It's funny. I asked my bf (user) that same question. If you want to
use why not just be with another user and not have to hide it or be
with someone who is going to be hurt by it? His reply was that he
would never be in a relationship with another user because then it
would just be everyone saying "yes" and no one to say "no." I think
deep down a lot of users know they need to quit. Maybe by being with
those of us who don't use they are hoping they'll find the motivation
to quit. I guess only they know.
My husband hid it for all he was worth. But he knew when he married
me, that I despised it. And he knew if he ever admitted to me what he
was doing, that would be the end. So he lied (and lied and lied and
My husband tried to hide it from me to but I ALWAYS knew when he
was using. I mean it was so obvious. Everything about him changed. I
would confront him and he'd always deny it and then disappear for
days. So yes people will try to convince you otherwise when they're
using but trust your instincts they are usually right on.
I found the proof lots of times. Each time I found it I would plan
a different way to approach him, trying to find a way for him not to
get out of it. Nothing worked. He always manipulated his way out.
Whether he admitted or denied I still never felt satisfied. I never
got what I wanted to hear from him. So, I still sit here wondering
what next. I have just gotten off the phone with him thinking, Hmmmm,
what will I do if I find it AGAIN? Call the police maybe?
I lied because I was doing something I was horribly ashamed of
doing. I lied because more than anything I wanted to be able to keep
on doing it. I lied because didn't want to lose my husband or my
family. But most of all, I lied because I knew that those close to me
wanted to believe me more than anything and that I could get away with
it. I lied because that's what addicts do. Don't believe the lies!
I was looking for a sure sign. And was hoping that might be it. How
come this damn drug is so confusing? I think he feels like it is okay
as long as he looks like he is being "normal". That is why I asked the
question. He knows I watch his sleeping habits. But meth users
eventually realize it is hurting them right? I mean, I have read a lot
about it, but does it really control your mind that much? I guess so.
Jenn, you have seen something that so many of us have - my daughter
and her husband spent so much energy to hide and "protect" their use
-- funny how they separated family members who might be able to put 2
and 2 together -- they told me awful things about his family and his
family awful things about me, now that we are all meeting each other,
we are finding out the truth. It seems in Meth - that eventually,
their world gets smaller and smaller of people that love them, but
still buy their crap. I truly don't know if it is the paranoia that
comes in or protecting the use... but it sure seems to be a pattern of
behavior that is associated with meth use -- It seems like with Meth,
users many times even believe their own lies... things that make you