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Behavior changed after quitting meth- is this normal?


Lisa Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?

I've been obsessing (for a change) over the bad behavior of my ex.

I was wondering if anyone has experienced this or known anyone who's experienced this, because I'm just having a really hard time with it.

For those of you who know my story, I won't re-hash it again (for the ninety-fifth time). For those of you who don't, this is the bottom line:

When my ex was using, he made very bad decisions, his personality changed drastically, and he treated me badly. All to be expected of an addict (I say this AS an addict).

But when my ex STOPPED using and got clean, his decisions became more bizarre, his personality worsened and he treated me much worse than when he was using.

He was clean for almost six months before he relapsed. During those six months, he hit his bottom (or what I would call his bottom). He spiraled downward into someone I couldn't recognize. His actions were lower than ever. His thinking process became even more severely disabled. He actually GOT WAY, WAY WORSE during his clean time.

Anyone else have experience with this? I never read about this type of situation.

True, he didn't follow any kind of recovery program, but neither do a lot of people who get clean. And I don't read about them becoming WORSE than they were while using.

I'm baffled (and very, very sad).

Yep, I'm certain he was clean. I WISH I could blame it on the drug!

      message board replies...
danima
l55
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Lisa I think you've described abstinence from meth and not recovery from it. Take away the meth and what's left is sheer un-medicated insanity. It does get worse before it gets better when we stop using, and without some kind of outside help we turn into raging monsters, some worse than others. Take away the meth and there we are, wounded, bored, twisted, self centered, mean, argumentive, obnoxious, condemning, impotent, frigid, etc...
We wallow in the lowest of emotions and live in a state of anaerobia 24/7.

Our emotional pain begins to flourish along with the guilt, shame, remorse, fear and assorted baggage from our pasts, kind of like prematurely removing the bandages from some serious wounds.
Consequently... whoever is handy becomes a scapegoat and a whipping' post for the aggressions and insane behavior of the abstaining addict.
It just goes to show that abstinence and a working recovery are worlds apart.
Without applying some principals of accountability, self acceptance, self forgiveness, making amends, the list goes on.....we're left in a state of living hell that invariably overflows onto others, typically those that we're closest to and *should* be hurting the least.
In truth meth does often times get too much credit as it often merely accentuates who we truly are.
Meth or not, some people are unbearable to be around, hardcore alcoholics for example.
It's tough to know and understand a person that doesn't know and understand him/her-self, nor want to.
Let go of that sadness Lisa, and rest assured that you weren't the cause of the ex's insanity, regardless of any guilt trips that were laid on you. Set yourself free.
'Cause you are!
Loraura Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Sounds like he was using meth to self-medicate an existing mental disorder, over a pre-existing condition made worse by the effect using meth had on his brain.

In cases of severe self medication, the resulting untreated mental condition, WITHOUT METH, is often much, much worse, because not only are they not getting treatment for their mental condition, they also have stopped self-medicating for it. It rages like a beast.
imlost
inky
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
There is more than just meth that becomes habit forming Lisa.
Cold, cruel heartless is habit forming too.
Empty shells that say take what you can get while you can get it, take it all, leave nothing behind.

Break others are you have been broken.
Such pleasure in pain........
Empty cold shells.

Abstinence is NOT recovery or discovery.
Meth isn't the only thing wrong with this picture.
Lisa Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Yes, I see the points in each one of your replies.

You're all right.

You all make perfect sense.

You all have hit the nail on the head.

I guess all I can do is get on with my life.

I just don't know where to put the pain where I don't have to see it, feel it, look at it, and go through it every single f*ck'in day.

Does anybody know a special place for that pain?
imlost
inky
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Quote:
Pain has a message.
Quote:
Once we get the pain's message and follow it's advice, the pain goes away.
page 214 of LIFE 101.
But alas, I skipped ahead. Back to page 33 -Who are you.
Not sure right now but I am thinking I'll be finding out before too long.
{{{HUGS}}} We WILL make it through these lessons Lisa.
I love you.
Lisa Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
T!!!!!

You got it! I'm SO happy! PM me and let me know what you think so far.

The book is magic, but only if ya keep the messages with you and keep reminding yourself all the time. I find if I let a day go by without reading or re-reading, and putting the stuff to use, I fall right back into the same downward spiral mindset.

This is EXHAUSTING work!

I know we'll get through it, I know we'll come out better people on the other side of these lessons, but unfortunately, patience isn't one of my stronger qualities.

I've always wanted a quick fix.....makes sense I'm a drug addict, huh?
imlost
inky
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
A very caring kind soul sent it to me Lisa  and yes I am reading it.
and yes it is a good book - even when I am not ready yet to listen.
I will be ready- I have faith in myself LOL!

Check your inbox- I am off to plant my forbidden flowers.
I was told I have bought enough plants- I disagreed.
No such thing as enough flowers.
So I got the ones I would have cried over to put by my pond.
I am going to plant them then I am going to sit there and feed my fish and stare at my pond, take in the beauty that is around me in the hopes that it will put some beauty in me.

Lisa Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Actually, I think your "visualization" method may be an excellent answer!

I've never been very good at visualizing things that aren't really there physically, but I've read about and heard about this method in more than one place, so there must be some validity to it!

I like the way you write...your similes and metaphors really worked for me. The mental "shelf" you speak of is exactly what I need...although it had better be a large one - I have a lot of pain and sorrow to be put there.

I loved the way you referred to "Spring Cleaning"...that's what I need right now in order to sort through what's worth putting on the shelf and what should just be worked through and let go NOW.

In any case, I'll try your visualization method tonight when I'm alone, and it's quiet, and I can sort through the myriad of feelings attacking me.

Thanks So Much!
Teressa
NM
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Are you freaking serious???!!! There is really a book called life 101?? Why have I not heard of this before?? Never mind why...just tell me where to get it...please!
Lisa Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Amazon.com.

You can get new or used and this book is a REAL TREASURE!

I first learned of it from Suzie, and I thank her everyday for turning me onto it!

Happy Reading!
Lisa Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Life 101 by John-Roger and Peter McWilliams.

You can order it through Amazon or by calling 1-800-LIFE-101.
Lisa Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Well, I had a day from hell yesterday, but at the end of it, when things calmed down a little and I was able to think semi-clearly, I tried Lisa's (nomoremethingaround) visualization idea.

I'm not very good at stuff like this, but I closed myself off in my room, turned on the air conditioner full blast, turned out the lights and visualized putting my pain, heartbreak, disappointment, resentment and sorrow in boxes and putting the boxes on a "shelf" in a closet.

It wasn't easy for me, because my mind wanders off into different avenues, or as Cal would say "I see a thousand other doors opening in my mind".

But after about fifteen or twenty minutes, I found I was breathing easier and was much calmer. When I opened my eyes and turned on the light, I felt like I had taken a nap for an hour.

Thanks, Lisa. I gotta work on it, but it just might help!
TnSkye Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
UNLIMITED POWER by Anthony Robbins can really help you with visualization as well as some other techniques. It is a great book. It may help a great deal!
no more
mething
around
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of This?
Cool ! And I was so embarrassed that I erased it after I saw that you had read it. LOL

See also:

Can an ex-addict still have long term behavioral changes?

At what stage, during the meth usage cycle, does a person's behavior seem "normal"?

What is Punding?


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