Raising a Meth Baby - Need Help!

Chantilly

Help! Raising a Meth Baby

I am raising a baby whose mother was & is addicted to meth. See was on meth during pregnancy & I am pretty sure she is on it now. Her son is 8 months old & she is 6 months pregnant. Every time I go to pick him up from the parents house about a day later he is banging his head on anything he can. I NEED HELP to find out what soothes them or just what to do.

Guene

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

Welcome to the board and I'm so sorry to hear about the baby. I really don't know anything about that, but I'm glad that you are here. Best wishes Guene

sweetJR

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

omg, please intervene and call CPS! Just reading this upsets me! She needs to be locked up until this other baby comes and then the baby put in a safe home! Same with the 8 month old! the banging head thing , omg, just makes me ill to think if it is from meth exposure.

TnSkye

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

Hi Chantilly
I'm sorry you had to find us for this.

Have you spoken with a doctor about this? There are various reasons why a baby would be doing this, from meth or otherwise.

This is truely, truely sad. I have a 6 month old niece and I can't imagine her banging her head...Something is definately wrong with this picture. Best of luck to you. Keep us informed, won't you?

Babies born to meth mothers is still 'experimental' I guess you could say. We know 'this' could happen and 'that' could happen, but for the most part, the children appear to be normal.

We do have a friend here who has recently found out that her young daughter is ADHD and is likely due to her meth use during pregnancy, but no one can know for sure.

imlostinky

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

Have him evaluated through a knowledgeable pediatrician.
Banging head is often a sign of autism.

Does he show emotion? Can you see his smiles in his eyes?
How is he with connecting and bonding?
Does he rock back and forth quite a bit?

I'd have a pediatrician who is experienced with autism do an evaluation.
Most definitely.
The banging of the head is an indication of something going on - emotional or physical.

Naiev Newlywed

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

Chantilly,

First off welcome...I'm glad you're here.

SweetJR is right, you need to intervene...wondering what is going to "soothe" the child I think should be the least of the worries...let's get the baby out of the situation.

Are you in a position to do that? Legal intervention needs to happen....in my opinion.

sickandtired77

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

Yeah- I was thinking that too, JR.

The best advice I can give you is to keep that baby away from the parents! If they are using meth, then the baby obviously has no place there.

Now...

If she is 6 months along now, then that should be far enough along for the fetus to be considered viable...
Meaning that the authorities CAN step in to make sure she doesn't use for the remainder of this pregnancy.

Not reporting the incident(s) is doing a favor to NO ONE.

I'd say (without hesistation) that you should CALL THE LAW!

Chantilly

Meth Baby

I have been asked to be the legal gaurdian for this child & the unbron child when the girl goes to jail for a few months. I have signed papers to be the gaurdian but it is a revockable contract that the mother could revock at any time. I picked him up last sat night they said sunday that they would call for him in a hour or 2. Its been 2 days now. They might have left the country

imlostinky

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

Good info here

Quote:
But children who are overstimulated (in an overwhelming environment) find these rhythmic movements soothing.

Ah Ha - lightbulb.

S&T , yep without a doubt.

Chantilly

Meth Baby

He does show emotion but is a very irritable baby. Short attention span, constantly wanting to bounce or shake his head.

sickandtired77

Re: Meth Baby

If you report what's going on, then you should be able to file a temporary order stipulating full custody for the time being.

Just a suggestion.

sweetJR

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

chantily, like you say the thing you signed has no binding; get an attorney and make it binding so they can't do the wander in and wander out of the child(ren)'s lives! you are the start of a major hero for these two; make it permanent for them and you!

Guene

Re: Meth Baby

He needs a good doctor and love. How very sad, poor thing, please find some help for him and I agree with everybody here, she would be turned in. Hugs Guene

Chantilly

Meth Baby

I am trying to get her to go to The Agape House( its a chritian based transitional home in our town for women who are drug dependant), our church & myself are involved deeply with them.

Naiev Newlywed

Re: Meth Baby

What is her reaction to this Chantilly?

Has she expressed any desire?

Chantilly

MEth Baby

She is sentenced to go to jail for at least 4 months but the jail is full & doesnt want to pay for a c-section so they are letting her wait until the baby is born. Her & her boyfriend did come to church yesterday & she shows signs of being able to be reached but the baby's daddy is a tough shell

sickandtired77

Re: MEth Baby

Is she going to jail on meth-related charges?

dells

Re: Help! Raising a Meth Baby

Is CPS involved, is the time with the parents "visits", is the child with you all the time except for visits? I would say any time at all with parents needs to be supervised. If the guardianship is not mandated by the court then it should be, none of this back & forth stuff with this baby. Regarding the child in utero, call CPS now to protect that baby till birth.
Are you willing to take both babies? God Bless you, these babies need you!

Chantilly

MEth Baby

Yes she is going on drug charges. Plus the boyfriend has a warrent for his arrest. As soon as she goes off I am calling his Parole Officer. I am just afraid she will hit the road if he gets put in jail.

Naiev Newlywed

Re: MEth Baby

If you get him out of the way now, maybe she'll check into treatment though....let's think about that?

cmom

Help

Chantilly,
By all means, contact CPS and also have the child checked out by a pediatrician.
cmom

Chantilly

Meth Baby

I am willing to take the babies full time. Right now I am just a substitute Grandma. On the other hand I am in my 40s with adult children who dont have any kids yet so raising a child & getting used to the late nights again is a big adjustment.

sickandtired77

Re: MEth Baby

With the current situation, you should have no problem getting that order for full custody.

My understanding as to how this works is that you would file the order, stating your reason. Then she would be court-ordered to a drug test. When she doesn't pass, you win... simple as that.

I would also presume since she is currently pregnant, that she would be incarcerated NOW rather than after the baby is born as a means to protect this baby from being further subjected to her drug use.
Once the fetus is considered viable, it IS a punishable crime for her to still be using.

What state are you in?

sickandtired77

Re: MEth Baby

Only asking what state you are in because I know the info I've given is good for Oklahoma...

I just don't know for sure how things work everywhere else!

Chantilly

Re: MEth Baby

Does anybody have experience with this type of child? I didnt know if there were any suggestions or comments on what to do or expect.

sickandtired77

Re: MEth Baby

I researched a bit & would recommend that you check into Arkansas SB-114.

TnSkye

Re: MEth Baby

SFJ recently posted an article about a woman in Hawaii whose drug use caused her unborn child to die. I forget all the details. There was something about it living for 4-5 days. I guess she had a c-section???

Any way, the judge said she was innocent because the fetus was not a living being. This was the woman who now works for Doug Chapman-Dog, The Bounty Hunter.

sickandtired77

Re: MEth Baby

The link that imlostinky provided gives some good info regarding the child's behavior.

You should read that if you haven't already.

Actually, it says that chldren who bang their heads may end up being VERY intelligent.

Check it out!

Amom

my case different

I really hesitate to mention this, it is very embarrassing. I think you will have to follow up with Dr. But I was a head banger -I bet it was to soothe but our house was only moderately disfunctional,(just some yelling in an Italian household. no drinking, definatley no drugs, no physical punishments. if there is such a thing. I am 50 ( gulp ) now. I did out- grow it far as I know! But they even put a plastic curler in my hair. They were afraid I would hurt myself. Even the neighbors could hear it! I was always high strung and never have slept well. Even before all of this crap.
Just wanted you to know it may not be a serious problem but you will want to follow it up, It for me was more like chewing on a pencil or tapping fingers I guess.

nanobanano

Re: my case different

hERE IS ONE GOOD LINK I FOUND...THERE ARE MANY MORE OUT THERE THAT MAY HELP YOU!

www.kidsource.com/kidsour...#Resources

A while back I found an excellent site about drug exposed or affected children, but can't find it now......there are more and more resources out there, as the problem is getting worse. I'd also suggest going to sites about "reactive attachment disorder" as they have many suggestions about caring for children exposed to drugs in-utero......you will find many links to help you from these sites.

My step-grandaughter was exposed to meth in-utero in the first few months of her mother's pregnancy and was a head banger, rarely made eye contact....did not respond to smiles and human interaction as "normal" babies do....I learned all I could and worked, and worked, and worked with her.....she is now 8 and still has some problems, such as impulsiveness, aggressive behavior, no empathy and compassion etc......she's learned the proper responses in given situations through constant reinforcement and repetition, but left to her own devices, her responses are not driven by conscience, but rather by what she's been taught.....for instance, she will still at times, step over or around a hurt/bleeding/crying playmate in the yard, seemingly oblivious to their pain, and rush to an adult asking for a popsicle or something she wants at the moment....she must constantly be reminded of the proper response....stopping to see if playmate is ok etc.

Learn, learn, learn all you can.....these childrn need CONSISTENCY, FIRM BOUNDARIES, LOTS OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION/EYE CONTACT AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!

GOOD LUCK....YOU HAVE MY ADMIRATION AND RESPECT .....THIS CHILD NEEDS YOU....YOU WILL NEED LOTS OF SUPPORT FOR YOURSELF TOO....THIS IS NOT AN EASY JOB, BUT IT IS SOOOOO WORTH IT!

Chantilly

Re: my case different

Thank you! I know this will be a long road but I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. This poor girl has no family therefore no grandparents for the baby. She wants to be a good mother but she has got to do some kind of transition first to get off drugs. I just want to ring her neck thinking that she is bringing another baby into that kind of world & I know she is probably still using.

Chantilly

Re: my case different

If anybody else finds a site that tells more about how to work with exposed infants-toddlers please let me know.

RancidOne

Re: Help

I used to live in a house with two babies that had been borm from a meth addicted mother. The little girl who was 4 years old did not speak one word of english. She cried like she was 1 year old. Or less. She hadn't developed the skills of a 4 year old child because of a lack of ineraction with her mother. The child was neglected.

The son was 1 year old and was kept locked up in a crib 24/7. If someone walked past his room he would hold his arms out to you and cry. Then when he couldn't see you anymore he would bawl his poor little eyes out for hours. I used to go in there daily and sit and play with him. I was using at the time but I still wanted to take those children from her.

Meth babies mostly require a LOT of love and an extra ammount of attention. Depending on how old they are they might have been missing years of developing the necessary skills to live. Please do what's right for these children and get them into a safe home.

Take care,
Matt

Guene

Re: Help

Oh Matt that is the saddest thing I've ever heard, I've got tears in my eyes, those poor babies. Bobbie

Chantilly

Re: Help

I am so glad I found this room. Thank You All Very Much.

Chantilly

Re: Help

The little boy is 8 months old & cant really sit up by himself. I have worked with him this week on & off and he is getting so good at it. Also when I went to feed him baby food he looked at the spoon, didnt know what it was, wdidnt know how to open up his mouth. Most babies by then should be able to do those kind of things.

RancidOne

Re: Help

None of the meth addicts in that house knew how to take care of a kid. When the little girls mom would leave she would throw a fit.. Kicking and screaming so loud I could hear her from outside like 200 ft away. It was a shitty neighborhood and no one ever called the cops on her. Her mom would run off to score more dope and not come home for a day or two. The girl would cry herself to sleep then wake up franticaly looking for her mom. Whoever was home at the time would just tell the baby to shut up.

I took it upon myself one time to pick her up (she was big.. a 4yr old crying and throwin a fit like a 2yr old) She looked at me and fell right asleep in my arms. I felt sooo bad for those kids. But I was in no position myself to help them.

All the addicts in the house were amazed that the kid stopped crying. They couldn't get near her or she would hit them. All I had to do was show a little love and caring and she loved me right back. Unconditionaly.

Take this opertunity and take care of these children. They deserver a better life.

Chantilly

Re: Help

All they want is what a normal person wants..............Love. I noticed the back of his head is somewhat flat I figure that is from leaving him in his craddle so long at a time alone.

jacksmom

Re: Help

Yes, I agree that the banging head thing is not normal for a baby.

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