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Engaged to an ex-addict - wanting to try Meth


giveme
credit
Engaged to an ex-addict
I kinda stumbled on the board whilst looking for info on meth, and it seems fairly active, so I figured I'd ask my questions here.

Background:
Just over a year ago, I met an American girl (I'm English and live in London) while she was in London visiting Friends. I spent three days with her, and within that three days, I realised I found someone special.

I stayed in contact via the phone and e-mail, and things have now progressed to the point where we're engaged.

Previously she told me that as a teenager, she lived on the streets, and used meth heavily; being from England I had never encountered meth, but, I had experience with cocaine and based my assumptions on meth from that, since she said meth was like coke, but 10 times more and some.

Before meeting me, she had entirely given up on all drugs, drink and smoking from age 17.

I visited her in June, and we ended up in a bar, and we ended up drunk together, it wasn't a problem, she didn't drink after I left. She said she hadn't felt the need.

I visited her again where she lives, and we ended up once again getting drunk at various bars, and drinking at her place.

She has two small kids from a previous marriage, and never kept alcohol in the house until after my visit in September, at which point she started buying and keeping liquor in the house, and began drinking moderate amounts.

She visited me here in London for NYE, and, since it was NYE, I indulged in coke... I offered her, and she took it with me. She was quite obviously in to it, and part of our trip was spent in Amsterdam; needless to say, we smoked a lot of pot as well.

Honestly, as much as we enjoyed it drinking, smoking and coke, she hasn't gone off the rails after because of it.

Question:
I'll be moving to the states by the end of the year, and I know that I will most likely be able to obtain meth.

I'm intensely curious about what had her hooked all those years ago, and seeing how she hasn't had any problems with drinking, smoking or coke after doing them with me, I wanted to try meth, and to try it with her.

I'm wondering if anyone has dropped it and picked it up years on, for a one off (she stopped at 17, and will be 29 come august)?

I want to do what I said, but I also don't want to put her in a position of it being a problem again.

Bear in mind all she has done with me, and how she has had no problem with it.

I'd really appreciate objective advice.
     Replies...
angie
Ncali
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
I have to fight desperatltly to contain myself here
I am shaking.
okay deep breaths.

Deep breath.

God, Please DON'T DO IT !!!!
She has kids ... dont mess with this stuff.
There wouldnt be boards like this.... if meth was this wonderful easy to walk away from DRUG.

I Promise you will eventually regret it if you do. 

sickand
tired77
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Quote:
She never kept alcohol in the house until after my visit in September, at which point she started buying and keeping liquor in the house, and began drinking moderate amounts.
Quote:

Bear in mind all she has done with me, and how she has had no problem with it.
Sounds a bit contradictory to me. She didn't drink, smoke, do coke or anything... now she's buying liquor to keep in her home and drinking moderately?
I think you should maybe respect her boundaries a bit more.
Quote:
I'm intensely curious about what had her hooked all those years ago, and seeing how she hasn't had any problems with drinking, smoking or coke after doing them with me, I wanted to try meth, and to try it with her.

Meth can be instantly addictive. If she had a problem in the past, I don't think it would be very nice of you to encourage a relapse. Curiousity killed the cat...

giveme
credit
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
I am, have been reading, but all info is from recently recovering addicts, or people in the middle of it.

How do I quote?
catest Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
What do you consider "recently"?

Please...don't.
Ben
Twelve
toes
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Ummmm... Ex addicts don't do stuff like coke or drinkin or the Amsterdam drug scene.

Or maybe they do on the way back into active addiction.

Good luck and blessings brother, you are gonna need em.
TnSkye Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
OH heavens! At least you asked before you did this!!!!

I'm having a hard time believing that she is an addict and can drink, smoke dope, and do coke with you, but has no problem........It doesn't make sense at all.

Quite often addicts go from one drug to another. I don't think she's telling you the whole story.

About meth, there is no such thing as "recovered," only "recoverING."

If you do meth with her, you will both me making a huge huge mistake. Once she tastes it, there may not be any turning back for her until she self-destructs again.

For you, what if you do like it? You may try it again. Almost guaranteed by the time you try it the 3rd time, you will be addicted too.

Read the stories here. Meth is a one way road to hell. And a trip to rehab doesn't fix this. It is a daily battle for the rest of their lives for 99% of the addicts. (that's MY stat, not a proven fact)

Nothing good can come from this curiosity if you act on it. Please take our word for it. You do not need to see for yourself. You may not walk away with all you walked into it with.

There are very few people who try meth who don't become addicted. It is THAT great. Anyone with experience is not going to tell you to go ahead and try it, that it will be ok. Because it won't.
TnSkye Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Quote:
I am, have been reading, but all info is from recently recovering addicts, or people in the middle of it.
And who better to learn the truth from???????

Quote by highlighting text, click quote button to the left of the text box, the paste in the pop up box.
angie
Ncali
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
I agree.

I have been clean now for 3+ years.

I used for 10 years.

It is a nightmare. And you won't think at first you have a problem at all. It will make you think everything is fine ... mean while ... you'll be trading in everything in your life for it ... and not even realize it.

Until one day your left with nothing but your misery and a whole lot of damage .... that you won't ever think you can undo.

There is a REASON why She Quit.

A very very very REAL, And Strong REASON why she quit.
giveme
credit
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Ok, well she says she was an addict, and unless she's an awesome liar , I'm inclined to believe it's the truth; but it was like 12 years ago.

She spent most of her 16th year, becoming or being addicted, eventually only stopping when her friend smashed his head in to a wall repeatedly, and she was the only one willing to take him to hospital because the rest of the people feared being busted if they did; which is exactly what happened to her.

She said the doc spotted her and started asking questions; he asked what day it was, and she told him
"Wednesday, been wednensday for the past 5 fu**ing days"
She said the cops turned up soona after that, and she had two options, one was rehab, so she took that, and spent 6 months on some wilderness rehab thing.
angie
Ncali
 
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Okay and why didnt she go back to using at some point ?

Why did she stay stopped.
It is a very dangerous POWERFUL drug.
You won't even Know who you are by the time .... you want out.
I would say by the time it is done with you ....
BUT IT IS NEVER DONE WITH YOU.
sickand
tired77
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Quote:
but it was like 12 years ago.
No "buts".
Once an addict, always an addict. Really.
Just because she is not currently an ACTIVE addict does not mean that it is no longer a weakness. PLEASE don't encourage her to become active in her addiction again... she's come too far. Instead, you might consider being supportive of her drug-free lifestyle. It really is the more appealing of the 2 choices!

Meth ruins lives. The things you read here are very real!
My husband is a recovering meth addict... he realizes that he will *never* be able to use occasionally or just one more time; his addiction won't allow for it.

Your fiance isn't likely to be so different...
TnSkye Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
I'm not a meth addict. But my husband has been for 20++ years. He's lost everything time and time again but meth is still his best friend. It's easier to give up everything you once cared about than to give up meth, no matter how bad things get.

Your fiancee could be different, but why chance it? Most addicts can't do ANY drug because it leads them back to their drug of choice-meth. We have seen many addicts come here who were clean for many years then were sucked back into it.

I'm an alcoholic. Could I drink one drink and stop? Maybe, but I don't want to find out. I may drink myself to death the next time I get my hands on alcohol. That's not a chance I'm willing to take.

You don't have to see things my way, I'm just explaining how I think.
giveme
credit
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Ok, I'll be fully upfront.

I was heavily in to coke for about a year, to the point where I was selling weed, and spending the £500 odd per week I was making on it on coke, but I ended up deciding after a really heavy binge, to drop it.

Anyway, blah blah, I managed to stop, and now, I can go back a year on from stopping having any, and indulge in some on occassion.

Given my circumstances, I was wondering if anyone did anything similar with meth.

By the way, I do appreciate everyone's objective advice
sickand
tired77
 
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
I'm not telling you it's IMPOSSIBLE because frankly, I don't know first-hand.

But really... why chance it?!
angie
Ncali
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
I have never Met anyone.

By the time we are able to finally crawl away from it's grips ...... and we either Fight with every last ounce of us ... to STAY AWAY ....... or we go back ....

There is no grey area. No middle of the road solution.

It either f'kn has you or it doesnt.

PLEASE DEAR GOD ......... Don't let it get you.
TnSkye Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
I've been researching for 2 years or so. From what I have learned, No, one cannot casually use meth.

There are plenty who THINK they are using casually until they try to quit.
Naiev
Newlywed
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Ok, I too am trying to be calm and will try to be as nice as I can.

What the hell were you thinking giving her coke knowing she was a recovering addict? That is not love.
giveme
credit
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Quote:
Ok, I too am trying to be calm and will try to be as nice as I can.

What the hell were you thinking giving her coke knowing she was a recovering addict? That is not love.
I didn't think being addicted 12 years ago counted as recovering.
TnSkye Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Once an addict, always an addict. It is never cured. That's why earlier I said there is no recoverED, only recoverING.
choose
freedom
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
In my experience, if an ex-addict is using drugs (any drug) then they are not an ex-addict but an active addict.
nineyears
clean
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Hello givemecredit and Welcome!!

You need this forum, badly. I don't know about your girlfriend, because I haven't heard from her yet, but YOU definitely need to stay here if you are considering marrying someone who is a former meth addict, and trying meth yourself, because....

You seem to be under the mistaken impression that meth is something we, as addicts, can just pick up and put down whenever we please. YOU ARE WRONG!! Dead wrong.

You also describe your curiosity about meth and that you want to try some with her!! Next thing, you'll be telling me you love her??

Please, please, please....stay here and learn of what you are proposing. Meth is a vile drug, and once it grabs ahold of you, IT DOES NOT LET GO. You have to fight like hell to kick it. Meth is no joke, mister. Don't go there. For your sake, and for hers.

My name is Lori and I was addicted to meth for 13 years. I lost everything to meth...everything to my addiction. I was a mom and a wife and a professional, and thanks to my meth addiction, I wound up a wretch of a woman with nothing to show for all the years I worked so hard to build a life for me and my family. Nothing. I spent a year in the state penitentiary for a crime I committed while I was addicted.
Quote:
I want to do what I said, but I also don't want to put her in a position of it being a problem again.

Then don't do it. DO NOT DO IT.
Quote:
Bear in mind all she has done with me, and how she has had no problem with it.

That's bullshit.

I have to go, BUT I have alot more to say to you.

Lives
With
Wolves
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Welcome to this site. You are wise to research your thoughts before you jump head first into shallow water. You need to learn a lot more.......

My first reaction is "you get a rush from holding a gun with one bullet in the chamber to your head playing Russian Roulette"...

Are you prepared to take that chance? Is it worth it?
My vote is NO.
Naiev
Newlywed
 
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
TnSkye is right.

IMO there is no such thing as an ex addict.

In the words of my IV meth addicted husband who FINALY said the words last week "I am always going to be an addict and there is nothing I can do about it."

If you truly love her, you will stop this now. Please.
k8kanguru Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Sorry pal, but I think you are probably this woman's worst nightmare, not the man of her dreams.

Under your influence, someone who has already fought and won the battle with their addiction is now drinking again, doing coke again and, in order to for you to satisfy your curiosity about a drug you've never tried, will probably join you in doing meth again.

If you're curious about meth, start up a conversation with Ebilday who's in Day 4 of going through hellish withdrawals after using this drug for only one week!

That was from a casual suggestion from a workmate that he might be able to stay awake better at work if he tried a little powder to help him thru. Just one week on this gear and it already had him thinking he was saying goodbye to his best friend.

I watched the same thing with my partner. From the most wonderful human being to low-life scumbag bunging two grand up his arm every fortnight...all within the course of a few weeks.

So not only would you be playing Russian roulette with yourself to satisfy your hedonistic curiosity, you'd also be leading this woman you supposedly love right down the bridal path and back into hell.

For a recovering addict with responsibility for children, you're absolutely BAD NEWS for this woman's sobriety and sanity.

If she came here relaying her side of the story, I'd be the first to tell her not to touch you with a 40 foot barge pole.

Sorry to seem to hard core on this but the answer is NO, she can't ever do meth again. Not once, not ever, not even the tiniest little taste or you'll be astounded to see just how rapidly she'll slide back into full blown addiction.

And NO you shouldn't be encouraging her to drink alcohol and do coke or pot with you because all of these are addictive substances that her addiction-susceptible brain chemistry is going to latch onto and try to use as substitutes.

Not too far down the track her fried little brain is gonna start saying to her, "Hmmm, this stuff is ok, but it's not the real thing. It's not really touching the edges of the hole I'm craving to fill. But I know something that'll give me the ultimate buzz."

When an addict relapses, it's not like they go back to the start as if new to their drug of choice. Very quickly after resuming use, they go right back to where they walked out of the game on the last round.

So if you're not going to be there to support this woman in her sobriety and if can't enjoy a satisfying relationship with her without having to get drunk or stoned yourself, then do her a BIG favour and tell her you love her too much to subject her to the seriously bad influence you would be on her life. Call it off.

Go experiment with your various mind-altering substances until you learn for yourself what they're all about if you must, but leave her and her kids in peace. The last thing this woman needs is either a relapse into her old habit or a meth junkie of a husband to look after.
Guene Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Please don't do meth it is so bad and it destroys so many families lives. She has two children and why would she want to do drugs anyway, it's like they say once an addict always an addict. I really think that drugs and booze are not the answer for a good relationship. Good Luck
nine
years
clean
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
p.s.
Quote:
but all info is from recently recovering addicts
I'll be 10 years clean in a few months. If I picked up today, I would be an active addict all over again. No doubt about it.

It is my nature, my personality, my compulsive, can't do anything halfway personality.

And I'm too smart for that now. I'm too smart to EVER FORGET WHERE METH TOOK ME, AND WHAT IT TOOK FROM ME, AND WHAT MORE IT WOULD TAKE, SHOULD I LET IT.

9-almost 10-years clean
sickand
tired77
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Quote:
I didn't think being addicted 12 years ago counted as recovering.

Time to do some serious homework!

It seems like you have the attitude that time heals all wounds... it just doesn't. Addictions are serious business & time is not a cure.

It seems to me (as some of the others have noted) that you are more wrapped up in what you want to do instead of being supportive of the woman you plan to marry.
You are going to be a step-dad to those kids! THEY deserve a better example than your intentions imply.

If you are looking for a 'happily ever after'... meth ain't it.

nine
years
clean
Re: Engaged to an ex-addict
Quote:
Ok, I'll be fully upfront
Thank you.

That is what we are, and that is what we appreciate from others.

Quote:
Given my circumstances, I was wondering if anyone did anything similar with meth.
In my experience, which is, unfortunately, indepth, it is very rare with meth. Very, very unusual. Not the norm whatsoever.

Quote:
By the way, I do appreciate everyone's objective advice.
I don't know what you mean by "objective" advice. I'm not sure I can be "objective" about meth. I know it too well. I know of it's intense and destructive ways. I know it like you should hope you never know it.

There is much debate about this, but in my humble opinion, it reeks of evil.

Please don't go away mad. I know you're 9 or so hours ahead of us...I visited lovely old Londontown in February 2004. I LOVED London. I would move there in a minute if I could. Honestly. I adored it.

I look forward to talking with you soon.

See also:

Sex and dating in early recovery


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