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Parents with adult kids that use meth


owiangel Parents with kids that use meth
Please help. I have a 20 year old daughter that I believe is still using. But because she is over 18, I can't force her to do anything about it. When I ask her about it, she (of course) denies it. She has been in treatment once and after treatment once. She also has a 18month old son that I'm afraid will someday suffer as a result of this. My daughter is currently homeless and goes from place to place where ever she can con into letting her stay there, more times than not (when he isn't my house or his other grandparents) is with her. I don't believe she uses in front of him, but every chance she gets to have a weekend free with out him, I think she is using. Short of calling the county on her and risking my grandson going to a foster home, any other suggestions? I am running out of options.
     Replies...
Rancid
One
Re: Parents with kids that use meth
Sorry you had to find us like this.

I don't have the answers you seek, because I dont have any kids that use. Well Actually i dont have any kids. But I do have parents that use. And I myself was an addict from the age of 13 to 22.

You will find a world of support and answers here. This forum is a very busy place durring the week.

Expect to get a LOT of replies in the morning, right now most of the regulars here are asleep. Be sure to check your thread again in the morning.

Best of luck to you and your family.
jacks
mom
Re: Parents with kids that use meth
My daughter is a minor in recovery as we speak. Since she is a minor we still have a bit of control over the situation, but when she's an adult she's going to do what she wants to and I hope her choices then are better than her past ones.

First and foremost you DO have to contact someone about the child. If he/she isn't able to stay with you right now a foster home is the next best choice. You may not think so now, but the safety of your grandchild is at stake! A family friend had two foster kids, brothers, that saw their grandparents all the time but had limited and only saw parents with case workers there. The parents were druggies. These kids weren't removed from the home soon enough and it took a lot of time and patience to get thier lives in order.

Also, if someone is contacted and you prove that your daughter is incompetent to take care of a child then she will only be able to see her child when she tests clean.
djmom
11
Re: Parents with kids that use meth
Unfortunatley there isn't a lot you can do except for be there for her, when she is ready to get clean. My daughter is 20 and in recovery. I am thankful for that every day. But it was a long hard road. You have to think of your grandchild. If you don't want to call the county you can always try to file for legal guardianship of the child, because if she is using, she is not taking care of him properly. But even if you do call the county there is always the possiblity that they will place him with you. Because a relative placement is preferable to foster care. If you haven't, check into Alanon or something of the sort, and keep coming here. Both can help you get through all this. My prayers are with you.
dells Re: Parents with kids that use meth
I am the parent of a 25 yr daughter in recovery almost 6 mos., she has a 3 1/2 yr old daughter of whom I have legal guardianship. In Sept 2003 I turned granddaughter's parents in to CPS regarding their meth use, so so hard to do, but necessary for my little granddaughter! CPS tried to work with the parents re: recovery but to no avail, during that time child was left with me. May 2004 I petitioned the court for legal guardianship, granted in Dec 2004.
The parents continued in their addiction, no jobs, no home, living from place to place. No place for a child!!
That child is more than likely subjected to unsafe people, places, and CPS would very likely place him with you or another relative rather than foster care. The parents are not making good, safe choices for him right now, you need to make this choice for them!
My daughter was very angry with me back then, accused me of stealing her child, so be prepared to deal with the same. In recovery only one week and my daughter was thanking me for caring for her daughter while she couldn't.
TnSkye Re: Parents with kids that use meth
Keep coming here and reading. There are many parents of addicts here. Some of the 'kids' are still active addicts, some are recovering. There's alot to learn here!
Guene Re: Parents with kids that use meth
Welcome and I too am a parent of an addict. Im so sorry to hear about your daughter, they have to want to quit, but if you fear for your grandchild maybe you should take care of the child until your daughter can give it home. Children need a safe home and alot of love which grandma can give right now better then mom can. Love Bobbie
tenah Re: Parents with kids that use meth
my daughter, age 28 with no prior drug problems that we know about is hooked on 'ice' recently seperated from her 10 year common law husband who was abusive. after several months of staying in the house ,never going anywhere crying over him with me telling her things would get better and she hd 2 great boy's and they deserved better. well she finally starting getting out of the house more and ran into some old school frieds. i thought this would be good for her. i was wrong they introduced her to "ICE" and it's beev hell since. we bgan to notice changes in her personality (ill,rude) then weight loss, then staying out all night and not spending any time with her boy's then i started missing money $10,$20 and now even $100. she denies everything. the people she hangs with are sorry no job, steals, live where ever ,lost their kids, if you had known my daughter a year ago this would shock you as it has some people who know her. a couple of months ago she was pulled over by the police for speeding. he said he noticed she was too nervous and searched her finding a pipe with appr $20 worth of ice. this has not slowed her down any. i tinl she belives eveything will be ok and the way she's living will be ok too. meth has taken my daughter away i know longer know this person and certainly don't like her. and her kids have suffered also they know mom isn't the loving mom she use to be. maybe when she goes to court it will turn out to be a good thing. her being an adult in the state of ga. ties your hands. and she is also a brittle diabetic,3 shots a day. i know she will be taken from us if not by jail time, it will be death she weighs appr 100lbs and rarely takes her insulin as she should. please pray for christy and my family as i will pray for any family going through "meth hell"
Nana44 Re: Parents with kids that use meth
I am the parent of an addict in recovery, and the grandma (and legal guardian) of a 19mo grandson. I will tell you first that I have not done everything right, but one thing I wil never, ever regret is getting guardianship of my gs. Being with meth addicts, whether using at the time or not, is absolutely no place for a child. And how on earth could anyone provide a stable or safe (much less nurturing) environment for a child if they are basically on the streets?

You cannot do anything for your daughter until she wants help and is ready to do the hard work to get her life together. But, you do have an obligation, IMO, to do everything you can for your grandchild.

I (indirectly) got CPS involved....and when that didn't work (they saw my gs already in my home and doing fine...so they saw no reason to get involved) I contacted a lawyer and filed for guardianship.

I realize not every grandparent can take in a grandchild. It is hard. Much harder than I ever imagined. But, given a choice between foster care or abandoning him to his meth-addicted parents I would not have hesitated one minute to opt for foster care.

And yes, the parents are mad at me. I "stole" their son. I don't care what they think. Someday they'll mature and realize that I loved them....and their son, more than they were capable of at the time. And when (if) the time comes that they are ready, willing and able to be the parents they should be they will be getting a child who has not been damaged by their addiction and all the side effects.

In the meantime, my grandson is not being bounced around, is not ignored, is fed and changed, has a normal schedule and is played with....and loved. He is #1 to me, like he should have been to his parents, but meth came first.

I know it's not easy. I know how much, as a parent, you want to see that everything is ok, that you don't have to get involved, that you won't have to disrupt your life.

But if it's not, and you know it, you have to do something....now.

See also:

Distraught parent of 43 yr. old adult meth user

A mother on meth


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