right here.

Literally LOL. Everyone thinks I've lost it here at work.

"What's so funny over there?"

I really DO have one of those hats, you know.

Last year for Halloween, I went to work dressed as...

THE VILLAGE IDIOT!

(sniff, sniff) Am I to take it no pics? (sniff, sniff)

No pics. Actually, I was "Nurse" village idiot - scrubs, the hat, and the whole white pancake makeup deal.

I seriously looked like an idiot

Hey - your husband is going to tell you some idiot named Penelope IMed him today thinking it was YOU...

That was me.

That's okay. He completely forgot. I asked him about it, he said, "oh, yeah."

Tell ya what. If I'm the one on here, I'll IM you.

Anyway, I met with my sponsor, and she felt I'm ready for step 2.

My new assignments? (She let me do this one that had me stumped verbally, with her tonight. We did a lot of talking) I have to DEFINE step 2, in other words, I have to look up the defenitions of each word. Then I have to write a goodbye letter to meth.

Is there a right or wrong way to say goodbye to meth? I'm angry at it, DONE with it, FED UP with it, and happy to be free from the insanity. Did anyone else write a goodbye letter? If so, could you share it with me, in private if you want? I had written one earlier, when I was at rehab, on my own. I needed to say goodbye. But my sponsor wants me to write a new one, one that reflects how I feel today.