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How do I require my husband to pass a drug test for child visitation?


keepit
simple
forme
Drug test for child visitation?
I plan on asking the Judge that my husband pass a drug test before he is allowed ANY sort of visitation with our 1 year old daughter. I would "think" the Judge would say supervised visitation only. And, I would think he would approve the drug testing.

So, should I ask that he do it at a facility? I just don't want to be responsible for making him go pee in a cup.......
Savannah
OfLight
Re: Drug test for child visitation?
Well if a judge requires your husband to pee in a cup he will not have you do the testing. Anything court order they will handle. But ya it sounds like a good idea to ask the judge for that. Not many people really know that they can go to a judge and ask for things like that. Good luck hun.
luve
piphany
Re: Drug test for child visitation?
It would be put in your "demands" and a letter to the court is also a good idea(at least other people have said that it helped). The judges do read everything...or they are sposed to
Loraura Re: Drug test for child visitation?
I would request drug testing by hair test (not urine) administered at a professional facility. You are correct in that you should not be involved in that process.
skeeter

Re: Drug test for child visitation?


My decree states that she can have one hour of supervised visitation a week. For anything more than that she has to take a hair follicle drug test. Here is where my lawyer got tough is that she can actually pass the test and still fail. If there is any detectable amounts of any drug. Example. I believe anything over 300 on the pot part of the test is considered positive. Lets say she tested at 250, even though it would be considered passing as far as the test goes. There still is some detectable amounts of the drug in the hair which as far as my decree goes would be considered positive. The same goes for meth or whatever else they are using.

I would hope the judge will allow drug testing but make sure that it is a hair test. Urine tests are useless and can be beat. Not as easily as somebody here posted the other day about but it can be done. Good Luck...

Sfj

Re: Drug test for child visitation?


Another perspective
Please allow me to present another opinion.

1. Hair tests are not difficult to fool. Commercial shampoos are available for just that purpose
2. You usually can't read the hair test yourself. It has to go to a lab or other facility to be processed. More possibility of human error.
3. If you give a urine test, you get the results within a minute or two.
4. He is your husband. Is there a modesty issue? Why can't you watch him pee.
5. Urine tests are much cheaper. They can be administered every other day. Hair tests would be financially prohibitive to exercise that amount of monitoring. Unless you have unlimited wealth.
6. I've said this before and I'll say it again, If you feel the need to administer a drug test to your spouse, the issues are much bigger than substance abuse. The relationship needs healing.

Loraura Re: Drug test for child visitation?
Some alternative opinions =)

If you give a urine test, you get the results within a minute or two.
He should plan ahead them. his poor planning doesn't constitute an emergency on anyone else's part.
He is your husband. Is there a modesty issue? Why can't you watch him pee.
If I'm having to ask for drug tests from a judge before letting my child's father see him, then being the person to oversee the test is NOT something I'm willing to do. Relationships are damaged here. Making her have anything to do with HIM proving he's clean to see his child is more than she should be expected to do, in my opinion. She's protecting the child. That includes not adding unnecessary stress of having a combative parent causing issues to prove he's clean. This is a legal matter now, not a personal one.
Urine tests are much cheaper. They can be administered every other day. Hair tests would be financially prohibitive to exercise that amount of monitoring. Unless you have unlimited wealth.
Again, he should probably plan ahead. He should be paying for the testing. I believe this is customary.
If he didn't want to have to prove he was clean to see his child, then he shouldn't have been using in the first place. This is a direct consequence of his actions.
luve
piphany

Re: Drug test for child visitation?


If he didn't want to have to prove he was clean to see his child, then he shouldn't have been using in the first place. This is a direct consequence of his actions

I second that emotion!
I completely agree in just stating your conditions(demands) for visitation of your child. Ask for anything and everything you think is important and then take whatever you can get. If he wants to recover, and see his child and make amends and reunite with you(mommy) then he will move h3ll and high water to do it. It gives him a wonderful reason to Really stay clean and not spend a bunch of time trying to beat the test. If he refuses a test, then it's a Pos. and he won't get to see the child anyway.
If you have a lawyer I'm sure he/she will advise you and consider all the information you give.
iluvan
addict
Re: Drug test for child visitation?
Hello everyone..I'm new here and am very scared to post too much about my situation because my ex knows about this board. But...he is taking voluntary UA's at a facility when he decides to do it or when his boss asks him. I am sure he is still using meth and think he has found a way to test negative even though they are monitored because they are not random. I did read there were ways to do this from drinking something just prior to the UA to a fake penis you wear that has a hose and you squeeze a little ball to "pee"...I guess somebody elses urine is in the "penis." I am really curious if there is a way to beat a UA for meth if a person knows ahead of time that they are going to get one.

BTW..I love this board and it has been so helpful and supportive for me. There are a lot of very special people here. I hope I will begin to feel more safe about posting because I do have some questions but right now I am too scared to post very much about my personal situation.
butter
flyxo
Re: Drug test for child visitation?
In my situation it's my sister & her husband that I have to deal with, not a spouse. Although letting you know what has went on so far with us can't hurt. Both of them kept passing drug test when they knew they were gonna have em', the urine ones & 1 hair follicle, I KNEW they were & still are drugging & it made me so pissed everytime that they'd pass one.
So finally I got sick & tired of them sneaking around them &..so before our next court hearing I spoke with my attorney & asked him if I could have them a suprise drug test waiting on them at court. He spoke with the judge, dcs & so on & everyone agreed. So they were sitting there just as happy as ever & all of a sudden a male cop came to my b-i-l with a testing cup & said, come with me. That was a kodak moment!! He lead him into the restroom watched him pee into the cup & in about 2min prescription drugs showed up. One down..one to go.
In the meantime, my sister was freaking out..she even ran into the men's restroom yelling, no no, he's already taken a drug test & passed it before. The cop had to make her go out! She started freaking out even more & looked at me & said, I've gotta go..I'm gonna run..omg Lisa..what am I gonna do. I said, your gonna sit your a$$ down & face it, that's what your gonna do..if you run, it'll only get worse. So then a lady cop took her into the restroom..held the door open to watch her..my sister told her that she can't go if someone's watching. So the lady moved over some & she heard my sister pee a little in the toliet then dip the cup in the toliet to scoop up some pee mixed with water!
Of course it came up dilluted, so they made her take another one. She told them she couldn't go again for a while..lets just say we stayed there longer than I really wanted to. That one came up amphetamines(
A helpless child is involved in this case, so I had/have to do what I have to do in order to protect him & I will. Sister or not, I don't give a shyt.
In TN a hair follicle is $75..the court urine testing is over $300, the courts paid for those, & when they'd go to the medical center it was around $40.
DCS(was) & CASA(still are) involved in me case, so that made/makes it easier for me to get things done.
So..usually when a urine or hair test is scheduled, they have time to plan for them, but if there's anyway of getting it on the spot, esp the urine, it usually works. Just one time though..lol they get a little gun shy after that little suprise.
keepit
simple
forme

Re: Drug test for child visitation?


sfj -- I'm more than shocked you would expect ME to administer the test. This guy beat me up - more than once. He's on drugs. I have a YEAR LONG TPO on him right now because of all of this. For you to expect me to make him pee in a cup (which he can't be MADE to do anything by me I assure you) and then WATCH to make sure he doesn't tamper with it?????

I'm very surprised at you.

This relationship needs healing? How am "I" supposed to heal anything when he's on drugs???? Or coming down from them? He is a liar and not interested in any "healing".

Sfj Re: Drug test for child visitation?
I apologize for my ignorance.
Loraura Re: Drug test for child visitation?
Sometimes it is difficult for me to remember all the details of someone's situation if they aren't included in a current post.
keepit
simple
forme
Re: Drug test for child visitation?
No, I'm sorry. I'm having a crappy day today. I'm not myself today!
mcr Re: Drug test for child visitation?
keepin:
I plan to ask the judge the same thing (sup visitation w/ testing) BUT is visitation/ custody up for discussion now, in ur case?
In other words have u been/ r u thinking abt going to Family Court and making ur request for in ur case, supervised visitation w/ drug testing?

I have an order as well but, follwoing the advcie of a family law lawyer,I am waiting for the X to initiate the visitation/ custody request on behalf of himself. THEN I am going to make my request. Lawyer says the longer he takes the better for me and the custody case. Shows lack of interest and so on.
Let me know if ur info contradicst this info or adds on.
keepit
simple
forme
Re: Drug test for child visitation?
Well, he did not show up at the TPO hearing. We have a compliance hearing on April 8th. If he doesn't show up at THAT one either --- I don't know what the Judge will do about visitation. He put on the TPO paperwork "No visitation until compliance hearing".

See also:

Divorcing meth addict husband - Supervised visitations with children?

My meth addict wants visitation rights and pays no child support


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