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Does the pain of meth ever go away?


lovinlife Does the pain of meth ever go away?
Just want to know if anyone else feel like I do.  I am still hurt by the things meth has caused me in my life and the thoughts of what if I had never used would things have been different ? Does anyone else feel like this?
     Replies...
no more
mething
around
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
Yes, but it isn't very productive to stay there long.
You might as well just be doing it if you're going to stay stuck there.
As you gain more and more clean time, you begin to appreciate the person you become.

You sometimes even can say, " I'm not proud of what I've done, but I'm proud I did what it took to be this person I am now. "
I'm not a big believer in looking in the rearview for long.

PS One foot in front of the other!!!
danima
l55
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
^Ditto Lisa^
The pain goes away when quit lamenting over it and move with what we *do* have...... and we do have a lot!
Build on the positives, address the wreckage and get clear of it once and for all.
It's all a process, a lifelong process of healing and self discovery.

It's a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the trip
Paws
from hell
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
I'm going to quote here from a book of mine.....

We must be done with the past, not cling to it. We want to look our past in the face see it for what it really was and release it so we can live today.

Yes I have felt exactly like you, I know your pain , exactly.
If you're clean today, and want to be clean for the rest of your life ,,, that should be your focus now. Pick up, go forward, and clean up your side of the street. Forgive yourself for everything bad you're thinking about yourself, Recovery,,, amazing,....
evewuz
framed69
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
Honey I've got to believe that everything happens for a reason--including my near fatal bout with meth. I've been frequently told that dwelling on "should have" or "would have" keeps you from enjoying what you have. Meth-free, you have been given a new lease on life. Each new day is a gift from your Higher Power to do with what you will. Enjoy your recovery.
nineyear
sclean
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
Quote:
thoughts of what if I had never used would things have been different ?

Of course things would have been different had I never used. I wouldn't have wasted 13 years of my life on meth; I wouldn't have squandered those 13 years while my son was growing up; time I can never have back; years I can't do over; mistakes I can't undo.

I've been clean over 10 years, and it is only in the latter part of those 10 years that I have been able to STOP beating myself up for my past. One of the most difficult things for me was to forgive myself.

But forgive ourselves we must, lest we fall back into active addiction. Recovery is evolving, not staying stuck in the past. Believe me, I could drown in regret if I allow myself to. All the damage and destruction my 13 year run did to me, but more importantly, to those who loved me.

But if I allow myself to wallow in regret, then I am no good to anyone, including myself. I stay out of that mindset by coming here and telling my story and sharing my experiences in the hopes of helping just one. That is how I turn the tragedies of my life into something good.

Forgive yourself. That's my best advice.

forget
suzette
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
I feel exactly like you do every minute of everyday.
..........you are not alone. it comes in waves .....it rolls in, it rolls out.
but it never stops.
starry
eyed
Does the pain of meth ever go away?
Hi lovinlife. I am five years drug free and I don't know if the pain ever goes away completely, but I do know it does lessen over time.

When my regrets and self-hatred were at their peak, I finally had make myself realize something. I told myself loud and clear that I do NOT have to re-live all the events of that time every day over and over in my head. I ALREADY LIVED IT ONCE, and I made it out. I do not need to go back there and torture myself with it, because it's OVER.

Forgiving yourself is extremely hard. It's still very difficult for me to reconcile the past with the present.

As Maya Angelou so wisely said, "You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." I think that's the idea all of us as ex-drug users have to embrace. We all stumble along the path of life and some of us fell really, really hard. But you keep on going and you do other things and then the past doesn't define you so much.
Sfj Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
Hey starryeyed,
I really liked that quote:
Quote:
"You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better."

She also knew why the caged bird sings.
(but I'm sure you know that)

starry
eyed
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
Thanks, Sfj. I really like it too because it so clearly and simply defines what most of us do to get through life. Most of us are just trying to get through life the best we know how.
chrisgonz Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
I used to think like that...how bad I'd messed up.

Then finally I realized...the past is the past, I can't do anything about what's been done except LEARN from it.

I am the student, life is the instructor.
Live and learn.
starry
eyed
Re: Does the pain of meth ever go away?
You know this topic has me thinking.
Sometimes the pain is like a cold, wet, stinking gorilla that just keeps squeezing you and squeezing you until you can't breathe.

Sometimes it's like the shadow of a jet over a huge field. One minute it's there, the next it's gone.

See also:

Getting off meth; the shame, the hurt, guilt

Dear Meth

Recovery and anxiety after quitting meth


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